Move Over, Cronut… Here Comes the Tacro, a Croissant-Taco Mashup

The latest croissant food mashup is “only” $12 apiece! Yes, I said dollars…

Not content with giving us the cronut and the biscuit taco, America is at it again, this time with the “Tacro,” a mashup of a –yes, you guessed it– taco and a croissant that apparently is already selling like hot-cakes. The pastry (which is exactly what it sounds like) regularly sells out at Mr. Holmes Bakehouse just north of the Tenderloin.

According to the always relevant Yahoo.com,  the tacro costs $12 and can be found at Vive La Tarte, a San Francisco eatery which has been experimenting with “unique croissant flavors” like blood orange and lemon meringue.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. Every day we stray further from the truth.

Hat tip: @BetoGuero

California Bar Gave Away ‘Green Cards’ for Climbing Inflatable Wall, Because Cinco de Mayo

Speaking of awesome Cinco de Mayo marketing ideas, a bar in California decided it was a great idea to celebrate the faux Mexican holiday by offering … fake green cards to drunken patrons willing to climb an inflatable border wall.

Wait. What?

According to the always reliable Gustavo Arellano, Hennessey’s Tavern, in Dana Point, California thought it was idea to build a “wall” and offer patrons willing to climb it a “green card,” which would not actually grant them legal status, but get them a free drink, because nothing says “fun” as drunken gringos wearing sombreros and climb walls, you know?

It looks like the promotion  — and several videos associated with the stunt — have all been deleted from the bar’s Instagram account, and the establishment in question has since apologized. But, hey, haven’t these people heard about screenshots *and* pesky bloggers?

Via: OCWeekly

This Steakhouse Will Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a $100 Margarita, Because Why the Hell not?

Behold, the $100 margarita

Every single year, for as long as I can remember, American corporations do their best to step up their Cinco de Mayo game by launching one ridiculous thing after the other one. Every. Single. Time.

This year, the contenders for this blog’s Stupidest Cinco de Mayo Marketing Effort Award include Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse, a California eatery that will celebrate the nonsensical, American-made “Mexican holiday” with a $100 margarita.

Sí, señor. One hundred dolaritos for a pinche margarita, which features “premium liquor, including Tequila Herradura Selección Suprema and Grand Marnier Centenaire.”

But wait. How does a mix of Herradura and Grand Marnier justify such a high price? I’m glad you asked!

According to an unnecessarily long press release, the $100 margarita “is served in Baccarat’s uniquely designed Diamant Highball, and guests will be invited to take home the glass in Baccarat’s iconic red box.”

OKAY, then, I guess it all makes sense now.

Kill me now.

California Wants Kids to go Out to ‘Juagar’ -or Something

Juaga

It is always a good thing when U.S. organizations take the time to embrace other cultures -and languages. But, here’s a piece of advice: If you are a children’s museum seeking to encourage children to play and explore in English -and Spanish- you will be well advised to use proper Spanish translations and -ding!- do it right.

Now, you probably don’t have tons of money to hire someone awesome like, ahem, myself, but heck! at least you can use Google Translate. See below. It works!

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So in a nutshell: Don’t be freaking lazy; do your job properly or stop “juagando” with my people.

UNLESS, of course, you meant to say “JuanGa” in which case I’m in and I wan to play!

Hat tip: Begoña Lozano, purveyor of awesome postings.

These Guys are not Screwed, They are Screwed Up

Screen Shot 2014-01-23 at 12.17.48 PM

I don’t really know what’s worse: If watching a video of Tim Donnelly pledging to put a goddam gun in every goddam American home, or witnessing the pathetic, supposedly funny translation by María Conchita Alonso while clutching a pet named Tequila and informing us about the large size of Donnelly’s balls.

I am also not sure how I managed to make it to the following 3 minutes below, but I did. Sadly.

In any case, I felt I had to say sorry to my Californian friends. This blogger will be praying for you.

When Suspect Wears Hoodie, He can be White -or Hispanic

I just love it when the media try to give us as much information possible about criminal activity. Take the case of this suspected bank robber, who threatened employees and did away with cash at a local Chase bank in Bakersfield, California. According to this article, witnesses have described the suspect “as a white or Hispanic man,” presumably because they haven’t realized that Hispanics can also be white.

Sure, given the fact that my people (i.e. Hispanics) account for 33 percent of Bakersfield’s total population, there’s a fair chance this fellow is Hispanic, but why the bad blood? Judging from this photograph, the suspect can also be Asian, a light-skinned African-American or… Jesse Pinkman.

robber

¡Ajúa! Carly Fiorina Thinks Every Speech Should Start With a Shot of Tequila…

Attention, California Hispanics: If you still need a reason to vote Republican this November -and give your children an extraordinary lesson on politics- you might want to consider Carly Fiorina.

The Republican candidate to the U.S. Senate is so close to her Latino constituency, that during a recent gala with “Hispanic achievers” in California, she took to the stage not only to down a shot of tequila, but to actually conclude that every speech should start with, well, a shot of tequila and then rolling her “rrrrrrr’s” in a very spooky way.

Now, that’s one sensible Republican!

Hat tip: Latinoblogpolitics

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California Lures Mexicans to Activities Other Than Fruit Picking

Because you can never get enough Mexicans in California, the state’s Travel and Tourism Commission has launched an all-Spanish-language Web site to “help lure more Mexicans to The Golden State.”

Visita California informs my people about the many wonderful things we can expect to do in the Golden State, including sun-bathing, surfing, golfing and -of course- rafting.

According to Caroline Beteta, CTTC president & CEO and chair of the U.S. Travel Association:

“This new Spanish-language Web site is part of one of the ways we hope to make planning a California dream vacation easier and more compelling to this important market.”

I suppose Ms. Beteta is talking about the “other” important Mexican market; and not the one charged with cleaning their hotel rooms and picking their fruit…

I wonder.

Latinos and Republicans Share Same Values… And an Unbridled Passion for Mariachi Music and Hats

In her ongoing campaign efforts to bring “a brighter future” to California, Meg Whitman wants Latinos to pick her as the state’s next governor. Why?

Simply because, as Whitman says herself: “Many Latinos share the values of the Republican Party: lower taxes, accountable government and a system that value systems that rewards innovation and entrepreneurial thinking,” and –from what I could gather in the following video– an unbridled enthusiasm for Mariachi music and gear.

Watch as she addresses a crowd at Cielito Lindo Restaurant, while being serenaded in the background by -what else?- a Mariachi band playing El Son de la Negra [or… shall we say El Son de la Afro-Americana?]

Hat tip: Blogadera