It’s not a bird, it’s not an airplane, it’s not Mexican Kent… It’s Super Mano: He is Super Awesome, and will come to the rescue if Barbie Mexicana ever gets into trouble with La Migra.
This Woman Protesting the End of DACA Is My Spirit Animal
Americans from all walks of life took to the streets Tuesday, Sept. 5, 2017 to protest Donald Trump’s cruelest decision to date: To kill DACA, a program implemented by the Obama administration that granted undocumented children protection from deportation as well as permits to be able to work legally in the US.
The decision sparked nationwide protests, including one outside the Trump Tower in the heart of New York City where dozens of protesters were arrested. Among the brave — and most hilarious — protesters was the woman above, who had a clear message for Donald Trump (or rather his Twitter handle.)
Photo via: @NYSYLC
Having Solved its Most Pressing Issues, Mexico Prepares the World’s Largest Guacamole
I hope I’m not the only one who remembers the world’s largest taco and the unprecedented efforts to save marine life. My country is at it again, this time breaking all world records possible by making a 3-ton guacamole.
Sí, señor, that’s almost 7,000 pounds of pure green deliciousness.
According to my very reliable sources (i.e. The Internet), it took about 1,000 Mexicans to mash up 25,000 avocados and mix them up with onion, tomato and the like.
But before you start judging us, keep in mind that the feat was not only to satisfy our demanding bellies, no señor.
Per Reuters:
The mass mash-up was part entertainment and part politicking, as growers and Mexico make the point that they – and the guacamole loving Americans – have benefited from the North American Free Trade Agreement that is now under threat from U.S. President Donald Trump.
Malala Yousafzai Meets Enrique Peña Nieto; Hilarity Ensues
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I’m sure you are aware that Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai was in Mexico this week as part of a larger “humanitarian” world tour.
On Thursday, while in Mexico, Malala spoke at the Technological Institute of Monterrey in Mexico City and met president Enrique Peña Nieto, who proudly tweeted a picture of the meeting.
Sooner than you can say “infraschorchor,” Mexicans took to Twitter to do what we do best: To mock our fearless leader.
Here are only a few of the tweets that made my Thursday –and still are helping me get through Friday.
IT’S MALUMA NOT MALALA
EL MEJOR 👇🏼 pic.twitter.com/SFzHySUySc
— Risco (@jrisco) 1 de septiembre de 2017
LET’S SING ALONG
– Entonces, mira, después de que yo canto “Malala” tú dices “Lalalong, long long li long long long”. pic.twitter.com/X03FaZIoDC
— 👺 Tanooki Kamikaze (@zomwalruss) 1 de septiembre de 2017
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH… EYEROLL
– …
– 🙄 pic.twitter.com/0ZOvhnvrmj— Edgar G Pichardo 💡 (@ElDeCreativo) 1 de septiembre de 2017
IS IT CHRISTMAS YET?
—¡¿CÓMO QUE NO SALES EN LA PASTORELA?!
— pic.twitter.com/vbTsxFc3Jp— fernando delaflor (@F3rn) 1 de septiembre de 2017
OUCH
“Aquí todas las mujeres tienen derecho a la educación. Mientras lleguen vivas a la edad adulta. Pero bueno, me estoy desviando”. pic.twitter.com/VZlcj91cp7
— Hara Kitty (@InfantaSinalefa) 1 de septiembre de 2017t
THURSDAY
Jueves con sed de la malala. pic.twitter.com/ru4i83hFAR
— fernando delaflor (@F3rn) 31 de agosto de 2017
OUCH II
Ella estuvo a punto de perder la vida por querer ir a la escuela.
Él plagió su tesis y es incapaz de nombrar 3 libros.@Malala y @EPN pic.twitter.com/2cCADgg8MO
— OSWALDO RÍOS 🌐 (@OSWALDORIOSM) 1 de septiembre de 2017
KEEPING HER DISTANCE
Malala pidió no acercarse mucho a EPN porque cree que la #corrupción es una enfermedad contagiosa en México. pic.twitter.com/5G63OX4jAI
— Guruchuirer (@guruchuirer) 1 de septiembre de 2017
HELP! The Avocado-Hipster-Millennial Nonsense Has Reached my Neighborhood –and I’m Dying!
This is not Brooklyn, nor the West Village, nor I-don’t-know-what-fancy neighborhood: This is freaking Harlem, for God’s sakes.
