Rodner Figueroa: Hispanic Media’s Convenient Scapegoat

RodnerMuch has been written this week about the precipitous downfall of Venezuelan TV host Rodner Figueroa, who was fired from his high-paying job in Univision after making an inexcusable, racist comment about Michelle Obama live, during the superpopular daytime show El gordo y la flaca. More specifically  – without mincing words – Figueroa compared the First Lady to someone from the cast of the Planet of the Apes movie.

Click here to watch the video of what he said exactly (in Spanish.)

queridaenemiga
‘Querida enemiga’ features two Scandinavian-looking Mexican chefs

Sure, Figueroa said something horrible. Yes, Univision did the right thing by reacting quickly and firing him “immediately” barely hours after he made the now infamous commentary.

But what many fail to see is that “The Figueroa Affair” is by no means new, nor shocking, at least for those of us who intimately know the ugly inners of Latin American – and U.S. Hispanic – media. As anthropologist Arlene Dávila wrote recently: “Sadly these types of comments are very common in Univision, and rarely regulated.”

While this is indeed true, is by no means limited to Univision. Take any television show in the U.S. (Univision, Telemundo, Azteca America, MundoFox;) Peru (SurPerú;) Mexico (Televisa, TV Azteca;) Venezuela, Colombia, etc. and you’ll see what I mean.

I grew up in Mexico City, and was always intrigued (not really shocked back then) to see that people on TV didn’t look at all like most people I saw on a daily basis. I mean, even the maids were all like, well-coiffed, blond actresses!

Wether it was telenovela stars or Cuban-born TV hosts, everybody looked (and still does) like they were all hailing from Scandinavia.

cristina29
Can you spot the Latinos and non-Latinos? HINT: They are all Latinos

I dare you find a Black actor or actress (yes, there are Black people in Latin America;) an Indigenous Mexican (oh, yes, we have plenty) unless – of course – they are shown as objects of ridicule.

Want more? Take this promotional spot from Mexico’s media giant Grupo Televisa pretty much portraying Africans as a bunch of savages. Oh, did I mention Televisa is Univision’s partner, co-owner and provider of content?

See? Per the above examples, Africans (i.e. blacks) are savages, and Indians are pretty much non-existing. Thus, it was only natural that a local residencial developer in El Salvador this year used a light-skinned, blond family of three to pitch its “super affordable low-cost housing,” even though only a 0.1 percent of the population of El Salvador looks like these three.

Salvador

Sure, pummeling Rodner Figueroa as if he were a Kim Kardashian piñata might feel like a good thing to do right now: It will make us feel great about ourselves as defenders of a racism-free world.

Just don’t forget: He is not the isolated racist weirdo they might have you believe in this wonderful universe that came to be known as Hispanic Media.

Disney’s First Latina Princess is Dark-skinned, Has an ‘Abuela’

"Elena has a darker complexion, brown eyes, and lush, chocolate-brown hair." Don't we all?
“Elena has a darker complexion, brown eyes, and lush, chocolate-brown hair.” Don’t we all?

Quite frankly, it’s getting increasingly hard for this blogger to keep up with all the nonsense, but here goes.

Today, while I was minding my own business, trying to figure out what mariachis have to do with boring conference calls and Harvard, a very important piece of news broke –in very important media outlets, mind you. Disney revealed Elena of Avalor, its first “Latina princess.”

And what — may you be wondering — makes Elena of Avalor a Latina? Well, let Disney explain it in its own words:

Elena lives in an enchanted fairytale kingdom inspired by diverse Latin cultures and folklore.

Yes, I know, I know, that’s not really quite enough. But there is more:

Her family will include a grandfather named Tito and abuela named Cici and a royal advisor by the name of Duke Esteban.

And that’s where I thought “Of course!” and abuela and a royal advisor? She has got to be a Latina.

Ecuador Really Wants Your Attention During the Super Bowl

Ecuador

I don’t mean to be a party pooper but when your tiny little country is buried in debt, the last thing you want to do is pay $4 million for a 30-second commercial to air during a sports event that will likely be seeing by millions of people who will be too drunk — and too stuffed on guacamole– to care about going to Galapagos any time soon.

