Tortas, Tacos and Trajineras to Encourage Mexico City Migrants to Vote in 2021

‘A chilanga without a voting document is like a al pastor taco without pineapple’

Mexican electoral authorities are calling on chilangos (as Mexico City residents are known) living abroad to take part in the 2010 election and vote for a “Diputación migrante.” What this basically means is that migrants hailing from the city capital will be able to cast a vote for representation at the Mexico City Congress.

And what better way to convince chilangos to take part than using some of the things that make our heart beat the hardest? Tacos al pastor; tortas de tamal and trajineras.

As Mexico’s Electoral Institute (INE) inform us on a dedicated Website, being a chilango without a voting document is equivalent to really dull things: Like a taco al pastor without pineapple; a guajolota (torta of tamal) without bolillo or a trajinera without a name.

This blogger better go sign up for this thing ASAP.

‘A chilango without a voting document is like a guajolota without bolillo.’

Hat tip: Chilango Le Chanclé

Old El Paso Launches ‘Tortilla Pockets’ for People who Know Nothing about Tortillas –or Tacos

Remember Old El Paso?

Well, the General Mills’ owned brand is back in the news, now with the launch of “Tortilla Pockets Kits,” because apparently their target consumers are too dumb to eat a regular taco made with real tortillas.

Tortilla Pockets, say their creators, “are sealed at the bottom to offer a mess-free solution at mealtimes and are ideal for a quick bite on the go.” And, no, this is not a joke. They’re already on sale in England and Australia.

Oh and “food” writers and editors seem to totally dig them!

“Eating tacos is a precarious business. After years of practise, few of us have perfected the fine art of filling a taco and getting it into our mouths without losing half of it to the floor,” writes Erina Starkey, a restaurant and news editor in Australia, which -granted- is not really known for its Mexican gastronomy. “The nifty pocket design provides a perfect cup for filling up with mince, cheese and salad so you never have to worry about dry-cleaning those salsa stains again.”

¡Ay, Erina!

Via: Delicious.com.au / Hat tip: Lone Star Vegan

Mexican Restaurant Owner Has a Message for the Haters

The bigger, more simple version of a sign advocating for social justice is even better.

Looks like advocating for equality and social justice doesn’t go down well among some people. Take some Iowans, who found a sign posted outside a Mexican restaurant a little too… politically correct.

The story goes like this. Alfonso Medina, owner of La Carreta Mexican Grill in Marshalltown, Iowa, had placed the below sign outside his restaurant as a way to take a stand in favor of science, social justice, equality… crazy, right?

The original sign posted outside La Carreta Mexican Grill in Des Moines, Iowa.

According to CNN, the offending sign brought lots of hate mail to Mr. Medina, including one letter that actually blew up on social media. Said letter came from a customer, who addressed Mr. Medina by name, said he had recently spent a lot of money in his restaurant but that –upon seeing the sign– he’d never eat there again. This person actually ended the misive by calling Medina “a leftist Marxist.”

Mr. Medina took to Instagram to respond by saying: “We’re sorry your burrito had to get political, but it was the only way y’all would listen.” The IG post ended with a bang: “No Love, No Tacos.” Then, just like any genuine “leftist Marxist,” would do, Mr. Medina copyrighted the No Love, No Tacos slogan; adopted it for his restaurant and even paid for a large billboard to display it.

Filing under Mexicans: How can anyhone not like us?

Via: CNN

Taco Bell Launches Wine to Pair with your Toasted Cheesy Chalupa

It’s called Jalapeño Noir and at least they succeeded in putting an ‘eñe’ where it belongs.

Not content with having desecrated tacos, quesadillas and the like, Taco Bell has its eyes on destroying yet another one of this blogger’s favorite things: Alcoholic beverages.

Turns out the ubiquitous American “food” chain is launching Jalapeño Noir, a new red wine to pair with your Cheesy Chalupa, because… WHY THE HELL NOT?

