Category: Immigration

Tired of your Lousy Job? Just Say you Were Stabbed by Some Crazy Hispanic People

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621blog_stab2Attention, workers! Can’t stand your lousy job anymore? Worry no more. Now, you can get away from it all in 3 simple steps:

1) Get knife

2) Stab yourself

3) Blame a bunch of Latinos (or skinheads, whatever)

That is the lesson given to us by Aaron Seibers, 29, of Denver, who in order to avoid the nightshift at a 24-hour Blockbuster, decided to stab himself in the leg.

According to press reports:

Aaron Seibers, 29, told colleagues at the Blockbuster outlet in the Denver town of Edgewater that  three skinheads or Hispanic males dressed in black had tried to rob him and knifed him in the lower left leg.

“Three skinheads or Hispanic males?” … I think the guy got greedy in his accusation. I mean, you cannot have it all!

Target Pulls ‘Illegal Immigrant’ Halloween Costume. You Can Still Dress as a ‘Mexican Muchacha’

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panderobigAfter a very brief Brouhaha, Target.com and other retailers agreed to pull the Illegal Alien costumes they were selling online as part of their Halloween offer.

But don’t despair.

If you are still looking for a Hispanic-themed costume to impress your amigos this upcoming Día de Brujas, you can still get yourself a fake/imaginary/ typical Mexican girl costume from our friends at Halloween Costumes 4 you.

Your Latino friends -particularly those of Mexican origin- will be truly impressed. I guarantee it.

[Attention, shoppers: the tambourine is not included]

Survey Finds Mexicans Curse 20 Times Each Day…… I Say No Fucking Way!

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j638r4¡¡¿Ah qué chingaderas son estas???!!

According to polling firm Consulta Mitofsky, Mexican adults curse an average of 20 times a day, serving up about 1.3 billion swear words daily.

The survey, reported this week by AP, also found that upper class citizens swear more than the poor, while people in the heavily Indian southern part of the country curse less than northerners.

Alas, the poll did not include data among the millions of Mexicans living on this side of the border. But I’m sure the rate is enormous among immigrants in Taos, New Mexico, Maricopa County and pretty much among those watching high doses of Bill O’Reilly, Lou Dobbs and Glenn Beck.

¡Have a nice weekend, cabrones!

As of Today, Everybody Please Call me ‘Martin’

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I couldn’t make this up even if I wanted to. Larry Whitten, a hotel owner in Taos, New Mexico fired a bunch of Hispanic employees because they refused to shorten or change their names. Why? apparently because Mr. Whitten is afraid he cannot pronounce them correctly.

So basically, if you’re Martínez, Mr. Whitten wants you to be Martin; if you’re Marcos, you might as well consider responding to the name of Marc… And if your name happens to be Guadalupe, Esperanza, Montserrat or Salvador, well… I think you’ll be better off just shooting yourself.

[All this is happening in a town called Taos, which now makes me wonder if in a pre-Whitten era it was actually called Tacos?]

Does anybody know?

Estefan, Longoria Ecstatic About National Latino Museum… We Just Need to Raise, Like $300 Million

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Are you clueless about Latino culture?

Worry no more! The Nobel-prize-winning Obama administration this week got a little closer to the creation of a National Latino Museum in Washington.

Spearheaded by Spanish tortilla empresaria Eva Longoria (aka La prieta fea) and Emilio “Lord of Miami” Estefan, a dedicated commission is working in determining how this national museum would best serve in portraying the history and culture of Latinos in the U.S.

Exuding extreme pride -and apparently with a straight face- Estefan was quoted saying: “Today is definitely a proud day […] “This could never have happened 20 years ago. We’re going to create a legacy that will last forever.”

Which is, like, great, considering museum enthusiasts will have to raise somewhere between $250 million and $500 million for the thing. But hey, aren’t Latinos the trillion-dollar opportunity?

¡Sí, se puede! ¡Sí, se puede!

Obamas to Host ‘Fiesta Latina’ [Didn’t Invite Me]

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obama-sombreroNo job? No health care? No immigration reform? No problema!

The president wants you to know he cares about Latinos, so tonight he will be hosting a special event honoring Spain and Hispanics. Why not?

Dubbed -what else?- Fiesta Latina, the event will feature performances by -who else?- Marc Anthony, Gloria Estefan and George Lopez, because those are the only three Latinos we should really care about: they all have jobs, a health-care plan and more importantly an American citizenship.

Happy Heritage Month suckers hermanos!