Still, according to media reports, the government of Ecuador has plunked down a whopping $ 3.8 million to air a a 30-second commercial during Super Bowl XLIX on Sunday night. The commercial will be to the tune of All You Need Is Love, by the Beatles, as it’s part of a larger All You Need Is Ecuador campaign aimed at American tourists.

Here’s a sneak peak of the promo leading up to the commercial that you probably won’t pay attention to this Sunday.

Miss Universe was Hugely Popular on TV, and I Know Why

A few seconds before Paulina Vega is crowned Miss Universe by the outgoing Gabriel Isler as seeing on stage (LEFT) and on TV.
A few seconds before Paulina Vega is crowned Miss Universe by the outgoing Miss Universe Gabriel Isler as seeing live on stage (Left, boring) and on TV (right, hot) with the proper backlight.

Miss Universe, that annual parade of young, pretty -and pretty shallow- women, which for some reason continues to be very popular, took place last night in Florida, making some ratings history for NBC and it’s Spanish-language network Telemundo, which aired the pageant in English and Spanish, respectively.

While NBC reported the 63rd Annual Miss Universe averaged 7.6 million viewers over three hours, Telemundo said 4.7 million people tuned in to watch the broadcast in Spanish.

Both figures are indeed impressive, but easy to understand when you consider how much sexier the whole thing is on television than watching it live from a local university in Florida –which by the way might be the closest any of these señoritas will ever get to a higher education institution.

H/t: @aqwack

Eva Longoria to Star in NBC Show about a Latina who doesn’t Speak Spanish — of Course

eva-longoria-telenovela-star

Eva Longoria (aka as La Prieta Faya and this blogger’s favorite retroacculturated Latina) has been tapped as the star of Telenovela, a 13-episode NBC comedy slated for the 2015-2016 TV season.

The decision to pick Longoria wouldn’t be more appropriate: The show tells the story of a telenovela actress who doesn’t speak Spanish, and we all know that while Ms. Longoria is not a telenovela star, she is indeed extremely challenged when it comes to the language of Cervantes.

I can’t wait to not watch for the show to start. However, it’s a pity NBC didn’t cast Mr. Erick Estrada as her co-star in this thing. After all he’s the only actual telenovela actor I know who ever got away with making a telenovela despite his very poor command of Spanish.

See? This is what NBC viewers will be missing.

Meet the Sarape-clad Latino-Muslim Undocumented Terrorist

Meet the Sarape-clad Latino-Muslim undocumented terrorist
Meet the Sarape-clad Latino-Muslim undocumented terrorist

Awwww, my people can be so creative! (and by that I mean both, Latinos and editors.)

Take the National Institute for Latino Policy (NALIP), which recently posted the findings of a five-year-old study about the misrepresentation of Latinos and Muslims in national broadcast and cable news.

Among other things, the study found that both, Latinos and Muslims are overrepresented as the ‘bad guys’ across national TV, with Latinos being — almost invariably — undocumented criminals and Muslims, well, hopeless terrorists.

But hold on. I’m all up for my people (and everybody else’s people) not to be singled out as the bad guys on television. But I do think using a Sarape-Inspired Male Niqab to illustrate this story is a bit of a stretch.

I mean… I just went LOL.

¡Adiós, Colberto! Why this Blogger will Forever Miss You

'Reporto Gigante'
‘Reporto Gigante’

Hispanic television has never been very good at poking fun at… well, Hispanic television, which is a shame since there’s just so much to poke fun at.

Fortunately, we had Stephen Colbert — and his hilarious Hispanic primo Esteban Colberto — to set the record straight when it came to Latino things, like that time he interviewed “the Latino Walter Cronkite” (i.e. Jorge Ramos) beginning all his questions with an upside down question mark and stating Latinos are too lazy to even deport ourselves.

There was also

Some more Latino jewels from Colbert here, here and here. Oh, and then there’s the Mexican Threat Special.

