Author: Mi Blog es tu Blog

‘The New York Times’ Launches Spanish-language Edition; Sadly not Called ‘El New York Times’

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Behold: Spanish text above the fold
Oy, vey! There’s Spanish text on the front page *and* above the fold!

Monday, February 8, 2016 was a good day for Spanish-language media.

The New York Times officially announced what had been the worst kept secret in town: The launch of a Spanish-language Website to “offer the best of our journalism for a Spanish-speaking audience.”

In a note to readers, editor Lydia Polgreen introduced the Spanish-language site, adding it will not only include translated material from the New York Times, but original stories by a growing team of editors and reporters, mostly based in Mexico. Polgreen also tweeted the following photo of a very-happy-looking team in what looks like a tiny office:

This blogger promptly favorited the site, followed everyone involved and even signed up to receive The New York Times en Español newsletter, mostly because it features a section called Reposado, which I believe has something to do with tequila, so ¡Yay!

reposado

So… ¡Salud! y ¡Que viva el Niuyortáims en español!

 

Bud Light to Air First Spanish-language Super Bowl Ad

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Screen Shot 2016-02-07 at 1.57.38 PM

… But before non-Hispanic people go crazy and start sending us all back to Mexico and such, please note that the 30-second spot (below) will NOT air on CBS, but on ESPN Deportes, which will broadcast the game in Spanish for the first time ever.

The spot features actor Michael Peña encouraging a party of Bud Light-drinking sports fans to have fun and and do away with stereotypes (i.e. Mexicans in mariachi gear playing the guitar,) which is kind of OK, but hey, I loooove men in mariachi gear playing the guitar!

Anyhow, this blogger is trying to stay away from this thing (Super Bowl *and* Budweiser) as much as possible, so here ya go!

Lenovo Wants you to Use your Lenovo Laptop to Prepare ‘Taco-Inflated’ Footballs

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'No laptops were hurt in the making of this commercial'
‘No laptops were hurt in the making of this commercial’

Chinese computer manufacturer Lenovo is only the latest company to jump on the “make-believe taco” bandwagon. And what better way to do this than through a tutorial on how to make “taco-inflated footballs?” (whatever those might be.)

Watch Lenovo’s tutorial in the tweet below to learn how to use a Lenovo tablet to grate cheese and ultimately bake a trio of football-looking pastry things that — for some reason — the Chinese company thinks are tacos.

¡Ay, Dios mío!

Even Aliens Know Mexican Avocados are out of this World

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avos

Avocados From Mexico is back on the Super Bowl advertising game with #AvosInSpace, its latest TV commercial that is scheduled to make its official debut on Sunday, during the Big Game in San Francisco.

While the spot is not as adorable as that of last year (remember the polar bear clad in mariachi gear voting for Mexico?) it does a good job highlighting the ridiculousness of what the human race has become.

In the spot we see a bunch of aliens in a spaceship learning about human culture and our most unique Earthly possessions, which include emojis, torture devices (aka airplanes) chia pets and — oh dear — the infamous dress — or as the aliens refer to it, “the white and gold dress that caused a civil war.”

During a brief tour, the guide tells aliens about the most amazing thing of all: The avocados from Mexico, which are always in season, so you can enjoy them all year long.

Via: Avocados From Mexico

According to Some ‘Bovine Writer,’ there are 14 Species of Latinas in the U.S. [Can you Guess Where I Belong?]

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Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States
Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States

Some “writer” in the United States has written Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States, a $17.99 “book” that promises to help gringos “find and identify the right Latina to date, love or marry.”

I’m going to spare you the details of this thing, but let’s say in a nutshell that — according to this aptly-named Bovino fellow — there are 14 SPECIES of us (i.e. Latinas of the United States). Fourteen, people, fourteen. Among them:

  • SYMMETRICAL FORCE (Colombian American): Butt size varies, but breast implants are practically a rite of passage and she likes ‘em BIG.
  • TRIFECTA (Venezuelan American): Routinely causes an erection lasting more than 4 hours, but neediness, jealousy, and controlling behavior – a real “trifecta” of drama – occasionally spoil the mood.
  • TACO BELLE (Mexican American): Warm and cuddly as a teddy bear but (somewhat) shy around strangers, especially gringos.
  • TRANSFORMER (Cuban American): If her breasts are large enough to match her hips and butt, she can be a Latin Jessica Rabbit, but too much Cuban food or too many kids and she’ll transform into Rosie O’Donnell right before your eyes.

Mr. Bovino fails to identify this blogger, but I can assure him after I review this thing on Amazon, he’d like to call my species THE MEXICAN AMAZON RATINGS KILLER.

[SIGH]

Hat tip: The Flama

Swiss Entrepreneurs Create ‘Magical Machine’ to Make $1 Tortillas

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teamflatev
Mariachi hat: Proof their invention is legit

And just when I thought technology couldn’t get any more ridiculous awesome, a group of sombrero-wearing geniuses hailing from Switzerland have invented Flatev, a machine that promises to deliver “fresh, authentic tortillas in seconds.” In seconds, people, SECONDS!

And what’s the magic behind this thing? Pods, people, pods!

Per the startup’s Website, Flatev uses pods to produce ready-to-eat tortillas. One pod per tortilla.

Think of it like a coffee machine that makes flatbread. Instead of ground coffee, our pods are filled with fresh dough with natural and healthy ingredients.

Why be like Rosa when you can make $1 tortillas?
Why be like Rosa when you can make $1 tortillas?

