That’s It! First Burger King… Now, South Park?

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It seems that mainstream media and marketing gurus are getting their kicks making fun of poor, defenseless Mexicans.

On the heels of the Burger King Texican Whopper fiasco, comes yet another public “offense” against the Mexican people; this time from our friends enemies at South Park. The episode shows an embarrassed Felipe Calderón grilled on what his government has done with all foreign aid –presumably granted by extraterrestrials.

[Little do they know Mexico’s government does wonders with that money, including bringing beaches and ice skating to the masses. Fighting crime and drug lords? Well, that can wait.]

p.s. I wonder how long it will take for some offended Mexican official with nothing to do to urge South Park to take down the episode…anyone?

Barack Obama Brings My People ‘Mucho Dinerito’

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picture-12You can badmouth the gringos as much as you want, but they are soooooo nice to us, Mexicans.

Take Barack Obama, who this afternoon arrived in Mexico City to personally give the Calderón government US$66 million!

Alas, the greenbacks might not end up in my family’s hands any time soon. They are, reportedly, to be used to purchase a few BlackHawk helicopters.

Oh, well, beggars can’t be choosers, right?

Obama’s Mexico Visit By the Numbers

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picture-1

1 Beast (the bullet proof limo, NOT who you’re thinking of…)

5.4 meters. Length of The Beast

12:00 P.M. (CST) Time when Mexico’s air travel space will shut down for one and a half hours

13:00 P.M. (CST) Estimated Time of Arrival at Mexico City’s International Airport

3,5000 Police agents charged with the U.S. President’s security during his visit

24 Estimated number of hours in Mexico

5 Number of activities planned

6 Number of floors to be occupied by Obama and his staff at Polanco’s Hotel El Presidente

15:35. Estimated time for a joint press conference with the other beast Felipe Calderón

3 meals (presumably not Whoppers)

Obama + Calderón: Brought Together by Nonsense

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desatino

It didn’t take long for Mexican cartoonists to take on the whole Burger King brouhaha.

In the image, Obama is seeing as the tall, lanky gringo who poses next to a chubby -and tiny- Felipe Calderón. These two, however, are not “Brought together by destiny,” as the Texican Whopper, but “Brought together by nonsense.”

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Image: Calderón. (Reforma) 

Hat tip: Carlos Gutiérrez

What’s a Few Guns When You Can Make Some Extra ‘Dinerito’?

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0916covdx1Undeterred by American TV anchors reporting on Armageddon south of the border -and despite what Anderson Cooper wants you to believe— U.S. manufacturers are flocking to Mexico in search of some extra dinerito. (Even when things are so messed up that BusinessWeek is using rifles to spell out the name of the country!)

According to the April 20th issue of BusinessWeek big business is standing its ground for one simple reason: 

“Manufacturers have good reason to hang tough. The 41% drop in the peso against the dollar since August has made Mexico an even cheaper place to manufacture: Factory workers in Juárez can be hired for $1.50 an hour.” 

$1.50 an hour!?? Good lord! That’s not even enough to get you a spicy Whopper across the border. Crap!

The New Whopper is a Sandwich Filled with Cajun Sauce, Frijoles and Plenty of Stereotypes

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texicanwhopper

What happens when you merge a tall, good-looking Texan man with a stocky, chubby  guy wrapped in the Mexican flag and wearing a wrestling mask? 

Answer: you get a Burger King Texican Whopper, yet another “delicious” creation from the hamburger chain.

The print ad hails from Spain, and it pitches the new Texican Whopper, an impossible fusion of cajun sauce, cheddar cheese, meat taco and beans (!) The tagline, Unidos por el destino, means “Brought together by destiny.”

My sources tell me that Mexico’s ambassador to Spain, Jorge Zermeño, has already asked Burger King to take down the ad and apologize –apparently because it offends our already decimated flag, and not our cuisine.

