Category: Marketing & Advertising

Univision and AT&T Present ‘Unlimited Chapo,’ Because Hispanic TV Needs More Stories about Drug Lords

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Unlimited Chapo is brought to you by Univision and AT&T

In yet another sign that Hispanic television is determined to “superserve its audience with relevant programming,” Univision Communications has partnered with AT&T to bring us — are you ready? — El Chapo Ilimitado! (Unlimited Chapo,) a weekly Facebook Live series that “serves as a forum for fans to discuss new episodes of El Chapo, a new crime television series co-produced by Netflix and Univision.

El Chapo Ilimitado (which I’m sure is a wink to AT&T’s unlimited data plans, duh) is hosted by Univision personalities Lourdes Stephen and Carlos Calderón, who show an extraordinary disposition to look cheerful — and fun! — while discussing one of Mexico’s most sanguinary drug dealers every single week.

Per a company press release, this thing is streamed via Facebook Live on Univision’s Facebook page Sunday evenings at 10 p.m. immediately following the premiere of new episodes.

Say what you will, but Hispanic TV will never cease to depress amuse this blogger.

Now if you allow me, I’ll just go shoot myself.

Via: El Chapo Ilimitado

Meet the Unicorn Taco: It Hails from Tijuana, and Proves the End of the World Is Near

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Move over, Unicorn Frapuccino.

My people (i.e. The Mexicans) have concocted the “Gobernador Unicornio Taco,” which can be prepared with shrimp or marlin and can be yours for only a few pesitos at La Cahua del Yeyo, a local seafood restaurant in — where else? — Tijuana.

Now you know.

Let’s all go hang ourselves –or something.

Via: SanDiegoRed.com

 

This Steakhouse Will Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a $100 Margarita, Because Why the Hell not?

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Behold, the $100 margarita

Every single year, for as long as I can remember, American corporations do their best to step up their Cinco de Mayo game by launching one ridiculous thing after the other one. Every. Single. Time.

This year, the contenders for this blog’s Stupidest Cinco de Mayo Marketing Effort Award include Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse, a California eatery that will celebrate the nonsensical, American-made “Mexican holiday” with a $100 margarita.

Sí, señor. One hundred dolaritos for a pinche margarita, which features “premium liquor, including Tequila Herradura Selección Suprema and Grand Marnier Centenaire.”

But wait. How does a mix of Herradura and Grand Marnier justify such a high price? I’m glad you asked!

According to an unnecessarily long press release, the $100 margarita “is served in Baccarat’s uniquely designed Diamant Highball, and guests will be invited to take home the glass in Baccarat’s iconic red box.”

OKAY, then, I guess it all makes sense now.

Kill me now.

Want to Brush up on your Spanish? CamSoda’s Hot Girls and Live Webcams Are here to Help

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Working in tech has its perks, including getting outrageous pitches in your Inbox that will make you go WHAT?!

Enter, Camsoda, a new entertainment/webcam platform that prides itself of being “the first-ever adult language-learning service that combines multilingual cam models and cutting edge translation technology to make learning a new language fun and sensual.”

I am going to spare you the graphic details, but if you’re so inclined in taking up a super sensual language, say Spanish, you can head over here.

Oh, and by the way: What if we, the ladies, want to learn a language too? Where are the hot machos?

WARNING: NSFW

The TriceraTACO Will Keep your Sad-Looking ‘Taco’ in Place

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Hard-shell tacos, not dinosaurs, should be extinct.

Move over, plastic taco-truck. Here comes the TriceraTACO, a machine-washable, plastic dinosaur that will hold your hard-shell disgusting tacos for only $13! Please note that given its shape and size, this thing will only hold those things Americans insist on calling a “taco” and will never be suited for a decent al pastor…

The TriceraTACO is now on sale on — where else? — Amazon.com, home of the Deluxe Mexican Yoga Mat and  the Mexico Will Pay for the Wall jumpsuit.

¡Que viva el nonsense y el marketing!

Hat tip: Verónica Calderón

Sushi Tacos Are the Latest Food Craze, Because some People Want to Watch the World Burn

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What the hell is this?

Not content with ruining everything with the taco-topped pizza, the Quesalupa and the Biscuit Taco, Americans are at it again.

Meet the SUSHI-TACO, the latest food craze that will soon take over your Instagram account.

According to my very reliable sources (i.e. the Internet,) sushi tacos first started popping up on Instagram thanks to Tail and Fin, a restaurant in — where else? — Las Vegas, which is serving up “white rice topped with fish and vegetables and nestled inside a circular seaweed shell.”

But. Wait. A. Second.

Guess what, you dimwits? A “white rice topped with fish and vegetables and nestled inside a circular seaweed shell” is not a taco, it’s just sushi, so stop it already!

Via: Metro.com.uk

 

Budweiser Introduces the Peach-A-Rita, because Lime-A-Ritas and Straw-Ber-Ritas are not Ludicrous Enough

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Person I’ve never heard of Jessie James Decker is the face of Budweiser’s Peach-A-Rita

Oh, no… Budweiser has done it — again.

Not content with having launched a bunch of nonsensical drinks, including the Lime-A-Rita and the Straw-ber-Rita, the “beer” maker has partnered with country singer and clothing designer (aka A Famous Person I’ve Never Heard Of) Jessie James Decker to promote a new, seasonal flavor: Peach-A-Rita.

I have no idea what any of this means, but Decker told AOL.com (which apparently still exists) that Peach-A-Rita “is the perfect drink for the upcoming summer months.” How perfect? Well…

Peach-A-Rita fits my lifestyle […] It’s so easy, I’m always on the go so whenever I have a girls night or get together it’s super easy just to pull it out. No blender required.

Okay, whatevs, Jessie; have fun out there and Happy Cinco de Mayo to you!

Via: AOL.com

¡Pum, pum! NRA Enlists Venezuelan Former Olympic Shooter, so Hispanics Can Love Guns, Too

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The huge power of my people (i.e. “The Hispanics”) is not lost on the National Rifle Association (NRA,) which has enlisted a Venezuelan gun enthusiast as part of its national ad campaign: Freedom Safest Place.

In one commercial, former Olympic pistol-shooter Gabby Franco says: “The government took our guns…the biggest mistake Venezuelans made was believing that this would never happen.” And by “this” she means that as a result Venezuela is suffering record violence under criminals who now outgun unarmed citizens.

According to Fox News Latino, while the NRA will not publicly say it is trying to woo Hispanics, experts say “the NRA views the minority group as a potent force to try and grow its aging membership.”

So… ¡Ajúa!…. ¡Pum, pum! ¡Freedom!

WATCH. CRINGE. DO NOT REPEAT

Via: Fox News Latino

U.S. Post Office Debuts Stamps Featuring Tamales, Sancocho and other Hispanic Delicacies

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The stamps have been designed by artist John Parra

Yo, immigrant haters: I have real bad news for you.

The U.S. Postal Service has confirmed the issuance of a new series of stamps dedicated “to the influence of Central and South American, Mexican and Caribbean foods and flavors on American cuisine,” because, really, if it weren’t for my people (i.e. the Hispanics) you guys would be stuck eating hamburgers and Taco Bell “food.”

So get ready for a smörgåsbord of tamales, flan, empanadas, chiles rellenos, ceviche and sancocho and start licking these suckers!

Via: The Associated Press

Mexico Creates ‘Tequila Cloud’ to Attract German Tourists. Yep.

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This cloud rains tequila, so that more Germans can visit Mexico (or something)

I’m way too busy this week with so-called “real work,” but I just needed to let everybody know that the Mexican government has launched a new tourism campaign that involves a cloud that rains not water but … tequila.

Sí, señor. The campaign — crafted by Lapiz and first demonstrated at a special art exhibit in Berlin — used “ultrasonic humidifiers to vibrate tequila at a frequency that actually turned it into visible mist.” This mist is then condensed into liquid form, which falls as raindrops and basically means you can get your caballito ready, put it under the cloud and drink like there is no mañana. ¡Prost!

The reason behind all this, says the Mexican government, is simple: To tempt rain-soaked Germans to visit sunny Mexico in the dead of winter.

Go figure.

Via: LeoBurnett

No, Twitter, I Don’t Think the ‘Enchilada Bake’ Is a Good Idea

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I cannot unsee this thing!
Someone really wants me to shut down my Twitter account.

For reasons I have yet to understand, my “tailor-made,” “just-for-me” sponsored posts on Twitter have become an endless stream of disgusting “Mexican” concoctions. The latest comes courtesy of SmartMade, a company that prides itself on selling “delicious and nutritional frozen meals inspired by the quality ingredients and smart cooking techniques you use at home.”

I don’t know about you, but there is nothing smart in the so-called Bake Enchilada, a “meal” made of a “soft corn tortilla topped with black beans, roasted corn, red peppers and tomatoes lightly tossed in an enchilada sauce and topped with Monterey jack cheese.”

Oh, and don’t get me started on the Mexican style pulled pork…

So, there’s that, Twitter, not only I will not be clicking on that thing. I think an apology might be in order.

USA vs. Mexico: Who Is Sending their ‘Best’ elsewhere?

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Spring breakers chant ‘Build the Wall’ in Mexico

So much for the Mexican “journalist” who stole Tom Brady’s jersey, got caught and embarrassed an entire nation (this blogger included.)

I would like to turn our attention to this group of young Americans who went to Cancún, got drunk and yelled Build-The-Wall!, Build the Wall! repeatedly… while in — well — Mexico.*

OK, I get your rage, but before you go and vow to kill them all, I’d like for all of us to take a moment and realize that both — Mexico and the U.S. — have our share of morons, starting with the ones leading our respective nations, so really, can anyone blame us for being so obtuse?

I get the rage about the spring breakers, really, but before you go all crazy about them, go read this; then remember the 43 of Ayotzinapa; the blatant violations of human rights in Mexico and the dozens of filthy rich politicians who have vanished in thin air…. Then take a deep breath and maybe you’ll understand. We are all fucked, no matter which side of the border we live in.

Shame on us, really. All of us.

*OK, this happened in Cancún, which is arguably not Mexico anymore, but still…  

Via: SFGate.com

‘Beauty and the Beast’ Mariachi Version, Because Why Not?

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La bella y la bestia con trenzas y trompetas
It was bound to happen.

A mariachi version remake of the famous ballroom scene in Beauty and the Beast quickly became a viral hit, because apparently there is nothing Hispanics love more than seeing their favorite mainstream characters recreated á la mexicana.

The video was first posted by Mitu:

Via: CNET en Español

Mexicans in this Disney-Pixar Trailer Sound a lot like Spaniards

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With much fanfare, Disney-Pixar on Wednesday released the first teaser trailer of Coco, an upcoming animated film about “a 12-year-old aspiring Mexican musician, who embarks on a magical trip in the Land of the Dead.”

While many of the voices in the English-language movie will be done by Mexicans or Mexican American actors (including Gael García Bernal, Anthony Gonzalez and Benjamin Bratt) I couldn’t help but cringe at this other “Spanish” version I found on the Web, one apparently hailing from Spain, which makes all these Mexicans sound a lot like coming out of a Marisol movie.

Coco will hit theaters on November 22, 2017 and you’ll be well advised to watch the English-language trailer in this link and NOT the one below.