Category: Food

Dear Americans: Please Take Note, and Hold Down the Fort While I Go on Vacation, Will Ya?

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The Real Mexican Food Manifesto

Dear Readers:

I know Twitter, Facebook, Instagram et al have been stealing time and energy from this blogger and I have not been able to keep my promise of posting something here everyday as I used to in the dial-up AOL.com, pre-Zuckerberg era.

And now, as if all that weren’t tragic enough, I’ve decided to embark on a late, long vacation in an undisclosed location (check out my Instagram account if you’re REALLY dying to know where I’ll be,) so I won’t be able to update this thing as often as I would like.

That said, I am reaching out to you TODAY to ask for your help in spreading the above manifesto, which will help restore the sacredness of the food from my homeland, and hopefully contravene the terrible transgressions it has endured throughout these years.

I trust you will read –and memorize– the above manifesto and help this blogger put a stop to the nonsense of spreading shredded cheddar on top of stuff and/or mistaking a burrito for a quesadilla or –worse– a corn tortilla for a flour one.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and think of me every time you find an authentic enchilada. 🙏🏻

 

Is this Mexican Taquería Peddling Vegan Tacos or Guacamole with no Green Peas? 🤔

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Taco Inn, one of Mexico City’s many ubiquitous taquerías, has jumped on the vegan bandwagon with what looks to be meat-looking meatless tacos.

A promo image posted recently by a Twitter user looks to promote a set of vegan tacos for $99 pesos with the legend: sINN chIcharoNN  (obviously playing with the taquería’s name (Inn) to spell out the phrase without pork skin (sin chicharrón.)

However, on closer inspection and by missing an “r” on the word “chicharrón” it looks as if Taco Inn is saying their guacamole has no chícharos (green peas,) which is making this blogger scratch her head in confusion:

Has the failing New York Times gone too far with this hideous thing?

Hat tip: @EdgarNunezM

 

Not All Latinos Are Created Equal –and Goya Knows it

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Fútbol? Nah, this kid wants to play hockey. SHOCKER: He’s a “Latino!”

So much for the bad blood between this blogger (i.e. yours truly) and Hispanic Heritage Month. Goya has launched a new campaign which is actually a fun way to show America what I HAVE BEEN SAYING, like, FOREVER: That not all Latinos are fond of fútbol, abuelas or conservative values.

The following spot, crafted by Dallas-based Dieste, kicks off with a hilarious take on a Latin stereotype that is way too common in this country:

[NARRATOR’S VOICE] They say if you know one Latino, you know all Latinos: We only think of fútbol and nothing but fútbol.

Pan out to a scene where dad & kid are having breakfast (¿huevos rancheros?) and kid blurts out: “Dad, I want to play hockey.”

SHOCKER!

But perhaps my favorite part is around the subject of language, where you can get away by saying, well, they all speak Spanish… REALLY? Think again:

Frijoles > Habichuelas > Porotos > Judías*

*Yes, judías. Go Google it or something…

WATCH

New Mexico Taquería Serves Food Items with Names like ‘The Wall,’ ‘Fake News’ –and Plenty of Typos

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Would you eat a burrito with a name such as “Lock Her Up?”

I didn’t think so, but someone does.

Hanif Mohamed, a Muslim immigrant from Kenya, had the not-so-swell idea to open a taquería in Albuquerque with items he hopes will make us crave for his Mexican “food.” Urban Taquería‘s food items include tacos & burritos with bizarre names like “No Collusion,” “The Wall,” “Under Audit,” “Executive Privilege,” and –of course– “Bad Hombre.”

Mohamed –who by the way cannot stand President Trump– told The Washington Post that tacos such as “Bad Hombre” and “Fake News” and burritos such as “The Wall” and “Lock Her Up” “are meant to start political conversations and keep people talking about Trump’s rhetoric.” 

Maybe, Mr. Mohamed, but what’s with the chipotle arbol and the carne adovada? That’s already a no no for this Spanish grammar-obsessed blogger, so I think I’ll pass on your “conversation.”

