Penélope Cruz to Peddle non-Alcoholic Beer — for Women, you Know?

Oh, how I miss the days when Penélope Cruz drank Coke and belched like the guys.

Alas, in this modern, politically-correct times we live, the gorgeous-but-married-mother-of -small-children wants us to drink… non-alcoholic beer, because she’s a lady, you know? and beer is, like, for the dudes.

The following is an ad apparently airing now on Polish television, though several reports say Karmi, the beer for ladies, is making its way to Spain — and beyond.

What a great time to be alive…. NOT.

Via: El Español

Mexicans Are Freaking out about ‘Mexico Is the Shit’ Fashion

It was bound to happen.

A fashion idea born in Mexico, and crafted by Mexican designer Anuar Layon was meant to show the world (or, more specifically the obtuse Trump administration) that Mexico is… well, the shit (i.e. bien chingón.)

But of course, when you launch an English-language slogan — and movement — in Mexico, you cannot seriously expect everyone to understand exactly what you mean.

See? Not everybody is a European-educated fashion designer down there; so there are some Mexicans who are seriously pissed, thinking that being the shit is something like awful. Take this poor soul who became the butt of the joke Monday night after tweeting the following photo “denouncing” racism at some Mexico City hotel.

So, what the hell is Mexico is the Shit anyhow?

In the words of Layón himself:

It is a tribute to all those mexicans around the world that are shifting global culture with their beautiful hearts and brilliant minds; it’s a way to show that we are many and we are together; that we are raising the standards, reminding the world that our voice matters. “Mexico is the shit” is a community, a support system and a movement inspiring love, respect and trust!

Sure, and also a way for these guys to sell shirts & jackets, which I’m sure cost more than a few bucks. Still, whether you decide to wear one of these things — or not — just chill. Mexico IS the Shit.

This Gringo Is so Mexican, He Drinks Victoria Beer

gregorioThere is nothing that annoys me more than Americans thinking they know Mexico and Mexican culture because they like to drink Corona beer.

Fortunately, there’s one gringo who knows there are alternatives, including Victoria beer, the only cerveza this blogger likes. See? No matter how much this guy sucks at everything “Mexican;” all he needs to do is drink a non-Corona beer (in this case a Victoria) to pass as a real Mexican among the dudes.

Here’s the latest spot for Victoria beer, featuring the hilarious El Corrido de Greg, with music by my cuates of Mixto Music.

¡Ajúa, pinches gringos!

Via: Victoria Beer on Facebook

Shazam Joins Cinco de Mayo Bash, Because Tequila!

¡Ándale, ándale! ¡Arriba, arriba!
¡Ándale, ándale! ¡Arriba, arriba!

It’s too early to start talking about Cinco de Mayo, right?

WRONG!

Shazam, the app that lets you identify and discover songs from a mobile device, is already working on a super duper plan to join the Cinco de Mayou fiesta!

The company said on Monday that it has partnered with Beam Suntory — owners of Sauza and Hornitos tequila — to enter the realm of Augmented Reality (AR) just in time for this blogger’s most despised favorite holiday.

And how does this partnership will work? Well, I’m glad you asked: Using some new technology, users will be able to scan codes from, say, a bottle of tequila to experience all kinds of augmented reality “Mexican” fun and stuff, including “3D animations, product visualizations, mini-games and 360-degree videos. Guac-a-Mole, anyone?

Here’s how the company explained this thing:

“This breakthrough technology offers an accessible, immersive platform with which to engage in a rewarded gamification experience at the point of purchase leading up to Cinco de Mayo. Sauza Tequila and Hornitos Premium Tequila should effectively break through the Cinco de Mayo advertising clutter thanks to this exciting partnership,” said Michelle Cater, Beam Suntory’s senior director of commercial marketing, apparently with a straight face.

¡Ajúa!

Via: CNET en Español

Bride Makes Wedding Gown out of Taco Bell Burrito Wrappers, Because some People Want me Dead

These "Burritos" are in Love
Burritos in Love

Some people want to watch the world burn — and/or see this blogger jump from the highest building in Manhatitlán.

Here’s the scoop: Bride-to-be Diane Nguyen posted the above photo on her Instagram feed showing a wedding gown made out of … Taco Bell burrito wrappers (hopefully unused.)

And no, apparently she isn’t that crazy; she’s just vying to win a Taco Bell contest where fans of the eatery submit photos or brief videos showing why they should win a free wedding at the Taco Bell Cantina in Las Vegas. (Oh, OK I take that back. She is crazy.)

You guys know how I feel about Taco Bell, but I confess this bride’s writing was actually not as bad as her taste in food:

“Our love for each other is as cheesy as a quesadilla,” she wrote. “We’re nachos getting married, it’s going to be a Las Vegas tacover. Lettuce celebrate our love at the Taco Bell Chapel in Vegas, cuz we are ready to guac and roll.”

Via: CNET en Español

Toys R Us Portugal Features Border Wall, other ‘Typically Mexican’ Fun Toys and Stuff!

I couldn’t make this shit up even if I tried…

According to archfamous Mexican professional footballer Miguel Layún, Toys R Us Portugal has a dedicated Mexico section, where kids can do so many fun things, including getting acquainted with Trump’s Border Wall.

The above photo was taken by Layún, who tweeted (in Spanish): “It is so sad that @ToysRUS in Gaia features this type of decoration; we decided to leave upon seeing this joke.”

