I just love it when marketers get all excited about doing something to cater to the “ever-burgeoning” Hispanic population; even if its a magazine about people who love their boats.

Meet MarineroLoco, the presumably Spanish-language version of Mad Mariner, an online daily magazine that “takes an inclusive approach to boating, powerboats and sailboats, fishing and cruising, multi-hulls and mono-hulls.”

[Multi-hulls and mono-hulls in Spanish? Why didn’t I think of that before?]

Take a stroll around the site. You will NOT find anything about Cuban balseros or Mexican polleros across the Rio Grande, but you are likely to bump into some of the most fascinating translations and words in Spanish you didn’t even know existed!

It’s so good that even the ads are reinventing the language: Remplaze. Actualize. Ahore en grande. Ahore Ahora…?

You know the economy is tough when Hispanic celebrities have to moonlight as pizza delivery boys and promoters of the Yellow Pages on the same issue of a nationally-distributed magazine whose cover they are also gracing.

This is Cuauhtémoc Blanco on the cover of ESPN Deportes La Revista (May/June 09) and on the back cover of the same magazine, pitching the Yellow Pages as a pizza delivery boy (for reasons still unknown to this blogger). Click on each photo to expand image.

[Oh, and let’s not forget the singing!]

December 12 is one of Mexico’s most important holidays: It is the celebration of the Virgin of Guadalupe. And what better way to honor our Santa Patrona than gracing the cover of Playboy with Virgin Mary herself?

Well, sort of. This is María Florencia Onori, posing as Virgin Mary for this month’s Playboy Mexican edition, which in a matter of days has sold 80,000 copies, proving -once again- that print is not quite dead yet.

(Oh, and in case you were wondering: she is not the one who reportedly saved Oliver Atom’s life.)

How many mistakes can you make in a 48-word print advertising?

The answer is: Plenty. Check out this full-page ad taken from the December issue of People en Español. And pardon the quality of this photo (I still cannot afford a scanner!)

Here are some hints for you: 1. Todo los dias. 2) Empenzado. 3) Octobre. 4) Deciembre 5) Antes de ellos entrar.

You would think that someone who can afford a full-page ad in the country’s largest Spanish-language magazine, would be able spare a few dollars copy-editing this thing. (Pssst: talk to me, You might be able to afford me… and I might be able to finally get a scanner!)

Continuing a tradition of dumping Hispanic media and marketing coverage down the toilet around Hispanic Heritage Month, Nielsen Media has decided to throw the towel on Marketing & Medios, the online/Special Report hybrid it created upon folding the magazine I founded in July 2004.

The company has not yet made any announcement (and I doubt it will) but its Web site remained suspiciously abandoned for a week or so now. Insiders tell me that the company has eliminated Della delafuente’s position, and that Hispanic media and marketing will be covered on a freelance basis. Whatever.

I am -of course- pissed saddened by all this. It is as if my child was taken hostage, tortured, mutilated, burn and finally thrown to the wolves instead of just killing it already and be done with. As my favorite comedian, Jerry Seinfeld, would say: “You should just do it like a Band-Aid. One motion! Right off!” The company was never committed to covering the Hispanic market with cojones as we naively tried to do. Anyhow, I just hope this time will be for real. Quite frankly I don’t think I have the guts to see this thing die ad Eternum.

Marketing y Medios Requiescat in pace.