Fortunately for this blogger, this thing is only being released in Canada and is tied to Taco Bell Canada’s introduction of the new Toasted Cheesy Chalupa [don’t ask.] Per an unnecessarily long press release: “The new chalupa variation features six-month aged sharp cheddar cheese toasted onto the iconic chalupa shell to create a crispy blanket of flavour and texture” which should pair well with “notes of wild strawberry, cherry and beetroot in this silky limited-edition red wine.”

OK, pinche 2020, make it stop now!

Domino’s Launches Chicken Taco Pizza Because 2020

2020 strikes again

2020 strikes again.

Domino’s Pizza decided it was a good idea to launch a “chicken-taco pizza,” a hideous combination of grilled chicken, cheese, onions, tomatoes, green peppers and –what else?– taco seasoning.

“We’re excited to add even more options to our lineup of delicious specialty pizzas,” said Art D’Elia, Domino’s executive vicepresident, apparently with a straight face, in a press release.

As the pizza chain explains, “the flavors are based on foods that –unlike pizza– typically don’t deliver well. For example, if you order tacos, there’s a chance they’ll be soggy by the time they arrive at your door. Same with burgers.” Tsssssss….

I can’t, really I just literally can’t.

 

Chile Relleno and Wavy Carnitas Street Taco Lay’s Chips are Here… Because 2020 Is a Cruel Year

And just because 2020 couldn’t punish us enough, Lay’s has decided to turn two iconic Mexican dishes into … snacks in a bag. Yes, my friends, I might have been too busy blogging about bad translations in Mexico to focus on what’s really important: Yet, another chapter in the desecration of Mexican food on this side of the border.

Sources close to this sad situation, tell me Lay’s “Wavy Carnitas Street Taco” have been inspired by El Torito restaurant in Los Angeles, while Lay’s “Chile Relleno” took their inspiration from Cocina Azul in Albuquerque.

Now if y’all excuse me; it’s only 9:30 a.m. but I think I’ll go have a María Sangrienta.

Photo via: BestFoods

The ‘Veggie Taco Plush Set’ Guarantees your Child Will Never Know what Real Tacos Look Like

Speaking of culturally-relevant things… there’s a Veggie Taco Plush Set, which for “only” $49 promises to educate your child on the goodness that naturally comes with tacos, including some packets of questionable salsa; slices of avocado and even some cilantro to sprinkle here and there.

According to the description on the Kidrobot webside, the Victorio Veggie Taco Plush set,  “zips open to reveal the whole happy musical gang including backup singers Celia, Sylvia, and Sam Cilantro, Alejandro & Abigail Avocado on the strings, the Tambourine Tomato Twins, the hottest drummer in Yummy World Larry the Hot Sauce Packet and of course the infamous Bean Brothers on the horns.”

Okay, pues. Happy playing kids!

Hat tip: Gonzalo Jimenez

This London Chef Wants you to Put Pineapple Ketchup on Cornflake-crumbed Tacos

The lockdown resulting from the COVID-19 pandemic has been tough on Thomasina Miers’ children. That is why the co-founder of Wahaca, London’s weirdly-named Mexican eatery, has concocted a recipe for tacos that are… well… sure to please Londoners.

We’re talking about Thomasina’s cornflake-crumb fish tacos with a “tangy tropical ketchup,” which apparently is a mix of pineapple and cayenne pepper. For children you know?

The train wreck recipe includes tossing cabbage, onion and coriander on these things and then sprinkle with sea salt and a bit of lime. Thomasina suggests we eat them at once with a cold beer.

Ok, I’ll do the beer and toss out all the rest. Thanks.

Via: The Guardian

Sushiro Introduces ‘Sushi Tacos,’ and they Look as Awful as they Sound

Japanese conveyor-belt sushi chain Sushiro is apparently so fond of Mexican food that is launching its own “Sushi tacos,” a so-called “fusion food” that combines, well, sushi with what they think is a taco.

According to local media, Sushiro’s sushi tacos are priced at 170 yen (about US$1.60 each), and ordered via a touch panel at your seat, just like any other item on the Sushiro menu. And if you think said taco looks hideous in the picture above, wait until you see it in real life.

¡Dios mío!

Fortunately, these things, are only available in Japan –and this blogger certainly hopes it will stay this way.

