It’s Official: Latinas Will Shine in Primetime [As Maids]

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After months of speculation, and hopes that all the brouhaha was nothing but a bad taste joke, Lifetime Television has reportedly picked up Devious Maids, the 13-episode series featuring Latino women working as -what else?- maids.

Devious Maids is based on the Televisa sitcom La alegría del hogar, but the gringo version is sure to feature a group of well-proportioned Latina housekeepers who speak with a heavy accented, though grammatically correct, English.

This blogger cannot wait to see what these ladies’ “adventures” will be all about, but I can only hope the show will touch on some of the hot-button issues: Earning the minimum wage; working 80 hours a week; getting by without health insurance and living in constant fear of deportation.

Why this McDonald’s Billboard Would Never Work in Spanish

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As soon as I saw this billboard at my local bus stop, my bilingual brain immediately tried to come up with its Spanish translation.

After all, Harlem is ground zero for all things Hispanic, from lettuce and Mexican haircuts to linguistically correct tomatoes.

But I quickly realized that Te-laxante would not only fail to convey a sense of relaxation, but will make constipated Hispanics run for their nearest McD.

I’m sure McDonald’s creative agencies will come up with something, but just in case, this blogger would like to propose Te-relaja. Got it? Te relaja, as in “este-te-es-para-relajarte-no-para-hacerte-ir-al-baño.

Texas Town Preps ‘Major’ Event Featuring Chihuahua Race

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Still not sure what to do this weekend? Historic Seguin, Texas will be holding its Chihuahua race event, an annual extravaganza pitting tiny, hairless dogs  against each other for some unknown reason.

The event, organized by the Seguin Hispanic Chamber of Commerce (yes, there is a  Seguin Hispanic Chamber of Commerce) includes a day of “washers, music and racing” and will be held on June 23 in Central Park (yes, they do have their own Central Park.)

Calling Home is Too Expensive? ‘El Chapulín’ Can Help!

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Marketing fads come and go; videogames and apps introduce funky characters that, at best, shine for a few weeks before vanishing in thin air. Not el Chapulín Colorado, which not only lives on, but continues to serve as pitch of all imaginable products & services.

Conceived in 1970 by Mexican comedian Roberto Gomez Bolaños, El Chapulín Colorado (The Red Grasshopper) this month was tapped to help Dollar Phone Enterprises sell calling cards to nostalgia-laden U.S. Latinos.

Per a company press release, the Chapulín Colorado-branded Dollar Card is a partnership with Univision Consumer Products, a Univision division that “creates products that connect with Hispanic America.”

I don’t know you, but if I’m going to call home, I want to connect through a Chespirito-branded calling card.

¡No contaban con mi astucia!

McDonald’s Now Serving ‘Traditional’ Colombian Food

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Don’t you just love it when huge corporations go out of their way to cater to our Latin palate?

Well, after an unsuccessful attempt to cater to Mexican tastes by putting the Big Mac on a tortilla, McDonald’s is now launching Antojos colombianos (Colombian cravings,) a specially crafted menu for sale in Colombia that includes “some of the most recognized and traditional” foods of the country: The classic McPollo Junior (sic,) hogao sauce, empanadas, sundaes with lulo sauce, nuggets with honey, and original and unique options like ají sauce.

Call me crazy, but last time I checked, Colombian food didn’t look quite like this. Maybe they meant to say typical “Columbian” food….

Now, that will totally make sense.

Hat tip: @blabbeando

Jorge Ramos to President Obama: ‘No Way, José’

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Jorge Ramos would like you to know that he rejects the use of his impossibly cute face image to support the message of any politician, whether he or she is Republican or Democrat. The video below comes on the heels of Barack Obama’s promotional campaign video using a clip from Noticias Univision with Ramos talking about Latinos and the lack of health insurance.

Watch Ramos in full action defending his journalistic integrity and… sigh away, muchachas. Isn’t he something?

This ‘App’ is so Mexican, it Spells ‘Menu’ With an ‘ñ’

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On the hunt for fake Mexican food? There’s an app for that!

Some genius in the applications world has come up with the Mexican Food app, which according to its creators will teach you the ingredients of every burrito and help you navigate to nearby taquerías. Because as everybody knows, Mexican food is all about burritos and tacos.

Judging from some screenshots available (I have better things to do with my $0,99) one can tell the creators of the app went the extra mile to make sure things were properly spelled in Spanish –or at least pretend to know how to spell words in make-believe Spanish, such as “meñu.”

Mariachi Doritos Bring a Little Mexican Joy to Otherwise-Gloomy Brits

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Turns out Americans are not the only non-Mexicans who take pleasure in eating and drinking “spicy” stuff around Mariachis. The Brits, too, owe it to my people for bringing the party to the party (whatever that means.)

