Guacamole, in French, is ‘Le Guacamole’… and, for Some Reason, ‘Grande’ Becomes ‘Grandé’

This blogger was really hoping to take a break and enjoy some time off during this summer vacation. As it turns out, multicultural marketing knows no time off, nor borders  and it doesn’t cease to amaze me, no matter where I am.

Greetings from La France, where gringos are making a killing pitching made-believe Mexican food (and inexistent Spanish words) to naïve Parisians.*

Photo: Laura Martínez, Paris, 2012

*Oh, and don’t get me started on the disgusting look of said “le guacamole.” I’m trying to eat here.

This Blog Will be in Hiatus for a While, but I’m Leaving You Guys in Awesome Company

I know thousands some of you will be obsessively clicking on http://www.Miblogestublog.com looking to get your daily fix of sardonic commentary about the wonderful world of Hispanic media. But you cannot have your pambazo and eat it too. This blogger is tired and needs to regroup and plan a content strategy for the second half of 2012… It won’t be easy.  December 2012 will bring us two very important milestones: The End of the World (on December 21nd to be precise) and the inauguration of Enrique Peña Nieto as President of Mexico.

This blogger hasn’t decided yet which of those two events will be the most catastrophic, but I promise to keep you posted.

Bored yet? Read my archives. I promise you’ll have fun, fun, fun.

Tecate Apologizes for Encouraging Men to Pee on Trees

After numerous complaints by anal law-abiding citizens who think public urination is not a really good thing, Tecate has decided to pull the above billboards.  See? Even if you don’t speak Spanish, the message is pretty clear: If you’re a man who drinks Tecate and thus have ‘coraje’ (balls, courage, etc.) then you should be able to relieve yourself anywhere you like; on trees, for example.

The Consumerist has the full scoop, including Tecate’s apology, which goes like this:

We have an internal process whereby every ad is reviewed for compliance with our local code for responsible commercial communication. As a part of that process, this ad concept was rejected by our US team but unfortunately, an error was made and the ad was mistakenly released and posted. We sincerely thank consumers for bringing this to our attention and have immediately removed the ad. We regret the error and are taking a look at our internal controls to ensure this does not happen again.

¡Voy! ¡Ni aguantan nada! [PUN intended]

‘Emilio Estefan Picks’ at Target Stores Feature Tons of Emilio Estefan Stuff

One of the greatest things about being famous and all, is that you get to pick stuff for major retailers, which is exactly what Emilio Estefan has been doing for Target Stores nationwide.

Per a Target press release: Emilio Estefan picks will be available in 99 select Target stores nationwide and the idea is “to appeal to Hispanic guests by offering them relevant, original products, not available anywhere else.”

I’m not 100% sure but it looks to me his picks include several of his own books, which is totally cool, if you asked me. In fact, I am going to contact Target and propose them a “Laura Martínez Picks” section for their Target Bodega… I promise, readers, that I will be picking my only one one of my books.

Click here to watch a video of Emilio talk about his picks.

Diane Sawyer and Jorge Ramos are BFFs Now

Univision’s Jorge Ramos this week spoke to ABC News about the Supreme Court’s recent decision on Arizona and all. But despite it being “a very sad day for the Hispanic community” and -apparently for Mr. Ramos as well- Diane Sawyer seemed to be brimming with enthusiasm as she introduced Univision as ABC’s new partner and friend. Twice.

Who could blame her? With over 50 million Hispanics now living in the U.S., I’m sure Ms. Sawyer is looking forward to keeping her job once Univision helps her network out of a ratings slump.

Click on the photo [above] to watch the video

It’s Official: Latinas Will Shine in Primetime [As Maids]

After months of speculation, and hopes that all the brouhaha was nothing but a bad taste joke, Lifetime Television has reportedly picked up Devious Maids, the 13-episode series featuring Latino women working as -what else?- maids.

Devious Maids is based on the Televisa sitcom La alegría del hogar, but the gringo version is sure to feature a group of well-proportioned Latina housekeepers who speak with a heavy accented, though grammatically correct, English.

This blogger cannot wait to see what these ladies’ “adventures” will be all about, but I can only hope the show will touch on some of the hot-button issues: Earning the minimum wage; working 80 hours a week; getting by without health insurance and living in constant fear of deportation.

Why this McDonald’s Billboard Would Never Work in Spanish

As soon as I saw this billboard at my local bus stop, my bilingual brain immediately tried to come up with its Spanish translation.

After all, Harlem is ground zero for all things Hispanic, from lettuce and Mexican haircuts to linguistically correct tomatoes.

But I quickly realized that Te-laxante would not only fail to convey a sense of relaxation, but will make constipated Hispanics run for their nearest McD.

I’m sure McDonald’s creative agencies will come up with something, but just in case, this blogger would like to propose Te-relaja. Got it? Te relaja, as in “este-te-es-para-relajarte-no-para-hacerte-ir-al-baño.

Texas Town Preps ‘Major’ Event Featuring Chihuahua Race

Still not sure what to do this weekend? Historic Seguin, Texas will be holding its Chihuahua race event, an annual extravaganza pitting tiny, hairless dogs  against each other for some unknown reason.

The event, organized by the Seguin Hispanic Chamber of Commerce (yes, there is a  Seguin Hispanic Chamber of Commerce) includes a day of “washers, music and racing” and will be held on June 23 in Central Park (yes, they do have their own Central Park.)

Calling Home is Too Expensive? ‘El Chapulín’ Can Help!

Marketing fads come and go; videogames and apps introduce funky characters that, at best, shine for a few weeks before vanishing in thin air. Not el Chapulín Colorado, which not only lives on, but continues to serve as pitch of all imaginable products & services.

Conceived in 1970 by Mexican comedian Roberto Gomez Bolaños, El Chapulín Colorado (The Red Grasshopper) this month was tapped to help Dollar Phone Enterprises sell calling cards to nostalgia-laden U.S. Latinos.

Per a company press release, the Chapulín Colorado-branded Dollar Card is a partnership with Univision Consumer Products, a Univision division that “creates products that connect with Hispanic America.”

I don’t know you, but if I’m going to call home, I want to connect through a Chespirito-branded calling card.

¡No contaban con mi astucia!

McDonald’s Now Serving ‘Traditional’ Colombian Food

Don’t you just love it when huge corporations go out of their way to cater to our Latin palate?

Well, after an unsuccessful attempt to cater to Mexican tastes by putting the Big Mac on a tortilla, McDonald’s is now launching Antojos colombianos (Colombian cravings,) a specially crafted menu for sale in Colombia that includes “some of the most recognized and traditional” foods of the country: The classic McPollo Junior (sic,) hogao sauce, empanadas, sundaes with lulo sauce, nuggets with honey, and original and unique options like ají sauce.

Call me crazy, but last time I checked, Colombian food didn’t look quite like this. Maybe they meant to say typical “Columbian” food….

Now, that will totally make sense.

Hat tip: @blabbeando