Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
The French might have some of the best wines in the world, but when it comes to packaged cocktails, they are not exactly Le top.
I found the French youth to be particularly fond of Desperados, a tequila, beer, lemon, cactus (yep) concoction that is for sale pretty much everywhere.
I love the French, especially because of this, so I won’t be on their case.
Photo: Laura Martínez, Dijon, France 2015
The owners of the Café Cordial in Paris’ Opera District are very nice people. Not only do they make sure to mumble some English words for the crowds of American visitors who show up there everyday without speaking a word of French; but they even go out of their way to translate their menu not in one but in two languages.
While some of the English translations in their menu is OK (I just said “OK,”) it is clear that they got lost in the [Google] Spanish translation.
Here are some hilarious examples.
BLOGGER’S NOTE: Apologies to the monolingual crowd; this is funny only if you understand both English and Spanish.
There’s the translation for croissant as “1 que crece” (literally: one thing that grows) and toast as “brindis,” as in the toast to happiness….
There are several more yet to be highlighted… Be my guest and find them yourselves, will you? I’m too busy dealing with the country’s Happy Hours.
Photos: Laura Martínez, Paris 2015
Fresh Burritos, a “fine” establishment in the heart of Lille, France, promises (in French) to serve you 100% Fresh Burritos (in English) and will prepare everything in front of your eyes! (yes, with an exclamation point!)
I was tempted for a minute, but then I realized Le menu looks suspiciously similar to any bad Mexican faire á l’américaine: I’m afraid the 4.90 euro combo of La boisson, les patatas, le cookie and le mini burrito will properly give me Le diarrhée.
… And don’t get me started on the non-descript orange sauce-like thing in the background.
So… merci, but non merci!
Photo: Laura Martínez, Lille, France 2015
Buddha, mushrooms, cactai, sombrero…. What could possibly go wrong?
¡Ajúa!
Photo: Laura Martínez, Eressos, Lesvos (2015)
Hat tip: Betti Ortega
So get ready for the newest member of the ATMT (Absurd Taco Madness Trend:) Candy Tacos, a concoction made of a rice krispies shell filled with shredded coconut (the lettuce and cheese), crumbled Oreos (the meat), Mike and Ikes (the tomatoes), and topped with marshmallow fluff (the sour cream).
Why? Because why the hell not.
I mean, regardless its ingredients, this thing doesn’t even look like a real taco… but I guess that’s one of those battles I’ll never be able to win.
Via: Miblogestublog’s Senior Taco Correspondent, Lisa Paravano
Take Italian designer Charlotte Olympia, which is peddling a $1,300 taco purse, a taco-shaped thing “embellished with Swarovski crystals and embroidered silk organza.”
I don’t know you, but $1,300 amounts to about $20,000 Mexican pesos (per today’s exchange rate,) which would be good enough to get you approximately 800 of these.
YES, eight-hundred!
Oh, and don’t get me started on the burrito bag, please.
Sombrero tip: Mi blog es tu blog’s London correspondent
Corporate America is indefatigable.
Despite high-profile, unsuccessful efforts to give my people (i.e. The Hispanics) dedicated “Hispanic stores” with “Hispanic stuff” presumably preferred by “Hispanic people,” big corporations continue to make strides — and waste invest their money — in giving my people their very own Hispanic tiendas.
Take CVS Pharmacy, which says it has converted 11 existing locations and added a brand-new store to launch its “Hispanic-centric store concept.”
And what exactly makes this CVS a Hispanic CVS? Well, I’m glad you asked. According to this WLRN story: “Cafecito, bilingual staff, money transfer services, and an expanded discount fragrance counter,” because unlike regular, non-Hiapanic people, we love to drink coffee and send money abroad while smelling real nice.
Per a CVS press release, the the new stores will carry “more than 1,500 trusted Hispanic products including favorite brands such as Café La Llave, Agustin Reyes, Fabuloso, Suavitel, Creolina and Formula 88.”
Wait. WHAT? What about Hispanic cheese? Hispanic lettuce? Mexican Coke? None of that? Buuuu… 😦
I think I’d stick to my neighborhood’s real Latin Pharmacy, that looks just like this:
![Farmacia Latina [Harlem]](https://miblogestublog.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/farmacialatina.jpg)
As part of its ongoing effort to desecrate Mexican food, Taco Bell says it will roll out systemwide its ridiculously named Quesalupa — melted pepper Jack cheese stuffed into a flaky, crisp shell “that serves as a vehicle for seasoned beef, lettuce, cheddar, reduced-fat sour cream and tomatoes.”
Until recently, “the thing” was limited to Toledo, Ohio, which was totally OK with me, since I don’t have any immediate plans, nor reasons or desire to ever go to Toledo, Ohio.
However, and according to press reports, after a test in 36 Toledo restaurants, the Quesalupa was pronounced “one of the most successful tests in Taco Bell history,” so its going national.
So, thanks a lot, Toledo! You have just ruined my Taco Tuesday.
Via: Restaurante News
Awwww, Cinco de Mayo.
No matter how many bizarre holidays Americans come up with, Cinco de Mayo will forever be my favorite one. And not only because it’s an excuse to drink all day and yell ¡Viva México! while thinking it’s our celebration of Independence (it’s not.) But it is also the time of year that brings out the stupidest most creative marketing brains to sell Americans everything, from DIY printable fiesta kits and taquito shooters (whatever that is,) to senseless drink mixes, “ethnic food” and even life-size cardboard Mexicans as scene setters.
This time around, though, in honor of that amazing marketing took known as Twitter, I’ve put together a few tweets making their way to my timeline.
NOTE: We’re still a full week away from the actual fiesta and this list will be updated in the following days, but let’s get to it right away, shall we?
Use this Printable Fiesta kit for your #CincoDeMayo party & have time left to drink Margaritas http://t.co/rwa4FLhWtX pic.twitter.com/SSQWQliRZx
— paperandcake (@paperandcake) abril 27, 2015
The craziness is such, that even Whole Foods London is jumping on the Cinco de Mayo wagon:
Prepare your party for a flavor-packed offer worthy of any #CincodeMayo celebration. #coupon pic.twitter.com/EKdHf2tsrH
— José Olé Central (@JoseOleCentral) abril 19, 2015
Last but not least, the King of Ruining Mexican Food, Taco Bell, has already announced plans to introduce a new hot sauce on Cinco de Mayo called Diablo. The sauce, says Taco Bell, will only be available for a limited time and it’s made with a variety of peppers, including ají panca, chipotle and chili. Here it is, in all its GIF glory.
Taco Bell’s hottest sauce packet ever. Try it May 5. #Diablo pic.twitter.com/hT6wrUiyuQ
— Taco Bell (@tacobell) abril 22, 2015
I don’t know about you, but at this point in my life, the only Cinco de Mayo thing worth watching is this one.
Photo: Laura Martínez, Manhatitlán 2015.
From this blog’s London correspondent (formerly this blog’s West Coast correspondent) come Britain’s “Cool,” gluten-free Hey Ho to Mexico “tortillas,” which is apparently what the Brits call any corn-based produce that comes packaged in a plastic bag featuring pyramids and sombreros.
These are not your regular [fake] tortillas, mind you, these “bring you a true taste of Mexico,” because as everyone knows, there is only one.
Hat tip: London correspondent: Kent German
Remember that hot Latinas wine?
Well, there’s even a better — or, rather, worse — version of that thing. It is called “Culitos” (literally “Little Assholes”) and I will not be buying it any time soon.
¡Guácala!
Hat tip: @Bathtubmedia
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