PepsiCo’s Doritos brand today unveiled its latest UK campaign, a “360-degree” effort that bears the tagline “For fun, add a little Mexican,” which apparently conveys a truly “unique” message: That Mariachis, food, music, party and corn chips go awesomely well together. Per a company press release:

“Doritos has a strong Mexican product association, which provides differentiation within the marketplace, and was central in delivering this unique campaign message.”

Wait… I think I’ve seen that unique message elsewhere… but I’m not sure.

Hat tip: GaboSama

French’s Mustard is so Spicy, You’ll Want to Wear a ‘Sombrero’ and Shake Some Maracas Around

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Remember French’s Mariachi serenade? Well, the makers of this made believe mustard fine product are at it again, this time doning a pair of maracas and Mariachi hat to some white chick who seems to be so excited about the mustard, that she feels like shaking her butt like a Mexican.

But… I have a problem with that.

See? Mexicans don’t really wear mariachi hats on a daily basis, and those of us who do, would never -EVER- use a pair or maracas to go with it. That is what a guitarrón is for!

But then again, her outfit is as Mexican as the mustard is French, so we’re cool.

Photo & hat tip: @SaraChicaD

It’s Downtown vs. Uptown: ‘Men in White’ are not All Created Equal

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It is Fleet Week in Manhattan, señores, and this blogger went out to flirt do some serious research about sailors and the like.

The city was taken May 23 with men and women in uniform, wandering New York City’s streets in search of some grounded fun after months at sea. After an entire afternoon flirting with photographing the Men in White around downtown, I went back to my humble home all the way uptown to find yet another group of men in white.

The latter, though, were not coming off a warship or anything, but seemed to be busy waiting for work outside my local bodega.

DOWNTOWN

UPTOWN

As for these fellows’ white  outfit… well, I still have to figure that one out.

¡Órale! Here’s How to Get a Free Pizza in the States

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Remember Pizza Patrón? the Texan pizzeria that caused a major brouhaha for saying it would accept Mexican pesos as payment?

Well, the marketing geniuses behind the pizzeria’s fabulous success are at it again, this time offering a free large pepperoni pizza for every customer that orders in Spanish. Per a company press release:

On Tuesday, June 5th from 5pm to 8pm, Pizza Patrón is launching its PIZZA POR FAVOR™ event at restaurants nationwide. Every customer that orders in Spanish will receive a free large pepperoni pizza, which is the company’s top-selling product. Free pizzas are limited to one per customer between 5pm and 8pm, at participating locations, while supplies last.

This is freaking brilliant, and this blogger can’t wait for June 5th to place her order.

I just have one question, though: Can I get not one, but TWO free pepperoni pizzas if I order Una pinche pizza por favor?

Thank you, Pizza Patrón, in advance for your prompt attention to this matter.

Are you a Hispanic Graduate? Go Get your Hispanic Stole and Show your Pride: ¡Ajúa!

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Is your name Mario, Lupita or José and you’re about to graduate in the U.S.? Worry no more! Prime Heritage offers a wide range of graduation ‘serapes’ [SIC] for the Latino achiever in you.

According to Prime Heritage’s website, the company’s mission is clear:

“To offer each graduate, regardless of nationality, fraternity/ sorority affiliation, race or ethnicity the opportunity to express pride in his/her achievement and heritage at graduation.” 

I don’t know about you, but think this is an awesome idea, because you don’t only want people to see you graduated but you can show your true colors by wearing these things and yell ‘Ajúa’ as you throw your graduation cap.

Heck, they even have a Facebook fan page for you to like their designs. So what are you waiting for?

Hat tip: @andycheco

Lucy? Betty?… No, Says MundoFox, ¡Es Lutty!

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When MundoFox executives took up the stage Wednesday afternoon to unveil programming initiatives, they knew the audience had had enough:

“My department did a little research, and it concluded that -by now- you have been exposed to about 320,000 hours of upfront presentations,” joked Tom Maney, the svp of advertising sales at Fox Hispanic Media. Damn, right, Tom, I’m not sure it was exactly 320,000 hours, but it certainly felt like it.

In any case, I’m happy to report the folks over at MundoFox spared us a Hollywood sign stunt. Instead, they introduced the audience to the new reality in programming embraced by Latinos; one that mixes the two worlds -and languages- in which we move around. Thus, Lucy/Betty/Betty/Lucy… ES-LUTTY!*

*NOTE: Not to be pronounced as ‘slutty.’ Thank you for your cooperation.