Photo: Laura Martínez, Col. Nápoles, 2023
Category: Guacala
Someone Came up with Gender Reveal Taco Parties and I Can’t Even
And just when I thought tacos hadn’t been insulted enough in this country, today I learned about a new, disturbing trend: Gender Reveal Tacos, featuring plasticky, rosca-like niños dios and what looks like pink and … green tortillas –for some reason.
As someone who has long detested the entire premise of gender-reveal events, I’m really not quite sure what people are supposed to do with the above. Are the proud parents-to-be supposed to eat the plastic babies? Wrap them in a pink –or green– tortilla depending on the creaatures’ so-called gender?
Also: Does throwing a big serrano in the mix is a hint to let us know it’s going to be a … boy? (please go Google “chile” as a nickname for penis, etc.)
So many questions!
Perhaps, as one of my Twitter followers put it, the economy is so sucky right now, that El niño has “picked up a new gig doing gender reveals since the rosca wasn’t cutting it.”
Absolutely losing it over gender reveal tacos pic.twitter.com/e8Y7MtRCoK
— Becky Hammer (@beckyhammer) January 27, 2023
Hat tip: Becky Hammer on Twitter
Del Taco Wants you to Think these Are Tortas
If you thought Trump announcing a presidential bid for 2024 was the worst piece of news this year, think again: Del Taco – which dares call itself a “Mexican restaurant” – said it has added “Mexican-Style tortas” to their menu.
The company said (apparently with a straight face and via an unecessarily long press release) that their tortas are so epic that they will be known as Epic Tortas. Their excitement is such, that the chain temporarily changed its name to “Del Torta,” which –naturally– makes no sense whatsover.
This blogger is just gonna say one thing: Make Tortas Great Again!*
*and if you’re not up to the task, please just leave tortas alone.
Mexican Food According to Croatia
Good morning from Zagreb!
So, here I was, strolling through the capital of Croatia, taking in the sights and sounds of this gorgeous city, when I bumped into “Taquitos Bandidos,” a small joint in Downtown Zagreb luring visitors with the promise of “Street Food.”
Of course I didn’t come all the way here to eat make-believe Mexican food, but I was intrigued and walked in to see the menu, which was brought to me by a family of flautas dressed like “bandidos,” complete with mustachios and sombreros, with one of them even waving a gun.
The menu features your regular taquitos, quesadillas and “spicy dips,” but of course, being from someone totally clueless about what Mexican food is all about, it includes chilli con carne and… chicken salad wraps.
The only good thing I found here was that they actuallly sell Jarritos, which of course cost as much as a bottle of Corona and way more than what they believe is tequila.
As for the food, well if it looks like this … so don’t blame me if I go in there soon to ask them to DELETE THEIR MENU.
Pizza Hut Australia Wants you to Put Guacamole on your Pizza
Pizza Hut Australia tweeted the above image to its followers asking what they’d prefer on their pizza: “avocado dip” (whatever that means) or -I assume- a regular topping. I’m too busy to elaborate right now, but it is my opinion that multinationals should just leave aguacates alone.
… oh and don’t get me started on the copy.
via: Pizza Hut Australia
South African ‘Mexican’ Chips Unleash the Fury of Mexicans on Reddit
Reddit Mexico has been abuzz with an overwhelming outcry against a South African corn chip snack.
The reason? Apparently, some Mexicans feel it’s super offensive to depict “one of our own” with a caricature of a mustachioed dude, wearing a giant sombrero and flanked by a cactus.
I get it, with the exception of yours truly, not all Mexicans like to wear giant sombreros when attending “culturally-relevant” parties. Yet, I’m much more offended by the look of these sad chips -and their apparent lack of delicious spicy flavor (or should I say “flavour?”)
Via: Reddit Mexico
Esquites en Bolsita, Because Nothing Is Sacred Anymore
Move over tamales en bolsita, here come the esquites en bolsita, or as I like to call them, “The Esquites Pouch.”
These babies are also from La Costeña and can be found in your local Mexican supermarket for only $30 pesitos. Because nothing is sacred anymore.
Photo via Reddit
Today in Nonsensical South American Gringo Meals…
Tired of ‘Regular Thanksgiving?’ Make it a Latino Thanksgiving
Let’s be honest: Just as any other holiday, Thanksgiving has become mostly another good reason to eat and drink in excess (at least in my case.)
But if a 3 pm “dinner” of turkey, pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce seems a little boring to you, you can always throw a “Latino Thanksgiving,” which basically means a three-day smörgåsbord of lechón, tamales, arroz, frijoles, elote, tostones, tequila, poker games — and plenty of dancing and family drama.
If any of the above sounds exciting enough, you are in luck.
Here are 8 SIMPLE STEPS to turn your regular Thanksgiving into a Latino one:
- Turkey? Who eats turkey? Run to the closest bodega and pick the biggest lechón available. Roast and stuff an apple on its mouth while you’re at it.
- Cranberry sauce? We don’t even know what that is. Get a mojo going or start a guajillo marinade for said lechón
- Start with plenty of tamales and make sure to serve rice, beans, gandules, tostones and/or plantains on the side.
- Pumpkin? Who eats pumpkin? Really. Pumpkin is only good when you use its flowers to make one of these.