Forget for one second about those ridiculous prices: What the hell is a Tex-Mex veggerito? Why would anyone eat whole wheat tortilla chips? What’s with the alfalfa sprouts?
That’s it, New York hipsters & millennials, I’m coming to get you.
*Hyperventilates, runs to the nearest taquería*
NYC Farmers Market Joins Nonsensical Trend of Putting an ‘Ñ’ where it Doesn’t Belong
Remember that nonsensical trend of putting “eñes” where they don’t belong just to make something look — and sound — more authentic?
Well, it looks like American salsa makers, media giants and Hispanic journalists organizations are not alone in this thing. As it turns out, local farmers markets is New York City are on it as well.
¡Ay carambiña!
Photo: @Saltasolt
Click on the gallery below to see what I’m talking about and repeat after me: ¡Coño, aprendan a usar la eñe!
Amazon Proudly Peddles Colombian Jeans ‘Levanta Cola’
I was spending way too much time roaming around Latino neighborhoods in New York City looking for Colombian Jeans Levanta Cola* (aka butt-lifting jeans). But then I found out Amazon.com has an an entire section of these, some of which even promise to “compress your tummy and delineate your waist.”
So, yay and grassy ass, Amazon!
*For a friend, you know?
Somebody Should Have Consulted me Before Marketing This *Thing* to Children
Oy Vey, it’s Time to Put ‘Despacito’ to Rest…
Hat tip: @Saltasolt
MARK YOUR CALENDARS! Oakland’s Pride Latinx Stage to Feature a Bunch of Sombrero-Wearing Machos
This Super PAC Claims Hot Latinas are ‘Huge’ Fans of Trump. Fact Check: No, We’re not
A Trump Super PAC is using the hashtag #HispanicsBreakTheInternet to help spread the word that Trump is HUGE among my people (i.e. The Hot Latinas.)
As a spicy member of such a collective, I can tell you that’s simply not true. But I do hope the Latinas that do support the president have had some time to brush up on their Spanish grammar skills. Last time I checked, they were proudly pitching themselves as Latinas para Trump, instead of the accurate Latinas por Trump.
Anyway: What’s with these people *and* their president’s lousy grammar?
Mexican Daily Jumps on the ‘White Supremacy’ Bandwagon, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore
Not Photoshop. Not an Internet meme. This is the actual front page of today’s sports section of Reforma, one of Mexico’s largest daily newspapers. In case you were wondering, the “white supremacy” (in this instance) is that of the Real Madrid after it beat Barcelona 2-0 on Wednesday night. They wear white uniforms, get it? Ha Ha Ha.
Anyway, I believe I don’t need to tell you how timely the above headline is as it comes on the heels of the deadly mass riots organized by white nationalists — and self-described Neo-nazis — in Charlottesville, Virginia this past weekend.
Good job, Reforma… [SIGH]
Hat tip: @jrisco
Taco Bell Launches the Naked Egg Taco, Because there’s not Enough Misery in America
And just when I thought life couldn’t be more miserable, Taco Bell today announced the national rollout of the “Naked Egg Taco,” a “thing” that for a while was only available to the poor souls of Flint, Michigan.
“The Naked Egg Taco strips down the traditional breakfast taco, allowing us to deliver a new flavor experience in every single bite,” said Liz Matthews, Chief Food Innovation Officer at Taco Bell Corp, apparently with a straight face.
In case you were wondering, this “thing” is filled with fried potatoes, cheese, sausage or bacon and will roll out nationwide on August 31 at a bargain price of $1.99.
OK. Send in the nukes, people, I’m ready…
New York City Salon Will Give you the ‘Indian Virgin’ Look
I have no idea what this salon is up to, but in addition to a “refrigerio” Wednesday, they’re offering to implant you with the hair of an Indian virgin — for some reason.
Photo: Jessica Solt Inwood, NYC
Mexican ‘Intellectual’ Repeatedly Stabs Trump Piñata, Because We’ve All Gone Mad
This is Guadalupe Loaeza, a member of Mexico’s so-called intellectual elite who decided to celebrate her 71 birthday by repeatedly stabbing a Donald Trump piñata in her backyard — and proudly tweeting about it.
In case you’re wondering, Loaeza is a Mexican writer who became famous by chronicling the Mexican bourgeoisie (a group she knows well, because she belongs to it, of course.)
For reasons I fail to comprehend, she has been awarded the distinction of Chevalier from the Légion d’Honneur of France and written many books that I’ve successfully managed to avoid.
Watch. Learn from this. Do not repeat…. SIGH.
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