Please update your contacts and –starting today– refer to me as Louder Murkiness, my new, awesome name courtesy of Otter.
When you Want to Use Voice Transcription Technology, but you Have an Accent 🙁
This Restaurant in Des Moines Lets you Make your Own Burrito, Because Des Moines
It’s too bad Cosmo Kramer never fulfilled his idea of a cook-your-own-pizza-pie pizzeria. But you can thank Jaime Herrera, of Des Moines, for Happy Burrito, an “innovative” Mexican restaurant where you can build your own burritos. Yes, because really, how hard can this be? Plus, you are in Des Moines, so there’s probably not a whole lot to do there anyway.
But I digress. The point is that this thing is now open and surely pleasing the denizens of Des Moines (even though some of them have absolutely no idea of how to prepare anything.)
Via: Des Moines Register
Darth Vader, Stormtroopers Help the Mexican Government Raise Awareness of HIV, Because Mexico
Campeche is not only one of my favorite Mexican states; it is also the force behind a deliciously bizarre government advertising campaign to help raise awareness of HIV and AIDS.
Using the slogan HIV doesn’t kill; discrimination does, the government of Campeche has tapped none other than Darth Vader and a stormtrooper to help raise awareness of the virus, and urge citizens to attend the Capasits (a chain of ambulatory, educational centers to help people understand HIV and learn tips on prevention and other issues.)
Because, honestly… What else can be more impactful than the good ol’ Star Wars folks telling you to take care of yourself?
Just WATCH.
Via: Publimetro
Having Ran Out of Ideas, Televisa Preps ‘Like,’ a ‘Multiplatform’ Telenovela for the Modern Masses
In an effort to lure the elusive teen audience, Mexico’s Grupo Televisa is working to bring us Like (Yes, Like as in “me gusta”) a teen telenovela that promises to “forever revolutionize” the novela genre.
And what kind of a revolution are we talking about here exactly?
“The goal is to introduce Internet and connectivity into the realm of telenovelas,” said producer Pedro Damián in an interview with Mexican television, explaining that –unlike your regular telenovela, Like is going to be a “multiplatform” one, because it will not only take place on TV, but on Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook and all that jazz.
But if none of the above is revolutionary enough for you, keep in mind this thing will take place in a “multiethnic school,” and feature kids from, like, a lot of countries and continents, that speak many languages, and… blah, blah, blah… 
Via: Teleprograma
Mexicans Poke Fun at Nike’s New Sportswear, Because… Really, Nike? 🙄
Nike’s new sports outfit is causing a stir in Mexico, because anyone who grew up down there would know it looks exactly like the uniform worn by kids in the country’s technical public high-schools.
Nike’s outfit consists of two pieces, a brown jacket with dark brown touches and matching jogging trousers, which are being sold for about $70 U.S. dollars (a pretty steep price for your average Mexican, if you asked me.)
All of that to look like… THIS?
Miami Baker Concocts Cake Featuring Fried Ham Croquetas –Because Miami
if you thought the Dunkin Donuts’ Cuban Sandwich wasn’t enough to lure you to the Sunshine State, consider this:
Andy Herrera, a happy-looking Miami baker based in Hialeah, is having his social-media moment of glory thanks to an abomination unusual creation of his: A vanilla cake filled with whipped cream, Nutella –and dozens golden brown, fried ham croquetas. Yup.
I know there are many things I don’t like/understand about Miami, but this one simply takes the cake (bad pun intended.)
Intrigued? Go read this here. I’m done.
Photo: MiamiHerald.com
‘Gringo’: An Australian Film About Mexico Featuring Mainly Non-Mexicans –and a Weed Pill
Nash Edgerton, an Australian director you probably never heard of, has been hard at work promoting the upcoming premiere of Gringo, a movie about gringos in Mexico (presumably) that, for some reason, features mostly South African and Australian actors.
Starring David Oyelowo, Joel Edgerton and Charlize Theron, Gringo is described as “a dark comedy with dramatic intrigue,” in which a gringo joyrides across the border into Mexico, “where all is not as it seems for mild-mannered American businessmen.”
SIGH…
Anyhow… The official poster says it all (above), but if you are a member of the brown-skinned race and feel underrepresented… WORRY NOT! The folks over at the #GringoMovie promos have made a special poster to appeal to the brown masses. It features the two Mexicans available.
¡Ajúa!
Intrigued? Here’s a trailer if you’re brave enough to watch.
Mexico Has Had it with America’s Sombrero-Wearing Bullies
Mexico’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs this week released an anti-bullying campaign video, calling the attention to bullying experienced by Mexican migrants in the U.S.
In the video, a narrator encourages migrants to go to their nearest Mexican consulate (there are 50 across the U.S.), to receive support and guidance, but –more importantly– it gives paisanos some useful tips to deal with bullying in their communities.
