Coffee Mate Preps Telenovela, Because Why the Hell Not?

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CremaNot content with bringing my people (the Hispanics) a line of Latin-inspired creamers, Nestle’s Coffee Mate tonight is premiering a telenovela: Crema con aroma de café, presumably because only a good, steamy drama will compel us to put chemically-processed stuff into our café sin leche.

Coffee Mate’s webnovela premieres tonight at 9PM EST/6 PM PST somewhere on Facebook.

This blogger might be busy doing other, equally important, things (i.e. looking for a date  on Walter Mercado’s new dating site.) But, heck, don’t let me stop you.

Here’s a preview. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I kind of love the name of this thing, though. There, I said it.

Quick! Someone Tell Fresh&Co this is NOT what Poblano Food Looks Like

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PueblaVegan
This photo has been shamelessly stolen from my friend’s FB wall

If you happen to walk around New York City these days, you’ll likely find huge signs advertising the latest “vegan” creation from Fresh&Co.: The Puebla Vegan Grilled Cheese, a “black bean & corn salad, smashed avocado, vegan cheese sandwich on sourdough bread.”

And while it’s tempting to think you’ll be enjoying a delicious, healthy meal from the state of Puebla –which is actually ground zero for amazing Mexican food– well, you wouldn’t.

I’m sorry to disappoint y’all, but this is what food from Puebla actually looks like:

puebla

 

Get Ready for ‘Playboy Latino;’ Hopefully More Virgins on Cover

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playboylogoSpeaking of Latino spin-offs of non-Latino publications, Playboy is partnering with a Spanish-language publisher in the U.S. to launch Playboy Latino, which I believe is going to be like the regular Playboy but -ahem- Latino.

Per a press release:

Playboy Latino will be published predominantly in Spanish and will feature a mix of original content, as well as pictorials and articles from the Playboy archives that will be repackaged for a Latino audience.

I don’t know you, but that whole bit about repackaged pictorials sounds really enticing.

I just hope they live up to the standards of the great Playboy Mexico, which famously put the Virgin Mary on its cover.

virgin2

Playboy Latino is expected to come to your Latino neighborhood as soon as December. So stay tuned. I promise you guys a first-take on this thing, which I’ll read for pure informational/blogging reasons, of course.

Unshocking Revelation: Sofía is ‘Variety Latino’ Top Latina

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SofiaNumberOne

No Hispanic Heritage Month would be complete without a list of the most influential Latinos in Hollywood, so thanks Variety Latino, for putting that together.

According to Variety Latino, which is like regular Variety, but Latino, there are 20 Latinos who fit the bill as the most powerful/influential Latinos in Hollywood (uff, that’s a Latino mouthful.)

The list –which Variety says was not based on money earned– included 10 men and 10 women, among which is my favorite, retro-acculturated Latina: Eva Longoria (aka La Prieta Faya).

Number one of the list…. chan, chan! Sofía Vergara, who is richer and prettier than all of us.

Well, you have to give it to Variety Latino for not putting her on a rotating pedestal or anything.

Who Wants to Smell Like Hugo Chávez and Ché Guevara?

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ErnestoHugoPerfumesFrom the #NotTheOnion archives of this venerable blog, come the new “Ernesto” and “Hugo” fragrances, created in honor of -who else?- Ernesto “Ché” Guevara, and the late Hugo Chávez himself.

“Ernesto” is being described as having a touch of “wood,” while “Hugo” is “softer, with a touch of subtle, tropical scents.”

This is not a joke, you people. It’s the creation of a serious Cuban enterprise, Labiofam, whose founder spoke personally to my friend Andrea Rodríguez, of AP in Havana.

Now you know.

‘Cristela’ is a Latin-themed TV Show I Might Actually Watch

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'Cristela' stars Mexican-American comedienne Cristela Alonzo
‘Cristela’ stars Mexican-American comedienne Cristela Alonzo

Mexican-American comedienne Cristela Alonzo might not be as stunning as Sofía Vergara -and chances are the EMMY Academy will never put her on a rotating pedestal.

However, judging from the following trailer -and description- of the upcoming ABC comedy Cristela, she has the potential to help restore my faith in Latino-themed programming for the so-called English-language crowd.

Per a press release:

Cristela is in her 6th year of law school (having juggled family obligations and worked multiple jobs to pay her way); she lands an internship at a prestigious Dallas law firm.  She lives with her sister, her brother-in-law, their two young kids, and her old-school mom. Felix’s cousin and co-worker, Alberto flirts shamelessly with Cristela, but the only feeling she has for him is a shared passion for the Dallas Cowboys.

Well that sounds interesting. Let’s see if the show actually delivers and makes us all want more -or suffer the fate of so many other “Latino TV projects.”

It premieres Oct. 10, so I will -of course- be watching and keep you guys posted.

JLo’s ‘Booty’ Is Proof that Latinas are Proud of their Buttocks

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JLOBooty

Pay no attention to all the hoopla about stereotyping Latinas as sexy, hot and curvy individuals. In fact, and judging from Booty, the latest artistic creation of our own Jennifer Lopez, we are not only proud of our behinds, but spend quite a bit of time, money and effort showcasing them to the whole wide world. Just WATCH.

Oh, and while you’re at it, you might want to see proof that eating chips and guacamole for breakfast does wonders for your figure.

So… ¡a mover la colita y a desayunar guacamole!

Estrella TV Premieres Show Featuring Rich, Desperate Latinas

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RicaFamosa2

Latina, Rica, Famosa is Estrella TV’s answer to the Real Housewives franchise, except this new reality show features five “beautiful, successful Latinas that invite you all the way to their living room -and bedroom- to see what they are really made of.”

I must confess I have not seen this thing, but judging from the promo -below- and other Spanish-language TV spinoffs out there, including this and this, I think I will pass.

There’s already too much desperation in my own, real, Latin life…