I just found out there is an online collective of “Expert Latinos” called -ahem- Expert Latinos, which is already providing “expert Latino advice” to publications including El Diario la Prensa, Cosmopolitan Latina and La opinión. Per a press release:
Expert Latinos is an English-language tool that helps connect journalists and bloggers with Latino Experts.
I’m not quite sure if Expert Latinos is made up of mostly Latino Professionals or Professional Latinos, but I promise to find out. In the meantime, here’s their video-pitch.
Temporary breast tattoo company TaTaToos is so excited about Cinco de Mayo, it has come up with a culturally-relevant line of tattoos that promise to make your holiday -what else?- spicier.
I’m not sure what’s more depressing; if saying “tatas” instead of tetas, or having you celebrate the Battle of Puebla by imprinting some Spanish-language copy on your chest.
In any case, here’s part of the pitch from the original press release:
Make your Cinco de Mayo HOT this year with Ta*ta*toos – temporary tattoos that last up to 5 – 7 days. They are perfect to apply lower on the chest to ensure discreetness when wearing apparel and can be removed with household rubbing alcohol in less than 30 seconds!
I don’t think I’ll be celebrating a Mexican holiday by putting a tattoo on my “tatas…” Still, that part about rubbing alcohol on them sounds quite enticing.
Have you ever felt compelled to rate the deliciousness of a burrito? I’m sure you have, so I have good news for you: Some basket case guy in Chicago set up a Kickststarter page to fund The Burrito Graph Project, whose ultimate goal is to rate the deliciousness of a Chipotle burrito and create a graph to express said deliciousness.
The genius behind this very important endeavor is Noboru Bitoy, who assures us he did not receive any support from the Chipotle chain (where the Burrito Graph Project was conducted). Instead, he successfully raised $171, which made possible the completion of the project.
All we have to do now is sit tight and wait until March, which is when the Deliciousness Burrito Graphic is expected to be posted in all its glory.
On the heels of the unshockingannouncement that CNN Latino is to shut down later this month, more bad news about Hispanic things are coming to the Hispanic world of Hispanics in the U.S.
According to The Packer, a trade publication you’ve probably never heard of, Wal-Mart plans to pull the plug on its lone Más Club pilot store.
In case you don’t know, Más Club was an 87,000-square-foot warehouse store (similar to a Sam’s Club) but carried more Hispanic-focused products, presumably Hispanic cheese, Mexican Coke, Cuban sandwiches, Pringles Tortillas, Hispanic lettuce and the like. A Hispanic Sam’s Club if you will.
This is a bummer, because I guess my people will have to settle for shopping at a regular, non-Latino Wal-Mart. But hey! Not everything is sad news: Very soon, we will be able to get our entertainment from Variety Latino, and not from the regular Variety. And if this doesn’t cheer us up enough, we should always remember that 2014 has been coined as the Year of the Latino by Fox News Latino.
¡Sí, señor!
[In the meantime, I will backtrack on a previous plan to change the name of this blog to Latino Mi blog es tu blog. I’m sure it will not last one week under that moniker.
And now a new contender has arrived: Frito Lay’s Pico de Gallo flavored chips, which I’m sure will help the m lure the taste buds of my people (i.e. The Mexicans).
But if you are in the restaurant business, don’t think these papitas will help you lure more Hispanics to your establishment… This will, though. Enjoy the windfall.
I don’t really know what’s worse: If watching a video of Tim Donnelly pledging to put a goddam gun in every goddam American home, or witnessing the pathetic, supposedly funny translation by María Conchita Alonso while clutching a pet named Tequila and informing us about the large size of Donnelly’s balls.
I am also not sure how I managed to make it to the following 3 minutes below, but I did. Sadly.
In any case, I felt I had to say sorry to my Californian friends. This blogger will be praying for you.
Argentinian “chef” Maru Botana this week came under fire by my people (i.e. The Mexicans) after she attempted to do something Argentinians should never, ever, do: prepare Mexican food.
“Botana,” which is Spanish for “snack” and thus very likely not her real name, took to national television in Argentina to demonstrate how to prepare “real Mexican tacos,” which was nothing but a bizarre concoction of eggplant, green peas, chicken, cherry tomatoes and hard boiled eggs wrapped up in something she thinks is a home-made tortilla.
The offending recipe reaches its peak when Ms. Botana decides to place the tortilla maker actually on the burner, quickly transitioning her endeavor from a cooking parody to just plain disaster.
Below is a small taste of the debacle. For the complete mess tutorial of how NOT to make tacos, go here:
Are you trying to reach the elusive Hispanic millennial but not sure how to go about it? I don’t blame you… After all, Hispanic millennials, while similar to regular, non-Hispanic millennials are a “dynamic group of individuals with diverse backgrounds and distinct traits.” Duh.
This and other shocking revelations can be found in this “insightful” (LOL) PR Week piece, which has laid out some awesome marketing tips for brands trying to reach Hispanic millennials. My favorite:
An example of a brand creating a product “para mi” is Doritos’ launch of Dinamita Nacho Picoso, rolled tortilla chips that are similar to taquitos (also known as flautas), a common Latin American dish. This not only illustrates Doritos understands the culture and flavor preferences of this community, but underscores the influence Hispanic Millennials and the Latin palette have on driving mainstream trends and new products.
Other insights inform us that Hispanic millennials “listen to Calle 13 and Jay-Z and eat arroz con pollo and mac and cheese interchangeably,” which is, like great and all, although I’m not sure where the Dorito-Nacho-Picoso-Latin-eating fits in here. You tell me.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: On 07/29/2013 Dish responded to this post by a Tweet presumably written by a human being with very, very poor writing skills in Spanish.
One does not have to be a genius to realize Dish Networks is very good at pinching pennies. Otherwise, how would you explain them using Google Translate when they could have called this blogger to do a relatively better job translating “Now Playing?”
Take James Fulford, a writer over at anti-immigration, anti-multiculturalism, anti-coherence online community Vdare, who recently took to the web to denounce “upper-class, disloyal Hispanic journalists (specifically Univision’s Cristina Costantini) for “campaigning to import lower class illegals—who won’t live in their neighborhoods.”
According to Fulford, Costantini –whom he refers to as “Cosantini” for some reason– is totally biased in favor of immigrants, because (duh!) she works at Fusion, a company partly owned by Univision, which in turn is “owned” by none other than the “cute-as-a-button* blue-eyed, Mexican journalist Jorge Ramos.”
Way to go, Mr. Fulford! I’m adding your website to my list of favorites; it is not very often that racist, ignorant remarks make me laugh so hard that I almost choked on my gordita de chicharrón.
Some Hispanics (including myself, above pictured) do like to wear hats and funky dresses while cooking inedible stuff using the Guatemalan flag and a poster of a Flamenco dancer as background. Don’t ask.
In light of recent developments, (news that Target Corp.’s management gave bosses some very valuable information about Hispanics) this blogger decided to add a few items to an already stupid comprehensive list of how to go about Hispanic employees.
Target Corp.’s document, first published by Courthouse News Service, informed company managers that “Not all Hispanic employees eat tacos, dance to salsa or wear sombreros,” (ignore the above photograph for one second) or that Mexicans have lower education and “might be undocumented.” So far so good… But it missed some equally important, and worth-making points… So, let’s just get right to them, shall we?
1) Mexicans will always end a sentence with “ito” no matter how much they hate your guts and wish to kill you: i.e. “Con permisito;” “Por favorcito,” “Al ratito,” “Un momentito,” etc.
2) Argentines will go out of their way to convince you they are not Hispanic, which is OK because they really are not, and chances are they are not working at Target anyhow. They will always end up a sentence with “boludo.”
3) Cubans are not only political refuges and better educated –as your document accurately states. They are going to throw a fit every time they see the “other Latinos” wearing a Ché Guevara T-shirt or any other outfit reminiscent of the so-called Cuban revolution. More often than not, Cubans will side with the gringos; not with the Latin ‘chusma.’
4) Not all Mexicans are into tacos: Actually, most of us prefer tortas ahogadas, mondongo, pozole, pancita, machitos, moronga, criadillas, tlayudas, pambazos, etc. etc.
5) Puerto Ricans will probably pay zero attention to whatever you tell them: They are going to be busy listening to reggaetón and holding on to their pants.
6) No matter how hard you try, they (i.e. all Hispanics) just probably going to say “pinche gringo, ya no estés jodiendo” as soon as you turn your back to them. In your face, though, they will be super nice and just say: ¡Sí, señor, ahorita, ahorita lo hago! un momentito.
7) Ecuadoreans and Bolivians are very different but you should always treat them as if they were Peruvians just to piss them off.*
Poor Tom Corbett; he was asked to talk about the Latino vote and complicated stuff like that… But how on Earth can this poor soul possibly answer all those questions when he needs help from a reporter to even find a Latino? (1:50 in the video.)
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