Bodegas are a National Treasure; Just Don’t Ask the Owner for the Bathroom Key

It is no secret that bodegas are a wonder of sorts. No matter the time of day you will surely find all your basics. Late night-condoms? a Guadalupe Virgin candle? Emergency tampons? Terrible coffee? …. The bodeguero has your back.

Oh, but try not asking him to use the bathroom, unless you want to unleash a series of… hilarious musical events.

WATCH Saturday Nights’ Live (March 2, 2019 episode)

The Wait is Over: ‘Telenovela’ Premieres December 7 on NBC

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Eva Longoria (aka La Prieta Faya and this blogger’s favorite retroacculturated Latina) is like super excited, because NBC on Monday Dec. 7 will premiere Telenovela, a 13-episode comedy that promises a lot of drama along with “passion, betrayal and raw sexuality.”

As this blog reported earlier, the show tells the story of a telenovela star who doesn’t speak Spanish, which is just perfect, since we all know Ms. Longoria is not particularly fluent in the language of Cervantes.

I will watch at least the first episode of this thing (for research purposes, you know?). But I still think it’s a pity NBC didn’t cast Erick Estrada as her co-star in Telenovela. After all Mr. Estrada is the only actual telenovela actor who was able to get away with making an entire telenovela despite his very poor command of Spanish.

See? This is what NBC viewers will be missing.

Spanish-Dubbed Chinese Telenovelas Are Way Better than Regular Telenovelas

EsposaValiente

This is a story of love, passion and betrayal, but its main protagonists do not boast names like Camila Valentina, or Eduardo Alberto Manuel.

Meet Xie An Zhen and Wen Rui Fan, the protagonists of Esposa valiente (Xi Li Ren Qi in Chinese, or The Fierce Wife) a nightly telenovela airing nightly on Spanish-language KJLA-TV channel 57 in Los Angeles.

The story might sound familiar to any drama lover: Xie An Zhen is happily married with one daughter until her husband cheats on her with her cousin, and “the ensuing divorce becomes a battle of love and wits.” But Esposa valiente is not your typical telenovela. It is, in fact, part of an initiative by the Taiwanese government to promote Taiwanese culture in the U.S.

“If we talk about politics every day, nobody will listen,” Steve Hsia, director-general of the Taipei Economic and Cultural Office in Los Angeles, told the Los Angeles Times. “If we can shorten the distance between Taiwan and other nations through culture, that’s helpful.”

I’m not sure if this thing is going to shorten the distance between Latinos and Taiwan, but the story looks juicy enough for this blogger to go get hooked. Oh, and the dubbing makes it particularly awesome!

Via: Los Angeles Times

Estrella TV Premieres Show Featuring Rich, Desperate Latinas

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Latina, Rica, Famosa is Estrella TV’s answer to the Real Housewives franchise, except this new reality show features five “beautiful, successful Latinas that invite you all the way to their living room -and bedroom- to see what they are really made of.”

I must confess I have not seen this thing, but judging from the promo -below- and other Spanish-language TV spinoffs out there, including this and this, I think I will pass.

There’s already too much desperation in my own, real, Latin life…

Lucy? Betty?… No, Says MundoFox, ¡Es Lutty!

When MundoFox executives took up the stage Wednesday afternoon to unveil programming initiatives, they knew the audience had had enough:

My department did a little research, and it concluded that -by now- you have been exposed to about 320,000 hours of upfront presentations,” joked Tom Maney, the svp of advertising sales at Fox Hispanic Media. Damn, right, Tom, I’m not sure it was exactly 320,000 hours, but it certainly felt like it.

In any case, I’m happy to report the folks over at MundoFox spared us a Hollywood sign stunt. Instead, they introduced the audience to the new reality in programming embraced by Latinos; one that mixes the two worlds -and languages- in which we move around. Thus, Lucy/Betty/Betty/Lucy… ES-LUTTY!*

*NOTE: Not to be pronounced as ‘slutty.’ Thank you for your cooperation.

Univision CEO Joe Uva Leaves Post to ‘Be Able to Seek Other Opportunities,’ Namely Unemployment

Univision CEO Joe Uva has left the company to “be able to seek other opportunities,” Univision announced today.

But what’s really weird is that they don’t want to tell me where the hell it is that he is going, and rumor has it that he might have gotten the boot. His last day is April 2.

I don’t know you guys but I feel a bit sorry for the guy. After all those years of tireless work and efforts, he didn’t even have time to master his Spanish… But he shouldn’t worry too much. Judging from his stellar appearance as a piragüero in one scene of the hit Brodway show In the Heights, I’m sure he’ll be able to find a gig in the barrio.

His specialty? Piraguas de Uva!

Buena suerte, Mr. Uva. I’ll look you up among my neighborhood’s piragüeros.