Latino film lovers brace yourselves! The Walt Disney Co. next year will bring you South of the Border, featuring, among many others, Salma Hayek, Andy García, Cheech Marin, Plácido Domingo, Edward James Olmos and even Univision radio personality Eddie “El Piolín” Sotelo.

But don’t expect anything too politically or socially charged. According to IMDB, the plot of South of the Border, currently in pre-production, can be resumed as follows: “While on vacation in Mexico, Chloe, a ritzy Beverly Hills chihuahua, finds herself lost and in need of assistance in order to get back home.”

Alas, none of the Latino luminaries mentioned above will be giving voice to the main character. The job, says The Hollywood Reporter has already been given to Drew Barrymore.

Ay Chihuahua!

Can you tell the difference between these two bottles?

It took me a while, actually. But it turns out the Chinese are producing -and exporting- Cerono beer, which looks and feels exactly like Grupo Modelo’s Corona beer. (Of course, the real one is quite tasteless but that’s not the point here).

Mexican anti-piracy authorities are fuming over Beijing-based Beijing Cerono Trade Limited Company, which last year sold more than one million cases of Cerono worldwide.

The problem does not stop there. The Chinese apparently have also come up with their own brand of “tequila” called Platinum Tequila Infusión, which is also being exported to the United States with the label “Made in Mexico.”

You might not care to hear about this, but Daniel Borrego, a 27-year-old Mexican this week was crowned the first-ever X-box 360 Pac-Man World Champion.

The Pachuca, Hidalgo native beat nine other finalists during a tournament held Tuesday in New York City. Competing in a final round, Borrego scored 222,160 points vs. 177,730 of Austrian gamer Robert Glashuettner.

The prize? a one-of-a-kind Pac-Man-inspired Xbox 360, with which he can keep improving his gaming skills.

Well, what else can you wish for when living in the Bella Airosa?

And speaking of dull beauty … the girls from Rebelde yesterday announced the launch of their Barbie-like dolls.

Thanks to Mattel Inc. and Grupo Televisa, the “teens” featured in Rebelde and RBD (the novela and music ensamble) will now be immortalized in the form of three Barbie dolls: Mia, Roberta and Lupita, each dressed in their signature school uniform consisting of a blazer, a tie and a not-very-long denim skirt.

But don’t be fooled by the frivolous image of the ladies. During a brief press conference yesterday in Mexico City, Anaí told attendees the dolls by no means try to portray a specific image of how a girl should look like.

“What really matters is what’s inside,” she said.

Yeah, right!

Marketers are a funny bunch.

In their relentless quest for pushing their brands among consumers, they commission studies, embrace research and conduct opinion polls seeking to find the “ultimate” consumer insight. And nowhere is this more evident –and ridiculous– than in Hispanic marketing.

Take the latest effort by Coor’s. It turns out, says the beer maker, Hispanics beer drinkers value “cold” much more than any other consumer group. The reason? “The majority of Latinos come from countries or were born in areas of the U.S. with warmer temperatures and longer summers,” said the company in a press release.

So, armed with such precious knowledge, Coor’s this week announced the launch of its “cold-activated label” which helps “ensure that every Coors Light bottle provides the cold refreshment that Hispanic consumers crave.” The label features mountains in a Thermochromatic ink that turn blue when the beer has been chilled to about 42 degrees Fahrenheit or lower for ice cold refreshment.

I come from a place that makes some of the world’s best beer, so I only have one thing to say: wouldn’t it be better for Coor’s to focus on making a better product? Leave the chilling-to-perfection task up to us!

Mexicans tell an average of four lies each day.

That is, in a nutshell, the conclusion of the most recent public opinion poll by Consulta Mitofsky, one of Mexico’s most prominent poll and research companies. The study, aptly named “La mentira cotidiana: una aceptada costumbre” (Our Daily Lie: An Accepted Custom) concludes Mexican men lie 4.2 times each day, while women “only” lie three times each day.

The reason? both men and women said they lie out of “dire need,” “to avoid problems,” or simply “for fun.” Of those who acknowledged telling lies, almost 62% said they lie to their friends; 34.9% to their partners; 33.1% to their colleagues; 24.3% to their bosses and 23.8% to their parents.

The survey, which took place in late January among 1,000 Mexican adults, has a margin of error of 1.8% … but what Mitofsky doesn’t say is: were they telling the truth?

Haim Saban, who this year led a consortium to buy Univision Communications for over $12 billion, is also on a personal quest to put Hillary Clinton in the White House. And while raising money for Clinton’s campaign seems to be on his priority list, he’s shedding some superfluous -if more glamorous- investments. Today, Mr. Saban announced he has put his $12 million estate in Acapulco up for sale.

According to an amusing press release put out today by the real estate company in charge of the sale, Villa Edén is a three-acre gated compound has 12 bedrooms plus five servants’ rooms, 17 bathrooms, indoor and outdoor tennis courts, two pools, five massage rooms and a wine cellar. (Five servant rooms? How many servants can you accommodate in there?)

Villa Edén was previously owned by Time Warner Inc., which used it for years to entertain clients and movie stars. According to the news release, it has housed Mel Gibson, Barbra Streisand and Kevin Costner, among others.

After a three-day smorgasbord of upfront presentations and alcohol-fueled after parties, Thursday night brought a relief from those frivolous, nearly meaningless, social events: it was the formal launch of Diageo’s Estamos Unidos con un Propósito campaign, now in its second year.

At hand was Univision’s leading lady Cristina Saralegui, who has been appointed the celebrity behind the effort, this year aimed at helping Latinos buy their own home. During a brief but sweet speech in a mix of English and Spanish, Mrs. Saralegui said Diageo has donated $500,000 to the campaign since its inception two years ago.

The good cause at the heart of the event didn’t mean attendees were not treated for a special evening: After all, Diageo is the sponsor of the campaign, which meant there was whiskey and tequila aplenty.

Even Cristina got her own special gift: a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label, with at $199.99 the company calls its “rarest blend.” (Why is it that the people with the big pockets always get the most expensive gifts?)

The rest of the mortals didn’t do bad ourselves, especially Mexicans with a palate for good tequila: Diageo also handles the Don Julio and Cuervo Traditional brands. Alas, not many chismes or juicy gossip to report this time. People seemed too tired and hung-over to misbehave, including this blogger.

Lots of beautiful -and some not-so-beautiful- people gathered last night at the Splashlight Studios in Manhattan for the annual star extravaganza also known as the “People en Español” party.

This blogger had a few too many to remember (or maybe she choses not to remember), the bad and the ugly so let’s highlight some of the good.

-The party could also have been called “The City’s Most Beautiful Bartenders.”

-Jackie, como siempre, looked ravishing! This time in a sexy red dress, and with visibly less pounds than a couple of weeks ago.

-Oswald Mendez introduced this blogger to the “hottest ass in Hispanic advertising” (and It’s not who you think)

-This blogger made it home in one piece (barely) and woke up to some good -and serious- news: According to the latest data from the U.S. Census,the nation’s minority population reached 100.7 million, with Hispanics still the largest group, with 44.3 million.

OK, maybe not all the 44.3 million are beautiful … but algo es algo!

Oh, and by the way; a preliminary agreement was reached among senators from both parties, leaving the doors opened to an immigration reform. Want more? Wolfowitz has finally resigned his post at the World Bank. Such good things happened while we were all too busy partying! (Still waiting on Gonzales, though)