Dear Americans: Please Take Note, and Hold Down the Fort While I Go on Vacation, Will Ya?

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The Real Mexican Food Manifesto

Dear Readers:

I know Twitter, Facebook, Instagram et al have been stealing time and energy from this blogger and I have not been able to keep my promise of posting something here everyday as I used to in the dial-up AOL.com, pre-Zuckerberg era.

And now, as if all that weren’t tragic enough, I’ve decided to embark on a late, long vacation in an undisclosed location (check out my Instagram account if you’re REALLY dying to know where I’ll be,) so I won’t be able to update this thing as often as I would like.

That said, I am reaching out to you TODAY to ask for your help in spreading the above manifesto, which will help restore the sacredness of the food from my homeland, and hopefully contravene the terrible transgressions it has endured throughout these years.

I trust you will read –and memorize– the above manifesto and help this blogger put a stop to the nonsense of spreading shredded cheddar on top of stuff and/or mistaking a burrito for a quesadilla or –worse– a corn tortilla for a flour one.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and think of me every time you find an authentic enchilada. 🙏🏻

 

Pablo Escobar’s Brother Launches Foldable Phone; its Marketing Is Something Else

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The Escobar Fold: Ideal for your selfies while wearing underwear and showing off your fake boobs…

Roberto De Jesús Escobar Gaviria, the brother of late Colombian drug kingpin Pablo Escobar, has joined the foldable phone fever with the Escobar Fold 1, a $350 device that comes unlocked and claims to be compatible with “all networks” worldwide.

I don’t know about you, but I’m too distracted by these models to pay attention on the thing’s specs, price, durability, gigabytes, chipset, etc. etc. But the ads are mesmerizing. Here are just a couple…

I think there’s a phone here, but I’m not sure…

Via: CNET

Kia Latino Wants us to Be Thankful… for our Car Specs

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Kia Latino, which is like regular Kia but Latino, has given us some marketing jewels in the past, including the use of female mariachis to show they really, really, care about my people (i.e. The Hispanics) and diversity. And now, they want to remind us that Thanksgiving is a great time of the year to be thankful.

Thankful for… the specs of our cars, naturally.

Take the following Twitter ad, in which we find our “typical” Latino family passing around –what else?– tamales during what looks to be a very special Thanksgiving meal. The exchange (in an accented Spanish) goes something like this:

-Ramiro, what are you thankful for?

-I’m thankful for the engine, and its 240 horsepower; the heated seats and the heated steering wheel… an 8-inch smart touchscreen…

[DIALOGUE FADES]

I’m a bit suspicious about these particular Latinos as I would only be thankful for tamales. But hey, that’s me!

Now. What are YOU thankful for?

 

Texas Water Agency Thinks this Poster Is in Spanish

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A small brouhaha erupted this week on Twitter after @LeChanclé posted this image (left) and tagged the North Texas Municipal Water District (NTWD) with the following message:

“With so many Spanish speaking people in Texas, the @ntmwd  thinks it’s better to google translate their campaign than hiring someone to do the job. This ad makes no sense in Spanish.”

And he’s right. The text MAKES NO SENSE whatsoever, but to make matters worse, the agency quickly responded by saying the message had been translated from English by an advertising agency and that, well, “translations into other languages are never exact.”

Really NTMWD? One thing is to take some liberties to help the message get across but Agua Tejano? Mantenerlo en el grifo?  I’m not even going to go into the whole “agua is feminine” and all that, but get your act together. Fire your agency or something and help us save water –and a good human translator!

 

Evo Morales Flies to Mexico Wrapped in Mexican Flag; Hilarity Ensues

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Why settle for a flag when you can have something more… interesting?

Evo Morales, the former president of Bolivia who resigned under pressure from protesters and the military, flew to Mexico City on November 11th after the country’s top foreign official confirmed he had been granted asylum in the country.

In a tweet sent out on Tuesday night. Mexico’s Foreign Minister Marcelo Ebrard confirmed Mr. Morales was safe on a Mexican military plane after being granted asylum. Mr. Ebrard’s tweet included a a photo of Mr. Morales inside said plane and proudly holding a Mexican flag against his body.

As the news of the asylum spread on social media and elsewhere, the photo of Mr. Morales became a viral sensation after Vampipe, one of Mexico’s most prolific tuiteros –and master of memes– asked his followers to help turn Evo’s flag into something more… warm using the hashtag #CobijaEvo. (Cobija is Spanish for blanket.) The resulting images are, well, hilarious.

Just follow the hashtag #CobijaEvo for more Evo in Mexico fun…

From CNET en Español.

Is this Mexican Taquería Peddling Vegan Tacos or Guacamole with no Green Peas? 🤔

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Taco Inn, one of Mexico City’s many ubiquitous taquerías, has jumped on the vegan bandwagon with what looks to be meat-looking meatless tacos.

A promo image posted recently by a Twitter user looks to promote a set of vegan tacos for $99 pesos with the legend: sINN chIcharoNN  (obviously playing with the taquería’s name (Inn) to spell out the phrase without pork skin (sin chicharrón.)

However, on closer inspection and by missing an “r” on the word “chicharrón” it looks as if Taco Inn is saying their guacamole has no chícharos (green peas,) which is making this blogger scratch her head in confusion:

Has the failing New York Times gone too far with this hideous thing?

Hat tip: @EdgarNunezM

 

Shanti Ananda Is Dead: RIP Walter Mercado

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Adiós, Walter Mercado

Famed astrologer Walter Mercado passed away on the night of Nov. 2, 2019 in his natal Puerto Rico. According to multiple press reports, the flamboyant astrologer/actor/writer was in a bad shape for some time and finally perished from an apparent kidney failure.

Mercado, who had to change his name to Shanti Ananda following a bizarre legal battle, was known not only for his extravagant, sequin capes and shiny jewelry, but for sending his millions of followers a lot of amor and good fortunes in his daily horoscope readings.

Followers to this blogger will know I was particularly fond of the extravagant way he delivered his horoscope readings, like this time around Valentine’s Day when he had some good stuff to announce for us Taurus, “sons of Venus.”

Adiós, pues, Shanti-Walter whatever. Go read my mom her daily horoscope and rest in peace and with mucho, mucho, mucho… amor. 

This Beer Wants to Pay Homage to Aguas Frescas –for Some Reason 🙄

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Just when you thought marketers couldn’t get any more creative, a new partnership is here to bring us Mural, a “joint homage to the classic agua fresca that also pushes the boundaries of what a beer can be.”

Mural is a joint effort between New Belgium Brewing Company and Mexico-based artisanal beer makers Cervecería Primus and, in what seems to be a very serious description of their product, one learns that:

“In Mexico, agua fresca is everywhere. They’re usually found in street food markets and feature a blend of seasonal fruits. Our cerveza takes inspiration from agua frescas and features hibiscus, agave, watermelon, and lime for a fresh, vibrant sip.”

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to have to pass on this promised vibrant sip. ¡Guácala!

Photo: @LeChancle