Move over Con-chamacos! Mexican Mother’s Day is today, so Panadería KaryCar, a pastry shop in Jalisco, had the awesome idea of launching the con-chanclas, a concha/chancla combination that is going to make your mamá very happy.
Now… if they only worked a bit harder on their grammar, because, as y’all know: #AccentsMatter
This time around, though, in honor of that amazing marketing tool known as Twitter, I’ve put together a few tweets making their way to my timeline using the #CincoDeMayo hashtag. This has only begun, so, please help me by tweeting me your own personal horrors for 2021 Cinco de Mayo and let the “Mexican” madness begin!
Ah yes, the special churro doughnut
Happy #CincodeMayo! Chef Christine has a special Chocolate Churro doughnut today at all shops! Enjoy this cinnamon sugary, chocolate ganache-y beauty with a cup of @CompassCoffeeDC.
Pizza Hut Australia tweeted the above image to its followers asking what they’d prefer on their pizza: “avocado dip” (whatever that means) or -I assume- a regular topping. I’m too busy to elaborate right now, but it is my opinion that multinationals should just leave aguacates alone.
The reason? Apparently, some Mexicans feel it’s super offensive to depict “one of our own” with a caricature of a mustachioed dude, wearing a giant sombrero and flanked by a cactus.
I get it, with the exception of yours truly, not all Mexicans like to wear giant sombreros when attending “culturally-relevant” parties. Yet, I’m much more offended by the look of these sad chips -and their apparent lack of delicious spicy flavor (or should I say “flavour?”)
Are you still in lockdown, on a tight budget for fancy avocados and still haven’t made any “ethnic-looking” friends?
You can now buy 5-feet-tall Mexican “scene setters,” ready to assemble and give your Super Bowl party a unique fiesta touch. It’s as easy as bashing a piñata! Besides, with the pandemic still in full swing, WHO NEEDS REAL PEOPLE AROUND, ANYWAY?
For only a few bucks, you can pretend to have real Mexicans at your birthday, bautizo, quinceañera, wedding, etc. These Insta-Mexicans are over 5 feet high; they won’t eat all the tamales, nor gulp all the beer or crash in your living room forever.
So, what are you waiting for? Go get your Instant Mexicans ahorita mismo!*
*I bet these are totally Made in China, but just pretend you didn’t read this note at all.