Bill de Blassio Has no Idea What Condón Means in Spanish

Ever since he announced he’s running for president in 2020, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has been using a very special hashtag in the hopes it will go viral. Nothing wrong with tapping on the power of social media to get traction, except that the hashtag in question is –wait for it– #ConDon.

Not only he has posed alongside supporters holding a #ConDon sign, but he’s even sending out very special mailers (below) asking Americans to contribute and support his campaign. Apparently, De Blasio’s #ConDon thing has something to do with Donald Trump, but I will never know because every time I read #ConDon, I cannot help but think about these things.

One thing, though, Mr. De Blasio: If you’re going to advocate for people wearing preservatives… use an accent over the “o” will ya?

Photo via: Juan Manuel Benitez

Mexico Has Had it with America’s Sombrero-Wearing Bullies

Mexico’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs this week released an anti-bullying campaign video, calling the attention to bullying experienced by Mexican migrants in the U.S.

In the video, a narrator encourages migrants to go to their nearest Mexican consulate (there are 50 across the U.S.), to receive support and guidance, but –more importantly–  it gives paisanos some useful tips to deal with bullying in their communities.

For example:

If you or someone you know is being bullied, here are some steps that can help you: talk to someone you trust, bring the issue to light. Don’t isolate yourself! Whatever you do, don’t engage in violence. Be self-confident to avoid being an easy target. Be proud of who you are.

And this, my friends, is super important, especially if you are one of those Mexicans who love to walk around in a mariachi sombrero all day long (ahem, ahem.)

However, I just have one question: When can we expect a similar campaign from the Mexican government, IN MEXICO, about brown skin Mexicans been bullied by the non-brown Mexicans? 🤔

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Sunday is National Taco Day and the Augusta Police Department is on it

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Sunday Oct. 4 is National Taco Day in the U.S. (don’t ask) and everyone is really excited.

And by everyone I mean everyone.

Take the Augusta Police Department in Maine, that will be holding a taco eating contest starting at 3 p.m.

According to the Augusta, Main Facebook page, the first eater to finish a ‘Taco Gigante’ will earn $250 donation to the charity of their choice. The event will take place at Margaritas Augusta –naturally.

Now…. as this blog went to press (LOL) this blogger had no idea where Augusta, Maine was, nor why the Police Department there is holding a Taco Gigante eating contest in Margaritas Augusta.

However, this thing must be so important that the local media is hyping the event, and even writing an article that starts with ¡OLE!… Because, as everybody knows, if it has to do with tacos and margaritas, it might have something to do with the Spaniards.

¡Ole!
¡Ole!

Jeb Bush Wants you to Support His Campaign by Buying a $75 ‘Guaca Bowle’

Because 'Jeb and Columba love whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday.'
Because ‘Jeb and Columba love whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday.’

With the hilarious 2016 U.S. presidential campaign around the corner, candidates are going the extra mile to raise the much needed cash to be able to compete against the dumb-but-filthy-rich-candidate-type-people.

Take Newly Converted Hispanic Jeb Bush, who is asking you to pitch in $75 for the Guaca Bowle, a presumably-Made-in-China plasticky looking molcajete that I can find in Mexico City for, like, a fifth of the price.

But why a molcajete, may you ask? Well, because Jeb and wife Columba (not Columbia, nor Colombia) simply “Love whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday.”

Ay, caramba!

Can someone please start working on a Guaca-Bowl piñata?

Hispanic Jeb Bush Is the Best Thing on Twitter Right Now

Unless you live under a rock, in a detention center in Guantánamo or in a place without access to Twitter (very unlikely), you would have heard by now that Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush once identified himself as Hispanic in a voter registration application.

50804272According to a Miami-Dade County document published Monday by The New York Times, Bush listed his race/ethnicity as “Hispanic,” in a 2009 voter-registration application, a fact that quickly spread over social media, giving way to some hilarious tweets, starting with Hispanic Jeb Bush himself.

The incident quickly gave way to the creation of the YebBush Twitter account, which promptly began interacting with this blogger.

I say we should cut this guy some slack. He speaks fluent Spanish. His wife, Columba (NOT Columbia) Bush, was born in Mexico and for two years in his 20s, he lived in Venezuela… Besides, his Spanish is WAY better than that of many “Hispanics” I know. I promise.

 

Thursday is National Tequila Day, and Some Flak Wants me to Drink Jenni Rivera Tequila

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As if living in the U.S. weren’t hard enough, one has to keep track of all these national food and drink holidays, which are a lot, believe me. There’s National Vodka and Taco DayNational Tortilla Chip Day and even National Paella Day.

And while I have missed a few of these very important celebrations, I intend to celebrate in full the upcoming National Tequila Day, which will take place July 24.

But I will not be celebrating with just any tequila. Per the advice of a flak PR executive, the best way to celebrate is by opening a bottle of Jenni Rivera La Gran Señora Tequila (whose existence had also eluded me) and mix a “super terrific drink…” How about a spicy cucumber margarita?

I don’t know about you, but since I’m very receptive to PR pitches and PR people, I’ll be starting my test right away. Why wait until the 24th?

¡Salud!

Mexican Wins Miss Universe Title. Americans Fret Over How Many Babies She’ll be Dropping

Despite the above costume (or perhaps because of it) a young Mexican holds the title of this year’s Miss Universe. A native of Guadalajara, Jimena Navarrete is only 22 and expected to move to New York City some time soon… So, we can only guess she’ll have plenty of time to start dropping a lot of little brown creatures around.

Take that, Brewer, Arpaio & Co.!