Mexican Singers, Russian Hackers, Same Difference, Says Texas Congressman Mike Conaway

giphymariachi

In the latest episode of the political joke we’re now living, Rep. Mike Conaway from Texas just told The Dallas Morning News (apparently with a straight face) that the Democrats using Mexican singers, charros, mariachis and soap operas to lure Hispanics to the Hillary Clinton campaign is pretty much the same thing as the Russian hacking scandal.

Per Conaway himself:

“Harry Reid and the Democrats brought in Mexican soap opera stars, singers and entertainers who had immense influence in those communities into Las Vegas, to entertain, get out the vote and so forth.”

And this, says Conaway, should be considered “foreign influence […] If we’re worried about foreign influence, let’s have the whole story.”

Really? Last I checked, many of those colorful people seen singing on stage or hosting taco-filled fiestas for Hillary were actually U.S.-born or U.S. citizens (Los Tigres del Norte, Julieta Venegas, Vicente Fernández, etc.) but anyway, they were not sneaking behind the Web to hack an election were they.

Come on! ¡Pinche Conagüey!

Via: Dallas Morning News

Does Donald Trump Like ‘Frijoles?’ We Might Soon Find Out

FrijoleraPizzaPatron

We now know many more things about Donald Trump (aka El Trumpo) than we ever needed to know. But one thing is still not clear. Does the billionaire like frijoles?

We might soon find out.

Dallas-based Pizza Patrón will be asking this question to Mr. Trump during his Dallas visit scheduled for Monday, Sept. 14, in which he will also be invited to pick up a Pizza Frijolera at a nearby restaurant.

Should Mr. Trump decide to comply, he’ll be in for a real treat:

According to Pizza Patrón officials, local residents are being asked to write a special message on the box that will contain El Trumpo’s warm and delicious bean-based pizza (Frijolera.)

And because this blogger can’t wait to see such a display of love & warmth, she is hereby joining the cause and asking El Trumpo to please comply and pay a visit to Pizza Patrón. Heck! They even accept pesos!

This Church Claims God is Having Sexual Pleasure with you

Wait. What?
Wait. What?

No, the devil is not in the details; the devil is in the bad translations.

Take St. Ignatius, an Austin-based catholic parish, which — in an effort to lure more Hispanics — decided to translate its holy message into Spanish.

However, St. Ignatius’ publicists would have been well advised to know that “God Delights in you” shouldn’t be translated as God se goza contigo, which is Spanish for, ahem, ahem…  “God is having sexual pleasure with you.”

I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a very uncomfortable proposition –and one that does not make me want to attend church any time soon.

hat tip: Le Chanclé

Texas State University to Offer a Mariachi Postdoc… ¡Ajúa!

Mariachis

Tired of having your parents scolding you for not going to college? Law and Medicine are not your thing?

Worry no more! Now you can earn a ‘mariachi postdoc,’ thanks to an upcoming summer program at the State University of Texas in San Marcos.

According to this AP story, starting this summer the Latin Music department at STU will offer a summer postdoc in mariachi, which requires a total of 15 credits and courses in vihuela and guitarrón, among other relevant instruments.

The school already offers a Mariachi Teaching Certificate and a few other specialized music courses, including salsa and ranchero.

Who said college in America was boring?

Texas Town Preps ‘Major’ Event Featuring Chihuahua Race

Still not sure what to do this weekend? Historic Seguin, Texas will be holding its Chihuahua race event, an annual extravaganza pitting tiny, hairless dogs  against each other for some unknown reason.

The event, organized by the Seguin Hispanic Chamber of Commerce (yes, there is a  Seguin Hispanic Chamber of Commerce) includes a day of “washers, music and racing” and will be held on June 23 in Central Park (yes, they do have their own Central Park.)

More on the Growing Career Choices for Latinas

With Latinas rapidly making it as star maids in Hollywood, it was only natural that other professional opportunities would arise.

Enter the Lubbock Fantasy Maid Service, in Lubbock, Texas, offering “nude and topless maid services.”

How much are these sexified maids, anyway? Customers pay $100 an hour for one maid and $150 an hour for two maids, and “if the customer wants his or her maids to be completely nude, all he/she has to do is ask.”

With Hispanics representing 32% of the population of Lubbock, Texas, I’m sure Latinas are part of this company’s sexy offering, in which case all this blogger asks for is a fair treatment (i.e. please do not call the migra on them; at least not while they are cleaning in their undies.)

West Texas Mayor Quits Post, Moves to Mexico With Undocumented Lover

JW_Lown It looks like undocumented Mexican workers not only want to steal your jobs, but also your so-very-cute politicians.

Just when we thought “coming out” was still not very “in” among some high-profile individuals, the mayor of a West Texas city abruptly resigned Wednesday after acknowledging being involved in a relationship with an undocumented Mexican. According to the local press, J.W. Lown, 32, mayor of San Angelo, said he didn’t want to take the oath of office knowing he was “aiding and assisting” someone who is not a U.S. citizen. He was to be sworn in Tuesday but did not show up for the ceremony.

“I left a home. I left a ranch. I left a promising political career,” Lown told the AP.

The pair are said now to be in Mexico, reportedly living la vida loca waiting for a visa to return. Ah… l’amour!

Texas Church Helps Hispanics Find Their Inner Cowboy

picture-2When it comes to ethnic and religious diversity the sky is the limit.

That is why the Texas Fellowship of Cowboy Churches is launching its first Hispanic venture, the Iglesia Vaquera, which is attracting parishioners by the minute.

“[The Iglesia Vaquera] follows the Cowboy church model, including simple sermons and keeping services to an hour. But instead of country music with gospel lyrics, [Pastor] Howard brings in mariachi bands and groups that play Mexican norteño and banda music,” according to the Dallas Morning News

Some parishioners say the new church has helped them not only to find God but to discover their inner Cowboy.

And that, my friends, is just heavenly!

Photo: Dallas Morning News