The best part? Each pod produces one tortilla and each pod will cost you “only” $0.90.  (That is after plunking down about $300 for the actual “magical tortilla machine.”)

WATCH the video [below] to learn how to get Rosa out of the kitchen and replace her with a Flatev thing instead.

#NotTheOnion

Advertising Agency Declares War on ‘The Hispanic Silo;’ Hires Two Hispanics Instead

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SiloHispanicAnomaly
‘The Hispanic’ at Anomaly, looking kind of ‘solo…’ for now

A few days ago, New York-based advertising shop Anomaly made some Internet headlines by declaring war on “The Last Silo of the marketing communications landscape: The Hispanic Silo.”

Per Anomaly’s own manifesto:

Silos by their nature are bad. They stifle potential. They stand there all tall and rigid. They breed homogeneity […] As we look to the future we cannot help but be inspired by the changed dynamics of America today. We are a more pluralistic, more progressive, more cultured nation.

And all of this, my friends, was just a very elegant way of announcing the hiring of its first Hispanic creative talent, namely Dieste’s Giovanni Villamar (See photo of the silo above) and D’Expósito’s Mauricio Galvan) who — at least for the moment — look kind of an anomaly in mostly white, non-Hispanic-but-total-market advertising and marketing landscape.

Anyhow, this blogger wishes these two Hispanic non-silos at Anomaly all the best in their non-Hispanic, total market endeavors.*

*Oh, and make sure to have your non-Hispanic, non-Silo colleagues at Anomaly follow this blogger religiously. I promise tons of piñatas, sombreros and tacos.

Pizza Hut’s ‘Ultimate Mexican Pizza’ Is a ‘Flavour Fiesta’ that Looks Disgusting

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MexicanPizza

Remember McDonald’s German mariachi?

Well, hold on to your sombreros, because now it’s Pizza Hut’s turn to give us yet another revolting concoction that it dares calling “Mexican.”

Pizza Hut’s New Zealand is introducing the “Ultimate Mexican Pizza,” a “flavourful” combination of nachos, quesadillas, jalapeños and stuffed cheese crust, because Why-The-Hell-Not?

In a nutshell: ¡Guácala!

Edinburgh University Bans Costumes of ‘Mexicans, Gangsters and Mental Patients’

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No Mexican costume for you!
No Mexican costume for you!

Pity the students at Edinburgh University.

For reasons that escape this non-Scottish, freedom-of-speech-advocate Mexican blogger, students at this fine institution have been banned from wearing “offensive fancy dress costumes,” which according to said institution, include “Mexicans, gangsters, mental patients and camp men.”

Per the University ordinance:

“It is also not acceptable to use props to emphasise racial characteristics in order to convey an individual or character. A good costume should be clear enough that you do not need racial or cultural additions.”

I don’t know about you but I still don’t understand how a Scottish person smoking a gigantic plastic cigar and wearing an Andaluz hat qualifies as “a Mexican.” Besides, someone still has to explain to me how my people (i.e. the Mexicans) ended up in the same bin with gangsters and mental patients.

I mean, WTH Scotland? We used to get along!

Via: The Scotsman

The Oscars Might be White, but the Oscar Statue Is Mexican

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2015/01/img_7344-1.jpg
Thursday was not a good day for so-called “colored people” in the U.S., as the Oscar nominations were announced showing — once again — that the Academy is intent on nominating mostly white people. Best Actor in a leading role category? All white. Best Actor in a Supporting role category? All white. Best Actress in a leading role category? All white. Best Actress in a Supporting role category? All white. The category for Best Director is mostly white and all male, but includes Alejandro G. Iñárritu, which ironically is known in his native Mexico as ‘El Negro.’

Anyhow… the nominations raised the ire of many so-called colored people, and quickly made the #OscarSoWhite hashtag a trending topic (TT) on Twitter for the second year in a row.

I understand why this has so many [colored] people up in arms, but at least Mexicans should Keep Calm and remember that while the Academy, its judges and its nominees are whiter than white, the Oscar statue was actually modeled after Emilio ‘El Indio’ Fernández, a Mexican director and actor who used to live in Hollywood in the 1920s.

And while many people still dispute that story, I believe it’s true and will remain true as far as this blog is concerned.

Oh, and incidentally, El Indio Fernández was actually acquainted with my mom, who was Mexican although not really “colored,” but that’s a whole other story.

#ChapoKate Is a Thing and to Prove it, Here are their Piñatas

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ChapoKate

The creators of the Donald Trump piñata are at it again, this time with an awesome combo: Two brand new piñatas, one featuring Kate del Castillo (aka La Reina del Sur and the toughest telenovela actress you will ever meet) and a revamped Chapo-Piñata, featuring Guzmán clad in the now infamous worn-out gray t-shirt he was wearing when caught.

The combo comes on the heels of one of the most surreal (i.e. awesome) stories ever to hit my ever-surreal country…

I think this is all great (gracias, Piñatería Ramírez!), but this blogger has one urgent question: How much longer do we have to wait for the Sean-Penndejo piñata?

Mucus Loves Taco Tuesday; Vows to Wear Sombrero to Go out

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mucinextacoI am not really a fan of mucus or mucus-related marketing, but this disgusting creature has earned a spot on this venerable blog, mostly because of his apparent love of tacos.

Watch mucus as he gets ready for Taco Tuesday only to be put down by some white guy armed with 12-hour Mucinex.

It ain’t happening, moco, so you’d better keep your sombrero for some other time. Cinco de mayo, perhaps?

WATCH:

h/t: @pattyrodriguez