I only wonder if they sell fun family board games like The Illegal Game and the like…

SIGH…

Via: Miguel Layún/Twitter

Conan Goes to Mexico, Handles Street Tacos Like a Boss

conantacos

You might not be aware of this, but Conan O’Brien is in Mexico City, thus having much better food — and fun — than the rest of us.

This week, as part of his ongoing Mexico City adventure, the famed TV presenter was spotted sharing a few street tacos with none other than Jorge Ramos, the Univision anchor who managed to pissed off Trump way before the rest of the “evil, flailing media” did.

Anyhow, Conan Without Borders: Made In Mexico premieres Wednesday, March 1st on TBS and this blogger cannot wait.

Via: Milenio

Sorry, Folks, the $40 Burrito Yoga Bag Is Sold Out, but…

yogaburrito

Fear not: I’m pretty sure the folks over at Brogamats are working on it.

In the meantime, you can always use your tortilla towel  or — of course — a Deluxe Mexican Yoga Blanket as an OK substitute to wrap your existing yoga mat.

PLUS… Last time I checked, the $1,300 taco bag was still available, so you can still enjoy a tortilla-filled life until the burrito yoga bag is in stock again.

Hat tip: Begoña Lozano

Regular Sour Cream Becomes ‘Mexican Style Sour Cream’ on Amazon Fresh, because Marketing

amazonfresh

Remember the YogaDirect Mexican Deluxe Yoga Mat? Well, you can now add another “very special” Mexican product to your Amazon shopping cart.

From the Amazon Fresh Grocery and Gourmet Food department, I give you the LALA Mexican Style Sour Cream, which pops as a “popular in your area” product when browsing the page while Mexican.

But before you reach out for your wallet and click BUY to give this Mexican delicacy a chance, let me clue you in on something: It’s really just a regular sour cream, but made in Mexico, you know?

Hat tip: Begoña Lozano

The ‘Spanish Feminist T-shirt’ Fails to Speak Proper Spanish

feminist

Human, an online retailer that “believes that every printed object can be a mechanism to declare identity and belonging,” would be well advised to double check their Spanish copy before plastering whatever on their t-shirts, mugs and other accessories.

Take the Spanish Feminist T-shirt, which features nonsensical Spanish copy which — I assume — is an attempt to translate the phrase: This is what a feminist looks like.

Seriously, guys? I mean, even Google Translate does a better job with simple phrases like that.

(Don’t know how to say it properly? Well, HIRE A TRANSLATOR!)

Hat tip: @conz

Amazon Wants you to Believe this Mexican Blanket is a ‘Deluxe Yoga Mat’ 😂

sarapegreen
“The YogaDirect Deluxe Mexican Yoga Blanket is soft and warm, and comes in a variety of bright colors.”

Amazon, the versatile online retailer where you can get your Hispanic-themed dolls and your Hispanic-flag T-shirts, is introducing yet another ethnic-relevant product.

Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you: The YogaDirect Deluxe Mexican Yoga Blanket, which is basically a sarape that my people (i.e. The Mexicans) use to do all sorts of things, except yoga.

According to the retailer, the YogaDirect Deluxe Mexican Yoga Blanket is machine-washable; it is proudly made in Mexico and comes in a variety of bright colors… (Oh, and it also costs about 10 times more than a regular sarape, because marketing.)

You have to see it to believe it
You have to see it to believe it

So, basically: JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA (or how we say in English: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA).

Sprint Revives Locomía in Latest Campaign, Because Everybody Wants the 80s Back

loco
The original members of Locomía

I don’t know about you, but I spent a pretty good chunk of my youth dancing like a maniac to the ridiculous tunes of Locomía, the Spanish 80s pop band formed by four flamboyant fashion students who wore makeup, outrageous outfits and couldn’t go anywhere without a giant hand-held fan.

Well, if you are among the unlucky who never met them, Sprint is bringing them back (sort of) in its latest Spanish-language campaign created by ALMA in Miami.

Below is the commercial that debuted on Friday — though you might want to watch some of their original non-commercial work and this blogger’s favorite (also below.)

Via: CNET en Español

And this blogger’s personal favorite….

Conan Is Heading to Mexico to Repair U.S.-Mexico Relations, Because Nobody Else Can

Conan will be Made in Mexico!
Conan will be Made in Mexico!

In these “interesting times,” in which the most important diplomatic decisions are made on Twitter, it’s only fitting that the only person that seems qualified to repair the much damaged U.S.-Mexico relation is… a television comedian.

Sí, señor. Conan O’Brien, who jumped to this blog’s fame with his telenovela Noches de Pasión, will be taping an entire episode of his TV show in Mexico, using an all-Mexican staff, crew, guests and studio audience.

The goal? Apparently to investigate if such a barbaric country can produce more than just criminals and rapists.

Conan Without Borders: Made In Mexico premieres Wednesday, March 1st on TBS and this blogger cannot wait!

Anheuser-Busch Debuts Bad ‘Mexican’ Beer with an Even Worse Commercial

jaliscopromo

Estrella Jalisco, a beer brand you’ve never heard of (and one you should probably never drink) has decided to make its U.S. debut by pitching its own idea of “mexicanidad,” namely turning a regular American neighborhood into an animated fiesta, complete with charros, mariachis and papel picado.

The spot is as bad as you could expect from a “Mexican” beer concocted by Anheuser-Busch InBev, purveyors of everything but “mexicanidad.”

Anyhow…

WATCH. CRINGE. DO NOT REPEAT