¡Adiós, Colberto!

colberthispanic

‘Cristela’ is a Latin-themed TV Show I Might Actually Watch

'Cristela' stars Mexican-American comedienne Cristela Alonzo
‘Cristela’ stars Mexican-American comedienne Cristela Alonzo

Mexican-American comedienne Cristela Alonzo might not be as stunning as Sofía Vergara -and chances are the EMMY Academy will never put her on a rotating pedestal.

However, judging from the following trailer -and description- of the upcoming ABC comedy Cristela, she has the potential to help restore my faith in Latino-themed programming for the so-called English-language crowd.

Per a press release:

Cristela is in her 6th year of law school (having juggled family obligations and worked multiple jobs to pay her way); she lands an internship at a prestigious Dallas law firm.  She lives with her sister, her brother-in-law, their two young kids, and her old-school mom. Felix’s cousin and co-worker, Alberto flirts shamelessly with Cristela, but the only feeling she has for him is a shared passion for the Dallas Cowboys.

Well that sounds interesting. Let’s see if the show actually delivers and makes us all want more -or suffer the fate of so many other “Latino TV projects.”

It premieres Oct. 10, so I will -of course- be watching and keep you guys posted.

Estrella TV Premieres Show Featuring Rich, Desperate Latinas

RicaFamosa2

Latina, Rica, Famosa is Estrella TV’s answer to the Real Housewives franchise, except this new reality show features five “beautiful, successful Latinas that invite you all the way to their living room -and bedroom- to see what they are really made of.”

I must confess I have not seen this thing, but judging from the promo -below- and other Spanish-language TV spinoffs out there, including this and this, I think I will pass.

There’s already too much desperation in my own, real, Latin life…

The EMMYs put Sofía Vergara on a Pedestal; Rotate her 360 Degrees to Show Commitment to Diversity

Sofia Vergara at the 2014 EMMYs
My favorite part was how the mention of what goes on ‘behind’ the cameras coincided with this image.

Bruce Rosenblum, chairman and CEO of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, took the stage last night at the 2014 EMMY Award ceremony to talk about diversity in the television industry.

And what better way of showing your commitment to diversity than putting Colombian actress Sofia Vergara on a pedestal, and rotating her to showcase her ‘talents’ in a 360-degree fashion?

Watch. Cringe. Repeat.

Ay, Caramba! 

The Mexican ‘Jersey Shore’ Looks Stupider than the Regular ‘Jersey Shore’

'Acapulco Shore' is scheduled to debut in September 2014.
‘Acapulco Shore’ is scheduled to debut in September 2014.

I thought it was going to be a while until I had to post something about silly Mexican spin-offs, but it looks like TV producers and creatives never stop, well, creating.

On the heels of Gossip Girl Acapulco, comes Acapulco Shore, a Mexican version of -yes, you guessed it- Jersey Shore.

Per an MTV Latin America press release:

“Produced exclusively in Mexico, the series will be filmed in and around the city of Acapulco, capturing the staple moments of the franchise including over-the-top arguments, undefined love triangles and outrageous antics in the sun-kissed city.”

Alas, it looks like the reality series -which I’m sure will star a bunch of blond, blue-eyed Mexicans with sculptural bodies- will feature no vigilante autodefensas, corrupt politicians, guerrilla fighters, or dangerous drug lords that seem to have taken over the state of Guerrero, home of the aforementioned sun-kissed city.

I guess producers are kind enough to spare us the bad news, so that we have time to focus on “undefined love triangles and outrageous antics.” Hell, yeah!

Acapulco Shore is scheduled to debut in September 2014.

CW to Premiere Venezuelan Drama About a Religious Girl Who Gets ‘Accidentally Inseminated’

JuanaLaVirgen

The crave for Latin American dramas is about to reach new heights, as CW on October will debut an English-language adaptation of Juana la Virgen, a Venezuelan novela about a “very religious girl” who ends up being artificially inseminated… accidentally, of course.

The adaptation, which was first reported by Deadline.com, has some powerful backers, including Ben Silverman, the guy behind Ugly Betty and Jennie Snyder Urman, creator of Emily Owens, MD.

I’m not sure how the story will play down in English, but at least in Spanish -and judging from the following episode- Juana’s “virginity” doesn’t seem to hold much water.