- Start serving dinner at 10 pm, because, really, who has dinner at 3 pm?
- Once the meal is over, and liters of alcohol have been consumed, be ready for your mother, tía or abuela to start crying inconsolably over you not visiting more often, etc.
- No football. Who watches football? It’s not like it’s fútbol… Take out the baraja, the poker chips and open up the wallet.
- Turn up the music and dance like maniacs all night long. And do not worry about thy neighbor. Thy neighbor should be thankful to have a Latino family around. After all, what is Thanksgiving if not an opportunity to say gracias?
A Spanish-language version of this blog post first appeared on Univision.com
U.S. Salsa Makers Join Nonsensical Trend of Putting an ‘Ñ’ where it Doesn’t Belong
Remember that nonsensical trend of putting “eñes” where they don’t belong just to make something look — and sound — more authentically Latino?
Well, it looks like American media giants and Hispanic journalists organizations are not alone in this thing. As it turns out, the makers of Trinidad salsa* have decided it’s OK to put an “eñe” on habanero.
I mean, COME ON! It’s not that difficult. How about putting an “eñe” where it DOES belong? Like in “jalapeño?” for example?
- Don’t get me started
#ItsHabaneroNotHabañero
The Lazy Susan Topping Bar Is Here –and I Can’t Even
Got extra $40 and no shame? I got the perfect thing for you!
The Nostalgia Taco Tuesday Heated Lazy Susan Topping Bar is a fun way to get together on Taco Tuesday and share hideous, non-taco tacos with your friends. The set costs “only” $39.99 (plus shipping) and promises to hold as much plasticky, fake Mexican food you can imagine!
According to its creators, this thing’s Lazy Susan Design “makes it easy to share across the table” and features a “removable warming pot and topping trays.”
Heck, there’s even a video showing how a “timeless tradition has been made more convenient.”
Watch at your own peril; I’m done with Thursday.
Photo via: Amazon.com / Sombrero tip: @lechancle
Japanese Ramen Chain Wants you to Think this is a Taco
Move over, Sushiro’s sushi tacos, here comes the Gyoza Taco Dog, the latest Japanese taco-themed delicacy courtesy of Korakuen, one of Japan’s largest ramen chains.
Korakuen is mainly known for its “fun” take on ramen, launching stuff like Valentine’s Day ramen, ramen-flavored fried chicken, and even ramen delivery robots. The novelty now is the Gyoza Taco Dog, a “combination of gyoza, tacos, okonomiyaki, and hot dogs.”
But, what makes this thing a taco? I’m glad you asked! “The taco flavor serves up gyoza nestled in a hot dog bun topped with a spicy sauce with chopped tomatoes, green peppers, onions, and jalapeños and a rich cheese sauce.”
OK, pues.
Old El Paso Launches ‘Tortilla Pockets’ for People who Know Nothing about Tortillas –or Tacos
Remember Old El Paso?
Well, the General Mills’ owned brand is back in the news, now with the launch of “Tortilla Pockets Kits,” because apparently their target consumers are too dumb to eat a regular taco made with real tortillas.
Tortilla Pockets, say their creators, “are sealed at the bottom to offer a mess-free solution at mealtimes and are ideal for a quick bite on the go.” And, no, this is not a joke. They’re already on sale in England and Australia.
Oh and “food” writers and editors seem to totally dig them!
“Eating tacos is a precarious business. After years of practise, few of us have perfected the fine art of filling a taco and getting it into our mouths without losing half of it to the floor,” writes Erina Starkey, a restaurant and news editor in Australia, which -granted- is not really known for its Mexican gastronomy. “The nifty pocket design provides a perfect cup for filling up with mince, cheese and salad so you never have to worry about dry-cleaning those salsa stains again.”
¡Ay, Erina!
Via: Delicious.com.au / Hat tip: Lone Star Vegan
Taco Bell Launches Wine to Pair with your Toasted Cheesy Chalupa
Not content with having desecrated tacos, quesadillas and the like, Taco Bell has its eyes on destroying yet another one of this blogger’s favorite things: Alcoholic beverages.
Turns out the ubiquitous American “food” chain is launching Jalapeño Noir, a new red wine to pair with your Cheesy Chalupa, because… WHY THE HELL NOT?
Fortunately for this blogger, this thing is only being released in Canada and is tied to Taco Bell Canada’s introduction of the new Toasted Cheesy Chalupa [don’t ask.] Per an unnecessarily long press release: “The new chalupa variation features six-month aged sharp cheddar cheese toasted onto the iconic chalupa shell to create a crispy blanket of flavour and texture” which should pair well with “notes of wild strawberry, cherry and beetroot in this silky limited-edition red wine.”
OK, pinche 2020, make it stop now!
How to NOT Market your ‘Mexican-Flavored’ Snacks
Spanish food conglomerate Frit Ravich might want to learn how to use mexicanismos when marketing their “Mexican-flavored” snacks.
According to the packaging of these Mexican-flavored sunflower seeds, the taste of these babies will leave you shaking your maracas and playing your guitar while feeling … well, a bit stupid. You know? Because Mexicans!
Hat tip: Ñam Ñam Barcelona
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