The Mexican ‘Jersey Shore’ Looks Stupider than the Regular ‘Jersey Shore’

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'Acapulco Shore' is scheduled to debut in September 2014.
‘Acapulco Shore’ is scheduled to debut in September 2014.

I thought it was going to be a while until I had to post something about silly Mexican spin-offs, but it looks like TV producers and creatives never stop, well, creating.

On the heels of Gossip Girl Acapulco, comes Acapulco Shore, a Mexican version of -yes, you guessed it- Jersey Shore.

Per an MTV Latin America press release:

“Produced exclusively in Mexico, the series will be filmed in and around the city of Acapulco, capturing the staple moments of the franchise including over-the-top arguments, undefined love triangles and outrageous antics in the sun-kissed city.”

Alas, it looks like the reality series -which I’m sure will star a bunch of blond, blue-eyed Mexicans with sculptural bodies- will feature no vigilante autodefensas, corrupt politicians, guerrilla fighters, or dangerous drug lords that seem to have taken over the state of Guerrero, home of the aforementioned sun-kissed city.

I guess producers are kind enough to spare us the bad news, so that we have time to focus on “undefined love triangles and outrageous antics.” Hell, yeah!

Acapulco Shore is scheduled to debut in September 2014.

Oscar Mayer Courts Latinos With -What Else?- an Abuela

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LolaEmbarazada

From Oscar Mayer, the company that brought us the disgusting sausage flasher, now comes Lola: The Abuela Who Tells it Like it is, a Facebook fan page featuring a bilingual, annoying abuela that has managed to amass almost 18,000 likes.

When she is not peddling recipes based on Oscar Mayer products, Lola spends her time sharing advice on family gatherings, laundry, married life and other mundane things while speaking her mind and saying things as they are “wether we like them or not.” She even takes the time to give us Spanish lessons -in English- and at least as far as I could see, she has better grammar than the Procter & Gamble abuela.

I don’t know you, but I can only imagine the meeting behind Lola’s creation:

Creative # 1: Let’s create an abuela to share recipes and stuff online, ’cause Latinos are online and love their abuelas and food and stuff…  

Creative # 2: Yeah, but you know, Latinos are going to go up in arms because of the tired, abuela cliché, etc. You know how they are (I’m looking at you, @miblogestublog)

Creative # 1: Oh, I get it! Let’s make her fun and irreverent. That’ll do it.

Done. Budget approved.

Honestly, between these two, I kind of prefer the flasher (At least he did not try to be funny, nor show his face, only his cold cuts.)

Hat tip: Julio Varela

California Wants Kids to go Out to ‘Juagar’ -or Something

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Juaga

It is always a good thing when U.S. organizations take the time to embrace other cultures -and languages. But, here’s a piece of advice: If you are a children’s museum seeking to encourage children to play and explore in English -and Spanish- you will be well advised to use proper Spanish translations and -ding!- do it right.

Now, you probably don’t have tons of money to hire someone awesome like, ahem, myself, but heck! at least you can use Google Translate. See below. It works!

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So in a nutshell: Don’t be freaking lazy; do your job properly or stop “juagando” with my people.

UNLESS, of course, you meant to say “JuanGa” in which case I’m in and I wan to play!

Hat tip: Begoña Lozano, purveyor of awesome postings.

CW to Premiere Venezuelan Drama About a Religious Girl Who Gets ‘Accidentally Inseminated’

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JuanaLaVirgen

The crave for Latin American dramas is about to reach new heights, as CW on October will debut an English-language adaptation of Juana la Virgen, a Venezuelan novela about a “very religious girl” who ends up being artificially inseminated… accidentally, of course.

The adaptation, which was first reported by Deadline.com, has some powerful backers, including Ben Silverman, the guy behind Ugly Betty and Jennie Snyder Urman, creator of Emily Owens, MD.

I’m not sure how the story will play down in English, but at least in Spanish -and judging from the following episode- Juana’s “virginity” doesn’t seem to hold much water.

Thursday is National Tequila Day, and Some Flak Wants me to Drink Jenni Rivera Tequila

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JenniRiveraTequila
As if living in the U.S. weren’t hard enough, one has to keep track of all these national food and drink holidays, which are a lot, believe me. There’s National Vodka and Taco Day; National Tortilla Chip Day and even National Paella Day.

And while I have missed a few of these very important celebrations, I intend to celebrate in full the upcoming National Tequila Day, which will take place July 24.

But I will not be celebrating with just any tequila. Per the advice of a flak PR executive, the best way to celebrate is by opening a bottle of Jenni Rivera La Gran Señora Tequila (whose existence had also eluded me) and mix a “super terrific drink…” How about a spicy cucumber margarita?

I don’t know about you, but since I’m very receptive to PR pitches and PR people, I’ll be starting my test right away. Why wait until the 24th?

¡Salud!

FTC Launches ‘Fotonovela’ to Warn Hispanics Against Government Impostors

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fotonovela-impostores-de-gobierno-veaIn an effort to raise awareness of scams targeting the Latino community, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has launched Impostores del Gobierno, its first fotonovela -or illustrated novel.

Impostores del Gobierno follows
the story of Sonia, a young woman who responds to a call from a man claiming to be government -and convinces her to send money. Sonia is seeing falling prey of the scam while going about the regular activities of a Latino woman, namely buying Latino food at a Latino food merchant.

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The FTC says the story is based on actual complaints received by the FTC and offers practical advice on what to say when a call, text message or email from a fake government received.

Via: FTC.gov en español

 

Telemundo’s Adaptation of ‘Les Miserables’ Features ‘La Chule’ as Jean Valjean

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Aracely Arámbula will play the role of Lucía Durán in Telemundo's 'Les Miserables'
Aracely Arámbula will play the role of Lucía Durán in Telemundo’s ‘Les Miserables’

You can say anything about Hispanic TV networks, but they are a quite inventive bunch when it comes to Spanish-language adaptations of world-renowned dramas.

Take Telemundo, which has kicked off production of its own version of Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, considered one of the greatest novels of the 19th Century. But instead of an old, boring male Jean Valjan, the role of the protagonist -who served a prison sentence for stealing a loaf of bread- will be played by none other than Aracely Arámbula, aka “La Chule” or the stunningly-blond-Mexican-mother-of-Luis-Miguel-children.

According to the Houston Chronicle, Telemundo’s upcoming telenovela is a “strange and free” adaptation of Victor Hugo’s 1862 novel, taking the adaptation all the way to the present time in a Texas town.

I’m all up for free adaptations. I mean, wouldn’t you rather see La Chule and her well-known cleavages instead of the always pathetically sad mug of Valjean? [right]

Duh.

jeanValjean
Yeah, I’d rather see Arámbula -and her cleavage- than this fellow.

Mexico First Lady not Regal, nor Maternal: ‘Washington Post’

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UPDATE: This story has been updated to add a video of Mexico First Lady speaking -in depth- about her butt and her method to decrease the horniness.

There is already talk of “controversy” around the July 2014 issue of Marie Claire Mexico and Latin American magazine, featuring Mexico’s first lady Angélica Rivera Peña alongside daughter Sofía Castro.

According to Robin Givhan, of The Washington Post, Rivera’s pose is not only “startling,” “provocative,” and “sexy,” but it clearly contrasts with contained images of U.S. first ladies, who tend to be more “regal” and/or “maternal” and pose in a way that they deny their own bodies.

Per Givhan piece:

“For an American woman who steps into the role of first lady, the body must be denied. It can’t be too exposed. Too strong.  Too overtly sexual. Beauty is acceptable — even expected. But that most intimate expression of self — sex appeal, sexuality — is off limits.” 

I totally agree, but calling Rivera un-regal, un-maternal purely based on the Marie Claire photo shoot, is not historically correct. The Washington Post -and all the other media that I’m sure will follow suit- would be well advised to look at other, more accurate portrayals of our our telenovela-actress-turned-first-lady.

You know… those from the time when we simply knew her as La Gaviota and she was more into bikinis than politics.

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