But wait! there’s more: the Texican is also a hit in England and has its own TV spot:

Former ‘Hoy’ Employee to Launch Newspaper in NYC. Taps Local Beauties to Help Promote it

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al-dia-juan-carlos-sanchez

And just when you thought the so-called ethnic press was dead, a group of former Hoy employees in New York City are getting ready to launch NY Al Día, a Monday to Friday daily expected to circulate 20,000 copies starting April 20.

According to general manager Juan Carlos Sánchez (in the photo), NY Al Día  will cost 0,40 cents and will be sold 1,800 points of sale in New York City, Long Island and New Jersey.

This blogger, of course, promptly attended the April 8 press conference at the Paramount Hotel. Alas, there were no free drinks for the crowd, but plenty of eye-candy for the hombres. Let’s just hope these Latin beauties will help make Latinos read again.

Photo: Javier Castaño

Texas Church Helps Hispanics Find Their Inner Cowboy

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picture-2When it comes to ethnic and religious diversity the sky is the limit.

That is why the Texas Fellowship of Cowboy Churches is launching its first Hispanic venture, the Iglesia Vaquera, which is attracting parishioners by the minute.

“[The Iglesia Vaquera] follows the Cowboy church model, including simple sermons and keeping services to an hour. But instead of country music with gospel lyrics, [Pastor] Howard brings in mariachi bands and groups that play Mexican norteño and banda music,” according to the Dallas Morning News

Some parishioners say the new church has helped them not only to find God but to discover their inner Cowboy.

And that, my friends, is just heavenly!

Photo: Dallas Morning News

At Last, a Marketing Program I Can Embrace

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There is nothing like free cash to get people do anything (even eat more junk food.) According to Advertising Age, one of Mexico’s most successful ongoing marketing promotions is Sabrilana, in which PepsiCo’s Mexican subsidiary Sabritas is stuffing mucho dinero into the packaging of Doritos, Tostitos, Ruffles and other snacks.

During the promotion, which started in January, sales were up 18% by value and 20% by units, Francisco Jimenez, Sabritas marketing director, told AdAge. Me cae!

And because nothing goes better with free cash than state-of-the-art advertising, here’s the spot pitching the promotion.

U.S. Government Finds Innovative Ways to Send Latinos Far, Far Away

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acabaThe NASA is boosting marketing efforts to reach out to Hispanics, in Spanish, so that one day we, too, will be walking on the moon.

“The future astronauts and NASA scientists are among 8- and 10-year-old Hispanic kids,” Jose Granda, an Ecuadorean NASA Faculty Fellow told the Orlando Sentinel.

The excitment around Hispanic astronauts gained momentum last month when NASA sent its first Puerto Rican to space, Joseph Acaba (in the photo), who by the way is NOT related to Elvis Crespo, despite his name and his love for aerial adventures.

Myrka Helps Kick Off ‘Hispanic Oral Health Month.’ Proves She Still Has a Full Set of Teeth

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myrkagc2North Korea might be launching rockets all over the Pacific, but there’s plenty other stuff going on in the world.

For example: Colgate and the Hispanic Dental Association (yes, there is such a thing) this week officially declared April El mes de la salud bucal: un mundo de sonrisas saludables (Oral Health Month: A World of Healthy Smiles), because even if Latinos “overindex” in the use of video games and portable electronics, we are apparently not very neat when it comes to cleaning our teeth.

The official kick off took place last week in Miami, with the presence of several “Oral Health Month Ambassadors,” including Colgate Total’s spokesperson Myrka Dellanos, who was at hand to prove not only that she cares about your health, but that despite the mañas of her former husband, she still has a full set of teeth.

Clinton on the Sacred Cloak: Who Painted This Thing?

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MEXICO-US-CLINTONAnd speaking of God and his many talents, Hillary Clinton failed to acknowledge one of his mightiest deeds. Ever. During her recent visit to Mexico City’s Basílica de Guadalupe, the Secretary of State was so mesmerized by the sacred cloak of Juan Diego, that she couldn’t help but ask:

“And who did you say painted this thing?”

Thank goodness Monseñor Diego Monroy was at hand to provide the only correct answer.

“God!” he replied.

Of course. And you thought HE was only good at teaching English.