For example:
If you or someone you know is being bullied, here are some steps that can help you: talk to someone you trust, bring the issue to light. Don’t isolate yourself! Whatever you do, don’t engage in violence. Be self-confident to avoid being an easy target. Be proud of who you are.
And this, my friends, is super important, especially if you are one of those Mexicans who love to walk around in a mariachi sombrero all day long (ahem, ahem.)
However, I just have one question: When can we expect a similar campaign from the Mexican government, IN MEXICO, about brown skin Mexicans been bullied by the non-brown Mexicans? 🤔
ideo
Mexican Olympic Skier Finishes Last, but He Finishes… So ¡Viva México, Cabrones!
German Madrazo, the 43-year-old Mexican who had NEVER skied until last year, finished last in Friday’s 15km cross country competition at the Olympic Games at the PyeongChang’s Winter Olympics in South Korea.
See? It’s all true what our abuelas used to say: It doesn’t matter if you’re first –or last– the most important is to compete… *and* wave a huge Mexican flag while you’re at it.
¡Viva México, cabrones! y ¡Ajúa!
Mexican cross-country skier German Madrazo crossed the finish line last, but he was all smiles as he did it proudly carrying his nation’s flag. ❤ pic.twitter.com/8qILNmFjyE
— NBC Olympics (@NBCOlympics) 16 de febrero de 2018
Mark Cuban & Co. Invest $400,000 in Avocaderia, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore –and I’m Dead
Remember that Brooklyn hipster-paradise known as Avocaderia? Well, it’s like, sooooo popular and all, that it just received a ton of money from Mark Cuban and Barbara Corcoran, who are putting down $200,000 each to get a 20 percent stake in the hipster Brooklyn eatery.
Founded by a trio of Italian people who apparently never had an avocado when growing up, Avocaderia was the first establishment in this city to ride the millennial avocado craze. The self-described “first avocado bar in the world,” serves avocado-based salads, sandwiches, bowls, smoothies, desserts –and many other things that shall remain unidentified in this venerable blog.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering: This thing is so popular, their owners are getting ready to open a new location in Chelsea this spring.
Now, if y’all excuse me, I’ll just go get drunk on a non-avocado triple martini (whatever that means.)
Via: AmNY
Show your Lover you Care with a $20 Heart-Shaped Quesadilla
Want to say I love you, but you’re shy and/or not sure how to go about it?
Worry not. Tex-Taco, a taquería in Katy [SIC] Texas, has a very romantic, albeit expensive, solution: A $20 heart-shaped quesadilla, most likely the quickest way to your lover’s panza, I mean, heart.
Photo: Tex-Taco
Mexico, Strong Contender in the Category of ‘Best Hat’: BBC
The winter Olympics are here y’all -and while you might think Mexico’s strongest suit is its Olympic ski team, we are also considered to be a strong contender in yet another category: BEST SOMBRERO… at least according to the prestigious BBC.
So yay and ¡ajúa!
Hat tip: London Sports Correspondent
The Millennial Lotería is Now on Sale –and it’s a Thing of Beauty
It took longer than I most of us wanted, but the awesome Millennial Lotería is finally on sale. It’s not cheap and apparently there won’t be tons of sets available, so you’d better hurry if you want to put your hands on these little wonders.
As creator Mike Alfaro told MiTú in 2017, “he remembered [the lotería cards] from his childhood but was shocked at how outdated they were, so he took the opportunity to create a parody version of the timeless game.”
Click on the gallery below to get a taste of this beauty –and start saving, my friends…(all images by Mike Alfaro.)
Via: Millennial Lotería
It’s Super Bowl Weekend; Time for Ludicrous ‘Latin’ Pitches!
What follows is an ACTUAL press release sent out today to Latino journos and bloggers, probably because we love to write about disgusting things that “sound” Latin (I know I do.)
I’m not even going to try to analyze this. I’m just filing it under the “crime,” “guácala,” and “stupid propositions,” categories.
SIGH.
Move Over, Cronut… Here Comes the Tacro, a Croissant-Taco Mashup
Not content with giving us the cronut and the biscuit taco, America is at it again, this time with the “Tacro,” a mashup of a –yes, you guessed it– taco and a croissant that apparently is already selling like hot-cakes. The pastry (which is exactly what it sounds like) regularly sells out at Mr. Holmes Bakehouse just north of the Tenderloin.
According to the always relevant Yahoo.com, the tacro costs $12 and can be found at Vive La Tarte, a San Francisco eatery which has been experimenting with “unique croissant flavors” like blood orange and lemon meringue.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. Every day we stray further from the truth.
Hat tip: @BetoGuero
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