¡El Colmo! Even ‘Polleros’ are Now ‘Made in China’

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First it was the piñatas, then the non-Agave tequila and the figurines of the Virgin of Guadalupe. And now, the Chinese are taking over the highly profitable activity of smuggling people into the U.S.

At a time when arrests of Mexican immigrants crossing illegally into the U.S. is at an all-time low, a new breed of human smuggling is taking place at the U.S.-Mexico border: Meet the Chinese coyote.

Authorities in Nogales report an almost tenfold spike in the number of Chinese people caught in the southern Arizona desert […] with at least 261 Chinese border-crossers arrested this year, according to the L.A. Times.

Mexican polleros would be best advised to move their butt if they want to remain competitive; otherwise, they will see their industry evaporate, just as it happened with shoes, toys, clothing, computers, etc. etc.

Statue Honoring ‘Los Temerarios’ in New Jersey has Residents [and This Blogger] Very Upset

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Los+Temerarios+-+Recuerdos+Del+Alma

In the latest riff between a dwindling black community and a growing Mexican population in Passeic, New Jersey, a group of residents are fuming over the placing of a statue of Los Temerarios in some housing complex.

According to The Record of Bergen County:

“Some members of Passaic’s dwindling black population see the statue of Los Temerarios as a cultural affront to non-Mexicans.”

I don’t know about the black community in Passaic, but this blogger is a non, non-Mexican who thinks Los Temerarios are a cultural affront to culture. In Passeic or else.

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El Army Wishes Hispanics in Baghdad a Very Happy Heritage Month

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Don’t be fooled by this picture. Hispanics in the military are a happy bunch… Or at least, they are just about to be.

Starting Sept. 15, Hispanic soldiers in Iraq will be joining the Latino marketing cultural extravaganza known as Hispanic Heritage Month, as the company that took them to Iraq in the first place is preparing a series of events to honor their Heritage.

These include -of course- plenty of “Latin food” and salsa dancing, because that’s what you want to do when you live in a place surrounded by mortal danger and far away from your abuela.

Police Arrest Hispanic Man for Being Anti-Hispanic

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Picture 4I couldn’t make this stuff up even if I tried. Turns out the guy who tossed a bottle and left a hate-filled note against Hispanics at a church in Long Island is, well, Hispanic. According to press reports:

Christian Mungia Garcia, 25, was arrested Friday night after hurling a wooden log and a glass bottle at a congregant of the Iglesia Evangélica Refugio de Salvacion in Patchogue. Cops later accused Garcia of leaving the hate-filled note Wednesday at the church.


Photo: The Daily News

Texan Educators Want Your Children to Learn all about ‘Brown’ People

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cristina29

And speaking of brown, uninsured people, Texan educators are said to be working on a new curriculum for social studies that is intended “to shape the future history and geography books” by featuring more and more “Hispanic figures.”

Under the outrageously silly sensational headline of School Books in Texas may get Browner, the San Antonio Express News informs us that a mostly Hispanic crowd of schoolers will soon be reading all about “brown people”, including Dolores Huerta, Dr. Hector P. Garcia, Sandra Cisneros, Henry B. Gonzalez and Irma Rangel, which I think it’s kind of odd since most of the other Hispanic figures I see every day on Hispanic television don’t look very brown to me.

But, hey! that’s just me.

[Ah… the evils of obssesing with people’s labels and colors…]

queridaenemiga

Whites Become Minority in Kansas County. [Still Majority in San Miguel de Allende, Puerto Vallarta]

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ADIOS_GRINGO4It was just a matter of time: Finney County, Kansas became majority-minority [sic] between 2007 and 2008.

Put it simply, this means than more than half the population is made up of a group that is not single-race, non-Hispanic white, according to CNN.

But Finney County is not alone. According to recent U.S. Census figures:

Nearly 10 percent (309) of the nation’s 3,142 counties were majority-minority as of July 1, 2008.

Whites shouldn’t despair, though… They will always have San Miguel de Allende, Cabos, Vallarta, Chapala, and so on…

Texas Church Helps Hispanics Find Their Inner Cowboy

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picture-2When it comes to ethnic and religious diversity the sky is the limit.

That is why the Texas Fellowship of Cowboy Churches is launching its first Hispanic venture, the Iglesia Vaquera, which is attracting parishioners by the minute.

“[The Iglesia Vaquera] follows the Cowboy church model, including simple sermons and keeping services to an hour. But instead of country music with gospel lyrics, [Pastor] Howard brings in mariachi bands and groups that play Mexican norteño and banda music,” according to the Dallas Morning News

Some parishioners say the new church has helped them not only to find God but to discover their inner Cowboy.

And that, my friends, is just heavenly!

Photo: Dallas Morning News