Category: Marketing & Advertising

The Oscars Are Still White, but the Oscar Statuette Is Mexican

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It is no secret that Hispanics continue to be underrepresented in the entertainment business (that is, when they don’t call us to play the maid or the mean narcos.)

But some of us couldn’t care less, because there is something far more interesting: The 8-pound, 24-carat-gold-plated statuette that will be handed out at the Academy Awards Sunday night is said to be modeled after Emilio ‘El Indio’ Fernández, a Mexican director –and actor– who used to live in Hollywood in the 1920s.

And while many people still dispute that story, I believe it’s true and will remain true as far as this blog is concerned.

[Oh, and incidentally, El Indio Fernández was actually acquainted with my mom, who was Mexican although not really “colored,” but that’s a whole other story.]

¡Viva México cabrones!

Via: NPR

I Ventured into Aisle 11 to Find out What they Meant by “Hispanic Foods”

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Photo: Laura Martínez. Catskill, NY 2023

Intrigued about what Americans understand to be “Hispanic Foods,” I ventured into aisle 11 in a Catskill, NY supermarket only to find a bunch of non-Hispanic, definitely-NOT-Mexican, dubious looking things, including Old El Paso’s Tortilla pocket kits, large cans of taco seasoning, Juanita’s Nacho Cheese Sauce and other such horrors.

I was kind of hoping to at least grab me some Hispanic cheese, but nope; no cheese was to be found in aisle 11. Perhaps there’s a Hispanic cheese aisle I’m missing, so I’ll go look for it and will keep y’all posted.

Feeling Lonely on Super Bowl Sunday? Get Yourself some Insta-Mexicans!

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They are festive, colorful and –more importantly– not contagious!

Are you on a tight budget for fancy avocados and still haven’t made any “ethnic-looking” friends?

Worry not!

You can now buy 5-feet-tall Mexican “scene setters,” ready to assemble and give your Super Bowl party a unique fiesta touch. It’s as easy as bashing a piñata! Besides, with the pandemic still in full swing, WHO NEEDS REAL PEOPLE AROUND, ANYWAY?

For only a few bucks, you can pretend to have real Mexicans at your birthday, bautizo, quinceañera, wedding, etc. These Insta-Mexicans are over 5 feet high; they won’t eat all the tamales, nor gulp all the beer or crash in your living room forever.

So, what are you waiting for? Go get your Instant Mexicans ahorita mismo!*

*I bet these are totally Made in China, but just pretend you didn’t read this note at all.

CBS Wants you to Know Bad Bunny Sings in Non-English

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If you caught the Grammy Awards ceremony last Sunday (and you are someone like me always looking for the awkwardness) you might have noticed the closed captioning during Bad Bunny’s opening act, which was… well… awkward.

And that is because while he was presenting or singing away, the captions only read “[SPEAKING NON-ENGLISH]” and “[SINGING IN NON-ENGLISH]” apparently, because that’s the language spoken by my people.

Ok, CBS, I get it. To be real honest, I have no idea what he’s talking *and* singing about most of the time. Still…

The only great thing about the closed captioning brouhaha is that someone came up with the awesome idea of launching a non-English Spotify list, featuring –who else?– Bad Bunny himself along with other English –non-English– performers.

Photo: Variety

Someone Came up with Gender Reveal Taco Parties and I Can’t Even

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This has gone way too far

And just when I thought tacos hadn’t been insulted enough in this country, today I learned about a new, disturbing trend: Gender Reveal Tacos, featuring plasticky, rosca-like niños dios and what looks like pink and … green tortillas –for some reason.

As someone who has long detested the entire premise of gender-reveal events, I’m really not quite sure what people are supposed to do with the above. Are the proud parents-to-be supposed to eat the plastic babies? Wrap them in a pink –or green– tortilla depending on the creaatures’ so-called gender?

Also: Does throwing a big serrano in the mix is a hint to let us know it’s going to be a … boy? (please go Google “chile” as a nickname for penis, etc.)

So many questions!

Perhaps, as one of my Twitter followers put it, the economy is so sucky right now, that El niño has “picked up a new gig doing gender reveals since the rosca wasn’t cutting it.”

Hat tip: Becky Hammer on Twitter

 

The George Santos Bobblehead Is Here –and Can Be yours for Only $30

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George "Mentirosillo" Santos

The National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum has unveiled the official George Santos bobblehead, featuring a smiling Santos, complete with a blue sweater-suit combo and –what else?– a Pinnocchio-like nose.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or don’t work in breaking news like yours truly) you’ll know by now that Mr. Santos, a Brazilian native, has been caught in his own web of lies and deceits: From claiming his mom was in the Twin Towers on 9-11 to allegedly bilking a veteran out of money raised to pay for his sick dog’s surgery.

This figurine is now available online and can be yours for “only” $30 and it’s not just going to sit there doing nothing. It will actually play clips of some of Santos’ biggest lies in his own words at the touch of a button.

The best part? The National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum is pledging to donate $5 from every sale to “selected dog-focused GoFundMe Campaigns.”

Don’t lie, you know you want it!

Photo: National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum 

Move Over, Baby Jesus! Baby Yoda Wants a Piece of your Rosca de Reyes

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‘Los Magos Reyes’ are almost here, says baby Yoda.

