The Hispanic CVS Pharmacy is Like a Regular CVS but Hispanic

YmasCVS

Corporate America is indefatigable.

Despite high-profile, unsuccessful efforts to give my people (i.e. The Hispanics) dedicated “Hispanic stores” with “Hispanic stuff” presumably preferred by “Hispanic people,” big corporations continue to make strides — and waste invest their money —  in giving my people their very own Hispanic tiendas.

Take CVS Pharmacy, which says it has converted 11 existing locations and added a brand-new store to launch its “Hispanic-centric store concept.”

And what exactly makes this CVS a Hispanic CVS? Well, I’m glad you asked. According to this WLRN story: “Cafecito, bilingual staff, money transfer services, and an expanded discount fragrance counter,” because unlike regular, non-Hiapanic people, we love to drink coffee and send money abroad while smelling real nice. 

Per a CVS press release, the the new stores will carry “more than 1,500 trusted Hispanic products including favorite brands such as Café La Llave, Agustin Reyes, Fabuloso, Suavitel, Creolina and Formula 88.”

Wait. WHAT? What about Hispanic cheese? Hispanic lettuceMexican Coke? None of that? Buuuu… 😦

I think I’d stick to my neighborhood’s real Latin Pharmacy, that looks just like this:

Farmacia Latina [Harlem]
Farmacia Latina [Harlem]

¡Órale! Here’s How to Get a Free Pizza in the States

Remember Pizza Patrón? the Texan pizzeria that caused a major brouhaha for saying it would accept Mexican pesos as payment?

Well, the marketing geniuses behind the pizzeria’s fabulous success are at it again, this time offering a free large pepperoni pizza for every customer that orders in Spanish. Per a company press release:

On Tuesday, June 5th from 5pm to 8pm, Pizza Patrón is launching its PIZZA POR FAVOR™ event at restaurants nationwide. Every customer that orders in Spanish will receive a free large pepperoni pizza, which is the company’s top-selling product. Free pizzas are limited to one per customer between 5pm and 8pm, at participating locations, while supplies last.

This is freaking brilliant, and this blogger can’t wait for June 5th to place her order.

I just have one question, though: Can I get not one, but TWO free pepperoni pizzas if I order Una pinche pizza por favor?

Thank you, Pizza Patrón, in advance for your prompt attention to this matter.

Microsoft Takes Telenovela Approach to Pitch Bing

I was watching Jay Leno the other night, when I bumped into the following commercial -entirely in Spanish. For a second I thought I had sat down on my remote and the channel had switched back accidentally to Univision. But… nope.  This ad was running on NBC and is still airing on most English-language nets.

A friend tells me this spot is part of a bigger plan by Microsoft to tap into the so-called “Hispanic Millenials” (whatever that might be). I just love the fact that Los Links are Evil, and that la muchacha is stolen away in a white horse -all of this while another cute muchacha keeps dusting the furniture in the background.

Hat tip: The Green Beetle