Category: Latin America

Appropriately, my Book Is Featured on Cheesy ‘Latin’ Video

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TalkDirtyYoutube

I don’t mean to brag, but you know? I wrote a book. Yes, a physical thing made of paper and ink, which was actually sold in Amazon.com and all, making it –at some point– to the New York Times list of The 500 Books You Will be Well Advised to Ignore (i.e. Not Buy.)

Anyhow, I did not make a penny out of the thing, but I had tons of fun co-writing it with the insanely funny Alexis Munier, an American nutcase imported from Switzerland, who came knocking on my Inbox many moons ago.

But I digress. It is with great delight [and thanks to the watchful eye of Diego Olivé] that I’m happy to see my opera prima reaching YouTube-celebrity status as important footage in this Lorrie Morgan & Sammy Kershaw rendition of He Drinks Tequila.

Here is Talk Dirty: Spanish, in all its literary glory.

This. Blogger. Can. Now. Die. In. Peace.

Bimbo’s ‘Negrito’ Goes Rasta with ‘Negrito Raztachoc’

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If you thought Bimbo’s decision to drop the name ‘Negrito’ from one of its decades-old brands was final, think again.

A “correspondent” of this blog in Ixtapa, Zihuatanejo has spotted this treasure, now in vanilla flavor.

(And no, it’s not old: This Raztachoc is good through May 7, 2014)

Click here to see Bimbo’s negrito “evolution” through the years.

Photo: Begoña Lozano

Cool Iron = Hierro Chulo

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There are only a few things that need absolutely no explanation to make it to this blog. This is one of them.

Whoever was responsible for finding the proper Spanish-language translation of “Cool Iron” and came up with THIS, deserves nothing but my most humble admiration -and an open invitation to a Happy Hour in New York City, at a bar of his/her choice.

(Oh, and don’t get me started on “Mano se lava” and “No caiga”)

Photo: Eperiensense, via @tropicarlitos 

J.C. Penney Wants you to Have a Very Happy ‘Tamalegiving’

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And you? Do you imagine a Thanksgiving full of tamales?
And you? Do you imagine a Thanksgiving Day with a lot of tamales?

In the latest installment of the “How to Turn your Gringo Holiday into a Relevant Latino Holiday,” series, I give you Tamalegiving, a simple -yet delicious- way to turn Thanksgiving Day into Tamalegiving Day instead.

Watch a very cute, acculturated Guatemalan-American kid saying “guácala” to his mom’s gallina as he makes his case for a Thanksgiving full of tamales. Oh, sí.

Alas, I’m more of a ‘Tacogiving’ type of person. But hey, that’s me!

Happy Tamalegiving, pues!

hat tip: Betti Ortega

This Argentinian ‘Chef’ Will Teach you How NOT to Make Tacos

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botanaArgentinian “chef” Maru Botana this week came under fire by my people (i.e. The Mexicans) after she attempted to do something Argentinians should never, ever, do: prepare Mexican food.

“Botana,” which is Spanish for “snack” and thus very likely not her real name, took to national television in Argentina to demonstrate how to prepare “real Mexican tacos,” which was nothing but a bizarre concoction of eggplant, green peas, chicken, cherry tomatoes and hard boiled eggs wrapped up in something she thinks is a home-made tortilla.

The offending recipe reaches its peak when Ms. Botana decides to place the tortilla maker actually on the burner, quickly transitioning her endeavor from a cooking parody to just plain disaster.

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Below is a small taste of the debacle. For the complete mess tutorial of how NOT to make tacos, go here:

‘El Tiempo Latino:’ What Jeff Bezos Was Really After…

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As usual, the so-called “mainstream media” missed the boat on this one.

For all the hoopla around Jeff Bezos buying the Washington Post, most media writers failed to point out that the Post is the proud publisher of El Tiempo Latino, a weekly Spanish-language publication that prints awesome cartoons like this one and targets the many, many Latinos that are taking over D.C.

So… if you thought Bezos paid $250 million for The Washington Post, think again. What he was really after was the ever-exploding, trillion-dollar-opportunity that only Hispanic print media can deliver.

After all, there’s no point in denying his Cuban background, is there?

Here’s How We Plan to Take Over the U.S. [Part II]

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quintillizosB

I said this in 2008 and I’ll say it again: Hispanics are a resourceful bunch and have crafted a brilliant master plan to take over the U.S: It’s quite simple, come to think about it: Reproduce quickly and in large quantities.

In the latest installment of the Here’s How We Plan to Take Over the U.S. series, a Latino couple in Nebraska (Yes, I repeat, Nebraska) last week became the proud parents of quintuplets. Mara, Cristóbal, Ximena, Arleth and Roselyn -what else?- García came to this world in July as a five-fold bundle of joy.

¡Welcome pues, paisanos!

Colombia Will not Win Spelling Medal at ‘Word’ Games

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WordGames

Now, this is awkward.

According to Colombian (not Columbian) newspaper El Tiempo, the country’s organizing body of this year’s World Games has recalled the 1,221 gold, silver and bronze medals that were supposed to be handed to athletes at this year’s competition.

The reason? A not-so-tiny misprint…

It’s “World” not “Word”… Just like “It’s Colombia, not Columbia.”

Hat tip: @TersitesD

In Latest Sign of Commitment to U.S. Hispanics, Dish Goes ‘Google Translate’

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IMPORTANT UPDATE: On 07/29/2013 Dish responded to this post by a Tweet presumably written by a human being with very, very poor writing skills in Spanish.

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One does not have to be a genius to realize Dish Networks is very good at pinching pennies. Otherwise, how would you explain them using Google Translate when they could have called this blogger to do a relatively better job translating “Now Playing?”

Anyhow… I guess “No cost” beats “Low cost.”

Hat tip: @elburgues