Three Kings Day – better known as Día de Reyes in Spanish-speaking countries – is celebrated on January 6 to honor the Three Wise Men (Los tres reyes magos) who went through great lenghts to visit baby Jesus and bring tons of presents to celebrate his birth.

In Mexico –and a few other countries– the festivity includes the cutting of a special, oval-shaped cake known as the rosca de reyes, which comes filled with tiny plastic dolls symbolizing the hiding of the infant Jesus from King Herod’s troops. But because we live in 2023 and Star Wars has become part of our daily lives, some very creative Mexicans are making Baby Yodas for you to stuff your 2021 rosca with instead.

Move over, Reyes Magos, here come los Magos Reyes!

I don’t know about you, I just think it’s adorbs!

ayñ

Mexico: Home of “Entrepreneurs” –and “Quotation Marks”

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Photo: Laura Martínez. Coatepec, Veracruz. December 2022

Awwww, Mexico… The land of the coc nuts coold and the Special Chapo Coffee, is also ground zero for small businesses –and plenty of quotation marks.

A recent trip to the Mexican states of Hidalgo, Querétaro and Guanajuato just confirmed what this blogger always suspected: My people just looooove quotation marks.

Check out the following gallery (by yours truly) to see only a few examples of our love affair with the ubiquitous comillas.

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Then again… Some small business owners just take the simplest — and yet still adorable — way to peddle their wares, like this clothing store in Pinal de Amoles, Querétaro:

Clothes
Clothing

 

 

Poor Newsmax Host Can’t Find Doll that Looks Like His Daughter

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First things first: I do not watch Newsmax, and quite frankly I wouldn’t even know how to since I don’t have cable TV.

However, I couldn’t help but flagging a clip I found online about Rob Finnerty, a poor white television host who can no longer find an American Girl doll that looks like his daughter, because the popular doll brand has been … wokeified.

“My daughter is just a cute little 6 year-old white girl – we couldn’t find anybody that looked like my daughter. It was — the whole place, it was, like, wokeified”

Funny how the existence of a few black and brown dolls in a world where white dolls rule still triggers this kind of panic in white, right-wing folks.

Get yourself together, Roberto, we’re not that scary!

 

FIFA 2022: Mexicans in Qatar Be Like…

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A Mexican fútbol fan (most likely a chilango) traveled all the way to Qatar and brought with him a huge speaker blasting my country’s famed “¡Se compran.. colchones .. tambores .. refrigeradores … estufas … lavadoras … microondas … o algo de fierro viejo que vendan!” a recording that is now used by thousands of peddlers of scrap metal all over Mexico.

I have no idea who this dude is but he rules. (Oh and the vid is NOT mine, I sort of “borrowed” it from the Internet.)

#FIFA2022

I’m Gonna Make Blogging Great Again

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OK, y’all. For years, Twitter was my favorite (and pretty much only) social media platform, but then Elon came around and broke it (i.e. fucked it up).

Not content with ruining everyting, tonight, on Saturday, Nov. 19, 2022 el pendejo decided to reinstate the other pendejo, so, even if blogging takes longer and costs this blogger more money that it should, I plan to take all my taco –and -non-taco – funny rants here again.

I apologize to my almost 37,000 Twitter followers for the lack of activity over there. I promise I will try to keep the fun here as much as possible. And, yes, while there are no popular hashtags on WordPress, let me get you started on some good ones:

#PincheMusk
#PincheTrump
#FuckTwitter
#RIPTwitter

p.s. If you see this post pop up on your Twitter feed, it is because I have an automated feature set up for this so you can (hopefully) come visit, and not because I’m back on this hell hole again.

Thank you all for following me here. I promise to make blogging GREAT again!

#MBGA

 

Del Taco Wants you to Think these Are Tortas

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If you thought Trump announcing a presidential bid for 2024 was the worst piece of news this year, think again: Del Taco – which dares call itself a “Mexican restaurant” – said it has added “Mexican-Style tortas” to their menu.

The company said (apparently with a straight face and via an unecessarily long press release) that their tortas are so epic that they will be known as Epic Tortas. Their excitement is such, that the chain temporarily changed its name to “Del Torta,” which –naturally– makes no sense whatsover.

This blogger is just gonna say one thing: Make Tortas Great Again!*

*and if you’re not up to the task, please just leave tortas alone.

Day of the Dead Is the New Cinco de Mayo –and I Can’t Even

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Come November, there’s one thing that really, really, gets on my nerves (besides pumpkin-spice stuff, of course) and that is America’s obsession with the Mexican tradition known as Día de Muertos (basically Day of the Dead) or as some here dare calling it: Mexico’s Halloween.

Organic yellow corn tortilla chips with typos for Día de Muertos en gringolandia

Anyhow, in an effort to show you I was right when back in 2018 I decided to call Day of the Dead the New Cinco de Mayo, I will be posting here some of the most bizarre/sad/pathetic/senseless examples of what America is doing with one of Mexico’s most beloved traditions.

CLICK THROUGH THE FOLLOWING GALLERY OF HORRORS and be sure to check back as I’ll be updating this thing as soon as new barbaridades come my way…

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I hate to say I told you, but I told you ….

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