Trump Sends Ramos Back to Univision; Ramos not Helping Make America Great Again

trumpRamos

Donald Trump (aka Mexico’s favorite piñata) this evening decided to kick Jorge Ramos out of a press conference, because Ramos wouldn’t sit down nor shut up, which basically means he’s not helping make America great again.

¡Pinche Ramos, pues!

Here’s a Vine from the great Gabe Ortiz

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

 

Yeah, Hispanic Scholarships Sound like a Swell Idea, but Right Now We Need a ‘Delibrero’

delibrero

Attention, New York Hispanics!

The Hispanic Scholarship Fund is offering help to “prepare, plan and pay for your children’s university,” which is, like, great, but let’s be honest: Chances are you’re going to end up in debt anyhow, and your children, cleaning toilets for Donald Trump.

But don’t despair. You might want to call the number above and get yourself a steady job as a “delibrero,” which I can assure you is an activity in high demand — at least in Hispanic Harlem.

Now, if being a “delibrero” is not your thing, you might want to consider this awesome sandwich opportunity, also in Harlem and — naturally — well paid. (NOTE: little to no English required. Yay!)

But hurry! the American Dream might not wait for you forever.

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem, August 2015

This Ad Campaign Features ‘El Trumpo’ under the Threat of Dangerous Latinos

JLOTrump

Miami-based Zubi advertising — which works for clients including Ford, Chase and American Airlines — has been making sure to operate under one simple motto: Erase Stereotypes.

So, in hopes of making the most out of the — still strong — Trump vs. Latinos brouhaha, Zubi has created a hilarious social campaign featuring — who else? — the King of Stereotyping My People (aka El Trumpo.)

VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: Despite my being Mexican and all, I did NOT steal these images. They were graciously offered to me by Zubi’s ECD Iván Calle. So, gracias for avoiding me a trip to the Copyright Infringement Offices. 

He’s not only dangerous; he’s also MEXICAN!

Oscar

Watch out for Colombians. They’re way more dangerous than Columbians

colombian

…And don’t get him started on Mario

Mario

Mexalert! Mexican Converse Spotted in New York City Subway

Ideal for when someone yells '¡Ahí viene la migra!'
Ideal for when someone yells ‘¡Ahí viene la migra!’

In yet another sign that New York City is quickly becoming a subsidiary of Mexico, a paisano was spotted recently in the city subway proudly wearing a pair of Converse All Star Mexican Flag Ajúa Edition.

Want to be as cool as my people but Converse are not your thing? You will want to check out these Nike beauties and — of course — the Cinco de Mayo Adidas.

Photo: @SallyNeiman

Jeb Bush Wants you to Support His Campaign by Buying a $75 ‘Guaca Bowle’

Because 'Jeb and Columba love whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday.'
Because ‘Jeb and Columba love whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday.’

With the hilarious 2016 U.S. presidential campaign around the corner, candidates are going the extra mile to raise the much needed cash to be able to compete against the dumb-but-filthy-rich-candidate-type-people.

Take Newly Converted Hispanic Jeb Bush, who is asking you to pitch in $75 for the Guaca Bowle, a presumably-Made-in-China plasticky looking molcajete that I can find in Mexico City for, like, a fifth of the price.

But why a molcajete, may you ask? Well, because Jeb and wife Columba (not Columbia, nor Colombia) simply “Love whipping up guacamole on Sunday Funday.”

Ay, caramba!

Can someone please start working on a Guaca-Bowl piñata?

Ridley Scott to Make Movie About El Chapo, Of Course

ChapoSimpsons

Well, that was fast.

According to The Internet, Hollywood director Ridley Scott is teaming up with studio giant Fox to produce a novel paralleling the life of escaped Mexican drug lord Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzman.

Details are still sketchy, but Mexican twitteratti are already full of awesome ideas.

