Today is Black Friday, the day Americans would go out of their way to buy stuff they don’t need, lured by the promise of paying less for said stuff. I’ve always hated this so-called holiday, which pops up on my Apple Calendar (for some reason) mostly because the only thing I like to buy in life (food & alcohol) is pretty much never on sale.
This is why I’ve always been so fond of the dude in this pic (above.) I bet he works his butt off year round (Black Friday included) making sure his product moves by luring customers to the wonderful world of chicharrones on discount.
I don’t know about you, but when I think of Disney, I think of a ton of things before thinking Mexican sweet bread. But the house of Mickey Mouse is proudly peddling the $30 Minnie Mouse Concha Ears, which can be found –where else?– inside the Mexico Pavillion at Plaza de los Amigos.
The Concha Ears are apparently very popular among little Mexicans, because of the whole be-proud-of-where-you-come-from-thing. Alas, on closer inspection, these so-called conchas have been assembled in China –as pretty much anything we consume these days.
American Latinos United (ALU), a SuperPAC created with the sole purpose of defeating president Trump by activating Latino voters in key battleground states, has launched its first TV commercial, a sad reminder of the lessons being taught these days to our children –Latino or otherwise.
A joint effort by former Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and entrepreneur Fernando Espuelas, ALU’s sole strategic goal is “to decrease President Trump’s share of the Hispanic electorate by a small percentage change that would thereby deny him an Electoral College win and re-election to a second term.”
While the elections are still a few months away, ALU’s commercial is a sad (and timely) reminder that what we have right now in the White House can’t be good for children and adults alike, regardless our ethnic background.
Warren, who will be occasionally referred to by this blogger as “La Guarren” has spiced up her fundraising campaign Website with what she believes is copy in Spanish.
In addition to a phrase that makes no sense whatsoever (En realidad, no estoy en, y he aquí por qué,) la Guarren thinks “Cuestiones” is Spanish for Questions…. (oh an don’t get me started on the “los” vs. “las” disaster.)
I’m pretty sure that among the 50 plus million Hispanics that have “invaded” this great country, politicians can find at least one person who can properly write copy in Spanish (ahem, ahem.)
Get your act together, people, I’ll be watching!
Last but not least: This blog’s 2020 US Presidential Campaign and Hispandering tags are officially open. So yay!
I hope by now you are aware that Cinco de Mayo is NOT Mexico’s Independence Day. Sixteen of September is, and the bash actually kicks off on the night of the 15, so by the time the 16 actually arrives, everybody is just too drunk to remember anything.
I might be a gringa now, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still a Mexican, so I decided to put together a quick list of the Five Things you Must Do to Celebrate El Grito in this increasingly globalized country.
1. Buy a Made-in-China Mexican flag
2. Go to your nearest Walmart and stock up on the cheapest non-Agave Tequila. (The real thing is too expensive for the average Mexican, and its production is already exclusive for exporting to gringos.)
3. Tell your wife you want your pozole spicy, even if she cannot afford to buy meat anymore.
4. Tune in the Canal de las Estrellas to witness our pathetic president yell ¡Viva México! repeatedly
5. Yell ¡Viva México! — repeatedly — right after our pathetic president. Hopefully by this time you’ll be too wasted on the fake-Tequila methanol to feel any shame.
Repeat as many times necessary until you feel a true patriotic fervor.
¡Viva México! ¡Viva México! ¡Viva México!
If anything else fails, go get a Texican Whopper or a Quesalupa. See you on the 16th as everyone will be most likely be puking somewhere.
Next time you go to a Starbucks and order a venti, tall, mocha, latte, foamy frapuccino (or whatever the hell it is they call a coffee over there) make sure to leave some room for … racism.
In the latest episode involving the coffee chain and a non-white person, a Latino customer says that when he received his drink, it came with the word BEANER written on it –even though he clearly told them his name was Pedro, which apparently is synonym of “Mexican.”
I’m not entirely sure why, but these type of “incidents” are happening more and more frequently in this melting pot we call America. Perhaps it’s just part of the whole process of making it GREAT AGAIN. 🤔
Not content with giving us the cronut and the biscuit taco, America is at it again, this time with the “Tacro,” a mashup of a –yes, you guessed it– taco and a croissant that apparently is already selling like hot-cakes. The pastry (which is exactly what it sounds like) regularly sells out at Mr. Holmes Bakehouse just north of the Tenderloin.
According to the always relevant Yahoo.com, the tacro costs $12 and can be found at Vive La Tarte, a San Francisco eatery which has been experimenting with “unique croissant flavors” like blood orange and lemon meringue.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. Every day we stray further from the truth.
If you freaked out when you read the news about Taco Bell’s chocolate-flavored pubic lice, you’ll definitely want to hear about the chain’s next outrageous proposition:
Introducing The California Loaded Fries Burrito, a burrito stuffed with –yes, you guessed it!– french fries and other things, including ground “beef” as the protein of choice, nacho cheese and sour cream.
According to multiple sources, these abominations cost $1.99 apiece and –thankfully– can only be found as a test item at locations in Charleston, West Virginia.
I’m so sorry for you, West Virginians. We’ll keep you in my prayers.
Taco Bell’s Friendsgiving menu is so ridiculous, it’s actually funny. Among my faves: The turkeritos; the pumpkin spice caramel apple empanadas; the chocolate churros with chile ancho and –of course– the butternut squash chalupa bites.
Fortunately for ALL of us, Taco Bell’s annual Friendsgiving meal was only available last week and it was only for VIP’s at the company’s headquarters.
Not content with giving us National Taco *and* Vodka Day, National Guacamole Day, Cinco de Mayo and all those wonderful faux culinary celebrations, a California brand of canned “Mexican food” informs me we’re in the midst of National Menudo Month.
Speaking of awesome Cinco de Mayo marketing ideas, a bar in California decided it was a great idea to celebrate the faux Mexican holiday by offering … fake green cards to drunken patrons willing to climb an inflatable border wall.
According to the always reliable Gustavo Arellano, Hennessey’s Tavern, in Dana Point, California thought it was idea to build a “wall” and offer patrons willing to climb it a “green card,” which would not actually grant them legal status, but get them a free drink, because nothing says “fun” as drunken gringos wearing sombreros and climb walls, you know?
It looks like the promotion — and several videos associated with the stunt — have all been deleted from the bar’s Instagram account, and the establishment in question has since apologized. But, hey, haven’t these people heard about screenshots *and* pesky bloggers?