Mexico President Asks Spain to Apologize for the Conquest; Hilarity Ensues

SPOILER ALERT: The information contained in this post does not hail from The Onion. This actually happened. In real life. In Mexico.

So… Mexican president Andrés Manuel López Obrador (aka AMLO) wrote a letter to Spanish King Felipe VI and Pope Francis urging them to apologize for the “abuses” of colonialism and the conquest, which took place, like, a very long long time ago.

In a video filmed at the ruins of the indigenous city of Comalcalco, in southern Mexico, [AMLO] called on Spain and the Vatican to recognize the rights violations committed during the conquest of Mexico.

Sooner than you can say NO MAMES Mexican Twitter reacted and the reaction was –naturally– hilarious.

Spain responds

Mexico, once we get our apology

Yeah, it’s going to be great!

Ja Ja Ja Ja

More Ja Ja Ja

Retaliation

The only apology Mexico needs

Penélope Cruz to Peddle non-Alcoholic Beer — for Women, you Know?

Oh, how I miss the days when Penélope Cruz drank Coke and belched like the guys.

Alas, in this modern, politically-correct times we live, the gorgeous-but-married-mother-of -small-children wants us to drink… non-alcoholic beer, because she’s a lady, you know? and beer is, like, for the dudes.

The following is an ad apparently airing now on Polish television, though several reports say Karmi, the beer for ladies, is making its way to Spain — and beyond.

What a great time to be alive…. NOT.

Via: El Español

‘El Risitas’ is Back to Explain Apple’s Obsession with Dongles

Spain’s treasure Juan Joya Borjas (aka El Risitas) jumped to geek fame a year ago when he “helped explain” the truth behind the design of the 2015 MacBook.

One year later… El Risitas is back, this time with a beautifully crafted explanation of how dongles came to be and how we’ll all be miserable as we step into Apple’s dongle hell.

WARNING: Chances are you will die of laughter.

Google Translate Welcomes you to the ‘Clitoris Festival’

Certainly NOT clitoris
Certainly NOT clitoris

Well, this was awkward.

Officials in the small Galician town of As Pontes wanted to invite Spanish-speakers to a festival celebrating one of its culinary traditions, the grelo or rapini (aka as broccoli rabe.)

But, since apparently nobody in the 11,000-town spoke any Spanish, festival organizers turned to Google Translate.

The result?

The town’s “Feria do grelo” or rapini festival – held every year with tastings and awards for the best grelos – became “Feria clítoris” in Spanish.

“The translated announcement read: The clitoris is one of the typical products of Galician cuisine. Since 1981 … the festival has made the clitoris one of the star products of its local gastronomy.”

 

 

Excuse me?

Wow. Who thought Galicia could be so much fun?

Via: The Guardian

Spaniards, Too, Can Look Ethnic This Halloween

Well, turns out it’s not only Americans who like to go a litle ethnic when it comes to celebrate Halloween.

Palma de Mallorca, Spain-based Turbo Hobby is promoting a new line of “ethnic” costumes, which include the “Disfraz de mexicano” (Mexican costume) featuring a pink, flowery poncho and some kind of Andaluz-looking hat that I didn’t know was Mexican.

Turbo Hobby’s Disfraz de mexicano comes in adult and child sizes and can be yours for only 14.95 euros.

Chances are you won’t look as cute as the guy in the picture here, but it is very likely that some members of your same gender will express their desire to sneak under your poncho…

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Amaia Salamanca Wants You to Get Wet this Summer

Mojate

It’s been only a few days since I’ve arrived in Spain, and the summer is in full swing, with Spaniards already preparing for their two-month beach extravaganza (financial crisis or not.)

And with the summer and the heat comes the sexy and the daring, including this TV spot featuring the spectacular Amaia Salamanca, best known for her role as Catalina Marcos in the Spanish version of Colombian hit series Sin tetas no hay paraíso.

Watch Amaia as she invites you to get wet, and enjoy the thrills of summer with a Spanish accent (and a tampon safely secured inside.)

Michelle and Sasha Obama Had Sunday Lunch in Spain… And it Was Much Nicer than Yours

"Oh, what a wonderful brown little person we have here!"

OK, so if you thought your weekend sucked, consider this: While you and I were enjoying our typical Sunday breakfast, two beautiful Obama girls were having a delightful Sunday lunch with none other than the mismísimo King of Spain -and wife.

According to AP:

Lunch was Andalusian-style chilled gazpacho soup, chargrilled turbot, veal escalopes with mustard, Oriental rice with sauteed mushrooms, a Mallorca-style vegetable ratatouille and sliced fruit with ice cream, accompanied by wines from the northern regions of Rueda and Rioja.”

“Chargrilled turbot” AND “Andalusian-style chilled gazpacho”? Gee! Next time you feel like boasting about your Sunday brunch… Please, pause a little and show some respect … digo, unless you tell me you actually had all that fancy shit for brunch. I mean, come on!

The New Whopper is a Sandwich Filled with Cajun Sauce, Frijoles and Plenty of Stereotypes

texicanwhopper

What happens when you merge a tall, good-looking Texan man with a stocky, chubby  guy wrapped in the Mexican flag and wearing a wrestling mask? 

Answer: you get a Burger King Texican Whopper, yet another “delicious” creation from the hamburger chain.

The print ad hails from Spain, and it pitches the new Texican Whopper, an impossible fusion of cajun sauce, cheddar cheese, meat taco and beans (!) The tagline, Unidos por el destino, means “Brought together by destiny.”

My sources tell me that Mexico’s ambassador to Spain, Jorge Zermeño, has already asked Burger King to take down the ad and apologize –apparently because it offends our already decimated flag, and not our cuisine.

But wait! there’s more: the Texican is also a hit in England and has its own TV spot: