Jeb Bush Can Tell if Someone Hails from Colombia, Not Columbia; Has Wife Named Columba

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Jeb Bush with [tiny] Mexican wife, Columba
Jeb Bush with [tiny] Mexican wife, Columba
It is not a huge secret that Jeb Bush has a pretty decent command of the Spanish language. And now, thanks to the New York Times, we also know he’s also good at guessing the Latin American country where a person is from based on his/her accent.

Per an a March 29, 2015 article:

HUDSON, N.H. — As Jeb Bush mingled with Hispanic workers on a company tour a few weeks ago on his first trip here as an all-but-declared candidate for president, he was able to guess the region in Colombia where one woman was born just from hearing her accent.

He should know better.

While many politicians — and pretty much most “regular Americans”– insist on confusing Colombia with Columbia –and viceversa — something like that would simply be an unforgivable and goofy mistake for a man whose Mexican wife goes by the name of –what else?– Columba.

Editor’s Note: Depending on the success -or not- of Jeb Bush’s campaign for 2016, this blogger will be launching a new category: #ItsColumbaNotColumbia 

This Mexican Astronaut Wants to be President of Mexico. Here’s Why He Should Win

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Neri Vela for President!
Rodolfo Neri Vela for President!

Rodolfo Neri Vela is not only the first — and only — Mexican to have flown aboard a NASA Space Shuttle mission in 1985. More importantly he is the guy who gladly accepted to autograph a dirty napkin — upon his return to Earth — after my father told him I was a fan, and was studying high-school in Singapore….

— Singapore???! Neri apparently gasped, according to my dad, which was just awesome coming from a guy who had been somewhere out there, in space, you know, I think farther even than Singapore.

So there, I have a soft spot for the guy, so if he wants to be president of Mexico, I’ll take my ticket ASAP and cast my vote for him. He has no political experience whatsoever, but given the morons running our country these days… how bad can it be?   

Via: Proceso

 

In Ongoing Effort to Desecrate Tacos, Americans Invent the Taco Takeover Game

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tacotakeovergame

As if Taco Bell’s efforts to sell your children “make-believe” Mexican food weren’t enough, some genius has come up with the Taco Takeover board game, a “fun-filled” game that will make sure your children grow up with a twisted idea of what my people (i.e. The Mexicans) really eat.

Per the game’s creators themselves:

The Taco Takeover game will let your children assemble their own taco, but, be careful! If you draw a “La Cucaracha” card, or are dealt an “Antacid” by an opponent, you’ll need to dump your taco and start over!

Seriously guys, I’m not sure what’s worse, if the “game” itself or the festive, cactus-filled, mariachi-music video that’s being used to promote it.

Somebody please shoot me now…

Netflix Adds Univision, and that Means One thing…

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…. Soraya is BAAAAAAAACK!

lisiada

Per a Univision press release:

Netflix will now offer many hours of some of the most beloved and highly-rated shows from the Univision classics such as Teresa, Maria la del Barrio, Lo Que La Vida Me Robó, Por Ella Soy Eva, La Viuda Negra and Rosa de Guadalupe. The lineup also features some of the Top 20 novelas of all time including La Fea Mas Bella, Cuidado con el Angel and Rubi.

Yeah.. I know what you’re thinking

Mayor De Blasio Appoints Dora the Explorer Ambassador to NYC… Because Nueva York

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¡Bienvenidos a Nueva York!
NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio has appointed a cartoon character as the city’s official ’embajadora

Remember when Dora the Explorer was on her way to become Dora the Stripper?

Well, worry no more. The adorable bilingual heroine Dora the Explorer has been appointed New York City’s “family ambassador,” as part of a new tourism campaign in both English and Spanish. (I guess she’ll be keeping her innocent looks for a while longer. No cleavage and miniskirts, OK, Dora?)

Per an agreement between NYC & Company and Nickelodeon, families will be encouraged by Dora the Explorer to travel around the city’s family-friendly attractions. And this is how Mayor Bill de Blasio announced the whole thing:

“From the Staten Island Ferry and Times Square to the amazing diversity of Queens, the views from the Brooklyn Bridge Park and the wonderful Bronx Zoo, it’s no surprise New York City has become a favorite family destination […] I’m very excited to have Dora as our official embajadora to show families from across the globe the countless recreational and cultural riches of the five boroughs.”

I hope Dora’s Spanish will be a little better than that of the New York City Taxi and Limousine Commission.

Candy Tacos: Because Absurdity Knows no Limits

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The Taco Candy is a thing
The Taco Candy is a thing
Remember the Taco Purse? And how about the Taco Toaster?

So get ready for the newest member of the ATMT (Absurd Taco Madness Trend:) Candy Tacos, a concoction made of a rice krispies shell filled with shredded coconut (the lettuce and cheese), crumbled Oreos (the meat), Mike and Ikes (the tomatoes), and topped with marshmallow fluff (the sour cream).

Why? Because why the hell not.

I mean, regardless its ingredients, this thing doesn’t even look like a real taco… but I guess that’s one of those battles I’ll never be able to win.

Via: Miblogestublog’s Senior Taco Correspondent, Lisa Paravano

Some ‘Fashion’ Designer is Selling a $1,300 ‘Taco Purse’

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Taquera zip round taco shaped clutch [LOL]
Some people just want to see the world burn –and annoy the hell out of this blogger.

Take Italian designer Charlotte Olympia, which is peddling a $1,300 taco purse, a taco-shaped thing “embellished with Swarovski crystals and embroidered silk organza.”

I don’t know you, but $1,300 amounts to about $20,000 Mexican pesos (per today’s exchange rate,) which would be good enough to get you approximately 800 of these.

YES, eight-hundred!

Won't you rather have 800 of these?
Won’t you rather have 800 of these?
A no brainer, my friends.

Oh, and don’t get me started on the burrito bag, please.

Sombrero tip: Mi blog es tu blog’s London correspondent

TBN Launches Hispanic TV Network Called -What Else?- Salsa

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TBN Salsa is 'geared toward next generation Hispanics who may not be fluent in Spanish but apparently love salsa.

Religious broadcaster Trinity Broadcasting Network on June will launch an English-language channel targeting what it called “next-generation” Latinos, which apparently are religious, prefer to speak English and — of course — love to dance and eat salsa.

Per a company press release:

TBN Salsa is ‘geared toward next generation Hispanics who may not be fluent in Spanish. […] It will initially debut in 38 major broadcast markets across America, including Los Angeles, New York City, Miami, Atlanta, Dallas, Seattle, and Phoenix.

And that’s just awesome because everybody knows that Hispanics, regardless their religion and language preference, simply love salsa: This one… and this one too!

The Hispanic CVS Pharmacy is Like a Regular CVS but Hispanic

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YmasCVS

Corporate America is indefatigable.

Despite high-profile, unsuccessful efforts to give my people (i.e. The Hispanics) dedicated “Hispanic stores” with “Hispanic stuff” presumably preferred by “Hispanic people,” big corporations continue to make strides — and waste invest their money —  in giving my people their very own Hispanic tiendas.

Take CVS Pharmacy, which says it has converted 11 existing locations and added a brand-new store to launch its “Hispanic-centric store concept.”

And what exactly makes this CVS a Hispanic CVS? Well, I’m glad you asked. According to this WLRN story: “Cafecito, bilingual staff, money transfer services, and an expanded discount fragrance counter,” because unlike regular, non-Hiapanic people, we love to drink coffee and send money abroad while smelling real nice. 

Per a CVS press release, the the new stores will carry “more than 1,500 trusted Hispanic products including favorite brands such as Café La Llave, Agustin Reyes, Fabuloso, Suavitel, Creolina and Formula 88.”

Wait. WHAT? What about Hispanic cheese? Hispanic lettuce? Mexican Coke? None of that? Buuuu… 😦

I think I’d stick to my neighborhood’s real Latin Pharmacy, that looks just like this:

Farmacia Latina [Harlem]
Farmacia Latina [Harlem]

No, Google, Kermit the Frog is not ‘Kermit la Rana’ in Spanish

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OK, Google. Let's try this again
OK, Google. Let’s try this again

Kermit the Frog, the friendly frog that became so famous in TV shows such as The Muppets and Sesame Street is actually called “René” in Mexico and “Gustavo” in Spain. But I guess that’s just too much for an automated voice-recognition, translation program.

During a brief demonstration today of its voice search app, Google’s Senior Vicepresident Sundar Pachai, reached for his smartphone to ask Google — using his voice — on Google’s search app — “How do you say Kermit the Frog in Spanish?.

Google’s response “Kermit la Rana.”

Wait. What?!

As anybody who was not born in the United States, Kermit came to be known as René in Mexico and pretty much all Latin America, and Gustavo in Spain. And as far as this blogger can tell you, nobody in the Spanish-speaking world knows him (or her?) as Kermit.

Yet, I’ve found video footage of the poor thing (René/Hermit/Gustavo) trying to explain his identity problem.

WATCH

via: CNET en Español

This is What I Call ‘Product Dis-Placement’: Mr. Chevy Chase Does Not Seem to Like My Book

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Ok, Ok, I might not be a fan of NBC’s Community (in fact, I never watched it before today.) But in a recent episode the character portrayed by Mr. Chevy Chase was featured falling asleep, bored out of his mind after apparently having read this blogger’s opera prima.

I mean… I am no Marcel Proust, but come on, Mr. Chase!… Why the mala onda? Couldn’t NBC pick on someone else? Or, as my mom used to say, ¡Póngase con uno de su tamaño!

[Anyhow, gracias, pinche Chevy Chase, for the anti-endorsement.]