The Mexican Flag Flies in Paris, and NOT Because I’m Here

MexicanFlagsinParis

… But because moronic French President François Holland had the “brilliant” idea of inviting Enrique Peña Nieto as guest of honor at the military parade and other ceremonies marking France’s July 14 national holiday.

I don’t know you but I feel like throwing a month-old baguette on the heads of Holland, Peña Nieto, his wife and their 490+ entourage, who landed on this country just to eclipse this blogger’s visit.

Merde!

 

Via: France 24

Univision to Donald Trump: ‘Hasta la Vista, Baby!’

TrumpMexicansWell, that was fast.

Barely five months after Donald Trump announced he was dumping Telemundo to join forces with Univision for the Miss Universe pageant, the Hispanic media giant decided it was just too much to partner with such a bocón.

According to a statement put out by Univision Communications Inc. on Thursday:

Today, the entertainment division of Univision Communications Inc. announced that it is ending the Company’s business relationship with the Miss Universe Organization, which is part-owned by Donald J. Trump, based on his recent, insulting remarks about Mexican immigrants. At Univision, we see first-hand the work ethic, love for family, strong religious values and the important role Mexican immigrants and Mexican-Americans have had and will continue to have in building the future of our country. We will not be airing the Miss USA pageant on July 12th or working on any other projects tied to the Trump Organization.

Americans Can Now Enjoy ‘Xochimilco’ from the Comfort of Cancún

Xochimilco

It is not a secret that Americans love Latin America — especially if they can enjoy an entire continent while avoiding the annoyances and perils of actually going there.

Enter Xochimilco-Cancún, a smaller-scale recreation of the original Xochimilco, the famed floating garden in Mexico City, that caters to Cancún tourists — basically Americans who could not bother to experience the annoyances and perils of actual Mexico City.

By paying a “modest” fee of $80, tourists in Xochimilco-Cancún can ride a trajinera, as mariachis play music alongside and feast on Mexican delicacies and drink beer and tequila like there is no tomorrow — all this from the comfort of Cancún, a Mexican city which looks nothing like Mexico.

¡Oh, yeah!

Jeb Bush Can Tell if Someone Hails from Colombia, Not Columbia; Has Wife Named Columba

Jeb Bush with [tiny] Mexican wife, Columba
Jeb Bush with [tiny] Mexican wife, Columba
It is not a huge secret that Jeb Bush has a pretty decent command of the Spanish language. And now, thanks to the New York Times, we also know he’s also good at guessing the Latin American country where a person is from based on his/her accent.

Per an a March 29, 2015 article:

HUDSON, N.H. — As Jeb Bush mingled with Hispanic workers on a company tour a few weeks ago on his first trip here as an all-but-declared candidate for president, he was able to guess the region in Colombia where one woman was born just from hearing her accent.

He should know better.

While many politicians — and pretty much most “regular Americans”– insist on confusing Colombia with Columbia –and viceversa — something like that would simply be an unforgivable and goofy mistake for a man whose Mexican wife goes by the name of –what else?– Columba.

Editor’s Note: Depending on the success -or not- of Jeb Bush’s campaign for 2016, this blogger will be launching a new category: #ItsColumbaNotColumbia 

This Mexican Astronaut Wants to be President of Mexico. Here’s Why He Should Win

Neri Vela for President!
Rodolfo Neri Vela for President!

Rodolfo Neri Vela is not only the first — and only — Mexican to have flown aboard a NASA Space Shuttle mission in 1985. More importantly he is the guy who gladly accepted to autograph a dirty napkin — upon his return to Earth — after my father told him I was a fan, and was studying high-school in Singapore….

— Singapore???! Neri apparently gasped, according to my dad, which was just awesome coming from a guy who had been somewhere out there, in space, you know, I think farther even than Singapore.

So there, I have a soft spot for the guy, so if he wants to be president of Mexico, I’ll take my ticket ASAP and cast my vote for him. He has no political experience whatsoever, but given the morons running our country these days… how bad can it be?   

Via: Proceso