Cinco de Mayo in the Time of Coronavirus Is Just as Dumb as Regular Cinco de Mayo

Shelter de Mayo? Shoot me I’m muerta

No access to the outside world? No problemo!

District Taco, a so-called taquería based in I-don’t-know-where-but-not-Mexico wants you to know that you can “take back your right to fiesta” by ordering the coronavirus-special sheltering in place combo: Delicioso steak fajitas, PLUS chips with your choice of two dips!

This, of course, is a promotion about this blogger’s favorite “Fake Mexican Fiesta” (FMF) aka Cinco de Mayo, which is just around the corner. ¡Ay!

Anyhow, hold onto your sombreros. The madness is about to begin!

Hat tip: Juan Escalante

 

If 2020 Was a Kitchen Gadget, it Would Be this ‘Taco Toaster’

This thing promises ‘crunchy goodnes,’ but it’s giving me a heart attack instead.

Move over $30-dollar Taco Toaster, here comes a less expensive, even more outrageous contraption to make what Americans think is a taco. I give you the … $22-dollar Made in California Taco Toaster, a plastic/metal mold thingy to hold your “taco” in place while you put it in a toaster –for some reason.

Worse than looking at this thing is reading the description of what it is and what it promises:

Creating a well-executed taco is an artform: salty black beans with sweet onions, blistery red peppers and corn, spicy guacamole, cooling Cotija–and best of all–a crunchy shell you can pile all this goodness into. This petite gadget lets you make crispy taco shells at home in your toaster, without any of the added oil like the ones you’d find in the grocery store.

Now if y’all excuse myself, I’ll go get drunk.

Via: Uncommon Goods

We Must Stop Cauliflower Tortillas Before it’s Too Late

As if I didn’t have enough bad news these days, someone just mentioned Cauliflower, a Los Angeles-based company determined to “reinvent our favorite foods” with healthier options, including cauliflower rice, cauliflower chips and cauliflower pizza dough.

While I couldn’t care less about what they do to rice and pizza, they’re now proudly peddling the ¡Viva Cauliflower Tortilla! apparently because people really really needed a grain-free, cauliflower tortilla to wrap God knows what in them.

“Caulipower’s mission is to listen to what people want,” Gail Becker, founder and CEO of Caulipower, told Baking Business. “Like pizza, tortillas are beloved, versatile and a natural fit for us to create a better-for-you option.”

Listen, Gail, I’m sure you’re all healthy and all that, but who are you to say this is a better-for-me option? Last time I checked, my better-for-me-option was a deliciously greasy set of carnitas wrapped in –what else?– a double corn tortilla.

Besides, if you really really want a healthy meal, just go squash some cauliflower and roll things inside it, but don’t call these things tortillas if you don’t want me to throw a fit.

Thank you very much for your cooperation.

Photo via: Caulipower

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Tours a Bodega, Eats Burritos and Drinks Jarritos de Piñac

AOC joins Desus & Mero on Bronx tour.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has a way to respond to haters.

As part of the premiere episode of Showtime’s Desus & Mero, the New York City native decided to show her critics that she’s not only a kick-ass politician but knows her way around a bodega and a taquería. Oh, and she will also mix you a margarita. And just so we have it clear: These people in Washington D.C. are “not smarter than a bartender.”

Watch Ocasio-Cortez as she joins her fellow Bronx natives, show hosts Desus Nice and The Kid Mero, on a tour of their home borough that includes bodegas, happy faces, burritos, margaritas, Bohemia beer and even Jarritos de piña.

 

This is the Only Dip you Need for your Super Bowl Party

Guacamole, which according to “avocado experts” at Wholly Guacamole was “invented by the Aztecs for its nutritional benefits for the wealthy,” can now be used to prepare a deliciously patriotic Mexican flag tricolor dip, a culinary work of art you will never encounter in Mexico (mainly because it looks like a hell of a lot of work for a real Mexican.)

But I digress. The point is: The Super Bowl LVI is tonight and any excuse to fool around with Mexican food –and the Mexican flag– is a good one. Besides… it features an eagle… and eagle, babies!

Wink, Wink…