McDonald’s ‘Boliviarian’ Menu Replaces Fries with Yuquitas

Yuquitas Venezuela

You know things are tough in Venezuela when hundreds of local McDonald’s restaurants decide to drop French fries from their menu.

Per the local press, more than 100 McDonald’s establishments in Venezuela have pretty much taken off French fries from their combos, claiming a nationwide shortage of potatoes.

But Venezuelans shouldn’t despair. After all, fries are being replaced by a “Bolivarian menu,” which features yuquitas, a good-enough replacement based on  the ubiquitous, certainly more affordable yuca, — and hopefully less deadly than the chemically-altered McDonald’s papitas. 

As my grandmother used to say: No sólo de papas fritas vive el hombre. So, stop complaining, have some yuquitas.

♪ ♫ Ojalá que llueva ( McCafé ) en el Campo ♫ ♪


Hispanic Heritage Month is in full swing, and with it comes the flurry of pandering Hispanic marketing opportunities to reach my people. From culturally relevant print publications and invitations to celebrate our heritage by eating pizza and drinking Pepsi to taking part in the Miss Gay Hispanidad Beauty Pageant, everyone’s in a fiesta mood. ¡Ajúa!

The latest to join the festive fray is Juan Luis Guerra, the Dominican icon who gave us Bachata Rosa, La Bilirrubina, Si tú te vas and other glorious merengue classics. Guerra has partnered with McDonald’s NYC Metro to take Latinos on a journey of spicy flavor that “will culminate with a surprise concert to be announced at a later date in New York City.”

I don’t know you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on an authentic Hispanic McDonald’s meal and dance to the tune of: ♫ Ojalá que llueva McCafé en el campo…. lah, lah, lah…♪

McDonald’s German Mariachi Will Steal Your ‘Herz’ and Make you ‘Lieben’ Chili con Carne


Turns out the Germans are not only fond of Mexican food, but they get all festive and dress up in mariachi costumes and all to celebrate a good ‘chili con carne,’ which is actually not a Mexican dish, but who cares? Any excuse is good to dance around the Straßen waving Mexican flag and all.

Hat tip: @tropicarlitos

…and in case you don’t know what Los Wochos are; Los Wochos are El Chile con Carne, Los Beefos y el Chicken Fiesta.





Sadly, McDonald’s Denies Being Behind Awesome Stop & Frisk Meal Giveaway

UPDATE: Predictably (i.e. sadly) McDonald’s denied being behind this awesome idea. This blogger continues to urge the NYPD to launch such an effort and include Mexican fare in their meal offering (I mean, in case the stopped and frisked happen to be Latinos.)

Oh, how I wished this was true!

In a move to show the world the ridiculousness of racial profiling African-Americans, a website claiming to be associated with McDonald’s has launched the Three Strikes, You’re In!, a program that “rewards New Yorkers for their patience with the “Stop and Frisk” policy.”

Per a release:

[…] Individuals who are stopped and released three times without charge are eligible for one Happy Meal™ at participating McDonald’s stores. To receive their Happy Meal™, customers must record each stopping officer’s badge number, as well as the the time and location of the stop, on a voucher obtainable at these stores.

This “effort” is too ridiculous (and brilliant) to be true. However, this blogger thinks it’s actually not a bad idea at all. And given the fact that many victims of NYPD’s Stop & Frisk program are also Hispanics, I would like to encourage the NYPD to put it into place and actually expand their meal offering to include Chipotle or Taco Bell. (I’m sure many of my fellow Latinos would looooove to be given the option of a free burrito or a free torta.)

Farmer Frank Martinez Loves Growing Potatoes for McDonald’s. Eats them Raw

Meet Frank Martínez (alas, not a relative,) a potato grower from Saddle View Farms, WA, who thinks his potatoes are much better after they get peeled, chopped, fried and chemically manipulated by McDonald’s. (Presumably because he has a tendency to bite into raw potatoes, which have got to taste pretty bad.)

Mr. Martínez is one of several real-life suppliers featured in one of McDonald’s latest U.S. ad campaigns.

Go on. Watch him bite into a raw potato. Right. Now!

Make-Believe ‘Latin’ Food Can -and Will- Kill You

quesadillaburgersYou can only thank the Center for Science in the Public Interest for its latest advisory against certain “meals” that will most likely kill you or, at least, leave your arteries as congested as the Periférico on a rainy Friday afternoon (or pretty much at any time, any day, rain or shine…)

Among the center’s worst of the worst dishes included in its 2009 Xtreme Eating Award you will find:

  • Little bacon-cheeseburgers tucked inside quesadillas [whatever those are]
  • The Applebee’s Quesadilla burger (a mini-bacon cheeseburger inside a quesadilla), consisting of two flour tortillas, two kinds of meat, two kinds of cheese, pico de gallo, lettuce and ranch dressing sauce… served with fries, mind you.
  • Chili’s Big Mouth Bites: four mini-bacon cheeseburgers served with fries, onion strings and jalapeño ranch dipping sauce

I have no idea why I don’t recall eating any of the above disgusting delicious meals while growing up in a real Latin American household. But I am proud to follow a rigorous diet based on authentic American-made Mexican food and other U.S.-made delicacies.


McDonald’s Puts The Big Mac in a Tortilla. Seriously

mcdonaldsMove over, McSkillet Burrito. Your favorite fat fast-food chain is testing the Snack Wrap Mac in several markets. The new culinary work of art is nothing but half a beef patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions –wrapped in a flour tortilla. Yummy.

McDonald’s spokeswoman Danya Proud proudly told AdAge that results of the test in several markets so far have been “great.” Supporting her claim, an executive at food industry research firm Technomic simply says: “It makes sense. They’re cheaper than a Big Mac. It tastes like a Big Mac with a tortilla.”

Hell, why didn’t we think of that before?