
They look like churros, but apparently they’re boobs –or something like that.
Photo: Laura Martínez, Bayeux, France 2019.
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They look like churros, but apparently they’re boobs –or something like that.
Photo: Laura Martínez, Bayeux, France 2019.

This only proves what I’ve been saying, like, forever: The farther you go from Latin America, the more generic our food becomes.
Photo: Laura Martínez, Paris. 2019.

Dear Readers:
I know Twitter, Facebook, Instagram et al have been stealing time and energy from this blogger and I have not been able to keep my promise of posting something here everyday as I used to in the dial-up AOL.com, pre-Zuckerberg era.
And now, as if all that weren’t tragic enough, I’ve decided to embark on a late, long vacation in an undisclosed location (check out my Instagram account if you’re REALLY dying to know where I’ll be,) so I won’t be able to update this thing as often as I would like.
That said, I am reaching out to you TODAY to ask for your help in spreading the above manifesto, which will help restore the sacredness of the food from my homeland, and hopefully contravene the terrible transgressions it has endured throughout these years.
I trust you will read –and memorize– the above manifesto and help this blogger put a stop to the nonsense of spreading shredded cheddar on top of stuff and/or mistaking a burrito for a quesadilla or –worse– a corn tortilla for a flour one.
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and think of me every time you find an authentic enchilada. 🙏🏻

Some company in Texas wants you to celebrate the holidays with the ultimate Latin-inspired treat: Cinnamon crisp “mini-buñuelos,” which are not only cooked in 100% avocado oil, but are also paleo, vegan and gluten free… Just like the ones my abuela used to make! –NOT.

Taco Inn, one of Mexico City’s many ubiquitous taquerías, has jumped on the vegan bandwagon with what looks to be meat-looking meatless tacos.
A promo image posted recently by a Twitter user looks to promote a set of vegan tacos for $99 pesos with the legend: sINN chIcharoNN (obviously playing with the taquería’s name (Inn) to spell out the phrase without pork skin (sin chicharrón.)
However, on closer inspection and by missing an “r” on the word “chicharrón” it looks as if Taco Inn is saying their guacamole has no chícharos (green peas,) which is making this blogger scratch her head in confusion:
Has the failing New York Times gone too far with this hideous thing?

Hat tip: @EdgarNunezM

No, Del Real Foods, pupusas are not a Mexican tradition and no, f not stuffed quesadillas.
Get your act together, will ya?

Leave it to Mexican taqueros in New York City to reimagine Frosted Flakes (Zucaritas, in Latin America) and turn them into something truly delicious: Tacos de Carnitas.
Chomp, chomp!
Hat tip: Queens Taco Correspondent Juan Diego Ramírez
Photo: Eat the World NYC

So much for the bad blood between this blogger (i.e. yours truly) and Hispanic Heritage Month. Goya has launched a new campaign which is actually a fun way to show America what I HAVE BEEN SAYING, like, FOREVER: That not all Latinos are fond of fútbol, abuelas or conservative values.
The following spot, crafted by Dallas-based Dieste, kicks off with a hilarious take on a Latin stereotype that is way too common in this country:
[NARRATOR’S VOICE] They say if you know one Latino, you know all Latinos: We only think of fútbol and nothing but fútbol.
Pan out to a scene where dad & kid are having breakfast (¿huevos rancheros?) and kid blurts out: “Dad, I want to play hockey.”
SHOCKER!
But perhaps my favorite part is around the subject of language, where you can get away by saying, well, they all speak Spanish… REALLY? Think again:
Frijoles > Habichuelas > Porotos > Judías*
*Yes, judías. Go Google it or something…
WATCH
Our client GOYA celebrates Latin diversity with their new campaign: Ode to a Mix. Let’s celebrate our heritage with unique flavors. If it’s Goya… it has to be good! pic.twitter.com/B8MuA0bj7a
— Dieste (@Dieste) September 23, 2019

Would you eat a burrito with a name such as “Lock Her Up?”
I didn’t think so, but someone does.
Hanif Mohamed, a Muslim immigrant from Kenya, had the not-so-swell idea to open a taquería in Albuquerque with items he hopes will make us crave for his Mexican “food.” Urban Taquería‘s food items include tacos & burritos with bizarre names like “No Collusion,” “The Wall,” “Under Audit,” “Executive Privilege,” and –of course– “Bad Hombre.”
Mohamed –who by the way cannot stand President Trump– told The Washington Post that tacos such as “Bad Hombre” and “Fake News” and burritos such as “The Wall” and “Lock Her Up” “are meant to start political conversations and keep people talking about Trump’s rhetoric.”
Maybe, Mr. Mohamed, but what’s with the chipotle arbol and the carne adovada? That’s already a no no for this Spanish grammar-obsessed blogger, so I think I’ll pass on your “conversation.”
Oh, and don’t get me started on your habañero mayonnaise…

Photo via: CNN

Eva Longoria (aka this blogger’s favorite retroacculturated Latina) has landed the directing gig of movie about Richard Montanez, none other than the creator of the spicy Flamin’ Hot Cheetos snack.
The Fox Searchlight biopic will tell the story of Montanez as he went from working as a janitor at Frito-Lay to achieve the American Dream (namely, to create a very spicy botana for the hungry masses.)
According to press reports, Montanez’ spicy creation was reportedly “inspired by the flavors of his community, helped revitalize the company and disrupted the food industry, creating a pop culture phenomenon that continues today.” Because, if there’s something Latinos (especially Mexicans) are good at is at spicing up the lives of others.
Say what you will about Mrs. Longoria or Cheetos. I’m all up for spicy and more Latinos (retroacculturated or not) in Hollywood.
Via: CNN

A restaurant in Boca del Río, Veracruz has found a winning combination to sell its products: Footage from Avengers: Infinity War, tacos, tortas and a super fun evil Thanos that twerks to show his penchant for Mexican food.
A commercial posted on the Facebook account of Takesabroso, shows Thanos delivering his now-famed deadly snap as he dissolves half of life on Earth. But instead of retreating to a quiet life until the Avengers come back seeking revenge, he is inspired to twerk around delicous tacos and tortas.
Watch the original tweet where this appears before Marvel’s lawyers get on this…
this is a real ad that a real restaurant in mexico made pic.twitter.com/WFCpy4WVcr
— journie (@goingonajournie) August 13, 2019
Via: TaKeSabroso

In an effort to raise funds –and awareness– around breast cancer, Portland is hosting a… Topless Taco Festival where visitors are encouraged to come topless for the tacos and booty short-clad for the burritos.
And no, unfortunately this is not some sort of joke or fake news, but an actual event that is scheduled to take place in Portland on August 17. Why? Because apparently nothing says fight cancer like being naked while eating tacos.
Filing under ONLY IN AMERICA and STUPID PROPOSITIONS.
Via: Facebook
I’m almost certain that the readers of this blog will be able to identify all of these (otherwise, shame on you!). Needless to say, this blogger’s favorites are El subcomandante, the torta and the trompo al pastor.
Still, hit me with questions (i.e. leave a comment below) if:
1) You fail to identify all of these
2) You think there are some missing
Happy World Emoji Day y’all!

Undeterred by the imminent danger posed by life-threatening avocados, non-Mexican hipsters simply refuse to give up their fascination with avo-toast (i.e. pan con aguacate) and other nonsensical avo-related things. So, they have come up with a solution…
I give you the Flexicado, an “avocado slicer” that will fit all sizes of avocados and –hopefully– will put an end to avocado-related injuries.
Filing this under #PinchesHipsters
Hat tip: San Francisco avocado correspondent Jessica Dolcourt