Oh, and don’t get me started on your habañero mayonnaise…

Adovada? Ay!

 

Photo via: CNN

Eva Longoria to Direct Movie about Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Yay!

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Spicy snacks and Latinos in Hollywood? Count me in!

Eva Longoria (aka this blogger’s favorite retroacculturated Latina) has landed the directing gig of movie about Richard Montanez, none other than the creator of the spicy Flamin’ Hot Cheetos snack.

The Fox Searchlight biopic will tell the story of Montanez as he went from working as a janitor at Frito-Lay to achieve the American Dream (namely, to create a very spicy botana for the hungry masses.)

According to press reports, Montanez’ spicy creation was reportedly “inspired by the flavors of his community, helped revitalize the company and disrupted the food industry, creating a pop culture phenomenon that continues today.” Because, if there’s something Latinos (especially Mexicans) are good at is at spicing up the lives of others.

Say what you will about Mrs. Longoria or Cheetos. I’m all up for spicy and more Latinos (retroacculturated or not) in Hollywood.

Via: CNN

Thanos Twerks around Tacos and Tortas in the World’s Most Amazing Commercial

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A restaurant in Boca del Río, Veracruz has found a winning combination to sell its products: Footage from Avengers: Infinity War, tacos, tortas and a super fun evil Thanos that twerks to show his penchant for Mexican food.

A commercial posted on the Facebook account of Takesabroso, shows Thanos delivering his now-famed deadly snap as he dissolves half of life on Earth. But instead of retreating to a quiet life until the Avengers come back seeking revenge, he is inspired to twerk around delicous tacos and tortas.

Watch the original tweet where this appears before Marvel’s lawyers get on this…

Via: TaKeSabroso

Portland Is Hosting a Topless Taco Festival, Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

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Have you always wanted to eat tacos and burritos while naked? Here’s your chance!

In an effort to raise funds –and awareness– around breast cancer, Portland is hosting a… Topless Taco Festival where visitors are encouraged to come topless for the tacos and booty short-clad for the burritos.

And no, unfortunately this is not some sort of joke or fake news, but an actual event that is scheduled to take place in Portland on August 17. Why? Because apparently nothing says fight cancer like being naked while eating tacos.

Filing under ONLY IN AMERICA and STUPID PROPOSITIONS.

Via: Facebook

At Last, the Complete Set of Mexican Emojis in One Image

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MEXICANEMOJIS

I’m almost certain that the readers of this blog will be able to identify all of these (otherwise, shame on you!). Needless to say, this blogger’s favorites are El subcomandante, the torta and the trompo al pastor.

Still, hit me with questions (i.e. leave a comment below) if:

1) You fail to identify all of these

2) You think there are some missing

Happy World Emoji Day y’all!

Hat tip: @RomiGoma

Still Can’t Cut a Damn Avocado? The Flexicado is Here to Help

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Undeterred by the imminent danger posed by life-threatening avocados, non-Mexican hipsters simply refuse to give up their fascination with avo-toast (i.e. pan con aguacate) and other nonsensical avo-related things. So, they have come up with a solution…

I give you the Flexicado, an “avocado slicer” that will fit all sizes of avocados and –hopefully– will put an end to avocado-related injuries.

Filing this under #PinchesHipsters

Hat tip: San Francisco avocado correspondent Jessica Dolcourt

There’s a Taco Bell Hotel in the Works and I Can’t Even

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Not content with giving the mighty taco a VERY BAD NAME, Taco Bell is close to opening The Bell, a Taco Bell-themed pop-up hotel, which has some people really excited –for some reason.

According to an inexplicably long news article about this thing:

At 10am PT on June 27 you will be able to book your stay at The Bell. The first check-ins for the four-day pop-up begin on August 8. There’s no minimum stay, so you can even just pop in for a single evening.

Activities will include the brand’s Freeze Lounge, live performances from artists and –wait for it– a salon offering taco-inspired nail art.

Send in the nukes. I’m ready….

Via: Desert Sun