You might dismiss Don Francisco as your abuela television icon, but his star power seems to be at its highest (and his energy certainly surpasses that of the “other aged Cuban“). Proof of this is tomorrow’s show, which will feature none other than Michelle Obama herself.
Alas, the U.S. First Lady will be discussing post-secondary education and the financial support available to students who complete the FAFSA, among other ‘unexciting’ things.
Per a Univision press release:
Appearing as part of her Reach Higher initiative, the First Lady will share her own story of pursuing and financing her higher education, and will join Secretary Duncan in encouraging Hispanic students to apply for the financial aid available to them.
Is it too much to ask Don Francisco to have FLOTUS engage in some of Sábado Gigante’s more fun stuff like the Miss Colita Pageant or at least the Mamacita one?
Univision, please? I promise to watch and keep my sarcastic comments to myself –or not.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you must have noticed that everybody and their abuela have -for some reason- taken an unusual interest in fighting ALS by challenging one another to take the Ice Bucket Challenge, dumping a bucket of ice water on their heads.
Ok, so fine. Everybody wants their 30 seconds of fame while pretending to care about a noble cause. Nothing wrong with that, I guess, but the Ice Bucket craziness has gotten so out of control, that Univision has jumped on it; not to donate to ALS, but to its own cause: the Televisa/Univision sanctioned TeletonUSA, an annual 24-plus-hour TV and radio broadcast to raise money for children’s rehabilitation centers.
Per an Aug. 21, 2014 tweet by Univision Sports anchor Félix Fernández, a donation of US$200 was deposited to the account of the Alcancía Digital (aka as the official account of TeletonUSA) upon taking the now famed Ice Bucket Challenge live, on camera and narrated by none other than Univision’s own Perro Bermúdez. [Watch the video here]
Here’s the original tweet by Univision Sports commentator Felix Fernández touting the deposit upon taking the Challenge,making it very clear that the funds were not deposited to ALS but to TeletonUSA.
I guess at this point everyone is entitled to dump cold water on their head and support whatever the hell they feel like supporting. I, for one, will take a freezing shower right now, just to clear my head from so much Internet silliness.
Aleyda Ortiz [center] on Sunday was crowned Univision’s 8th Nuestra Belleza Latina, a title I’m sure comes with tons of responsibilities but also many perks, including cash prizes and jumping into a hot tub with a 50-plus married Cuban-American man: Univision star Raúl “El Gordo” de Molina.
I’m sure many more successes await the Puerto Rican beauty. ¡Qué viva la boricua, pues!
Univision today confirmed that Metástasis, the Spanish-language adaptation of Breaking Bad will premiere Sunday, June 8 at 10 p.m. ET/PT on Univision, UniMás and Galavision simultaneously.
Following the advice of this blogger, Univision and its partners decided to change Walter White’s name to -what else?- Walter Blanco. Unfortunately, the super awesome Jessee Pinkman will NOT become Jesús Hombre Rosado -as I had suggested- but a boring José Miguel.
I can only hope Univision will reconsider my advice of naming Saul Goodman “Saúl Buenhombre” and Crazy 8, “Loc-Ochón.” (Another idea would be to replace Goodman altogether for the lawyers over at Meta un sú.)
Otherwise, I’m afraid I’ll pass on the Hispanic Breaking Bad and will instead go back binge watching on the regular Breaking Bad.
Looks like Univision decided NOT to listen to me, so it went ahead to launch Flama, an English-language video channel, which according to ADWEEK, has “an eye on Hispanics between ages 15 and 30,” (aka Hispanic millennials.)
The channel, which is being sponsored by condom maker Trojan and Big Mac maker McDonald’s, features videos on comedy, music, lifestyle and sports.
The following video -inexplicably tagged as comedy- is a 4-minute-plus rant about what non-Latinos should expect from dating a Latina. And no, you don’t have to spend 4:09 minutes of your life watching it.
I watched it entirely, so you don’t have to and here’s the gist of it:
Latinas are crazy
Dating a Latina will make you fat (even if they cook with Mazola)
We love to cook tamales and pozole and quesadillas
If you are going to be in a relationship with a Latina, you should consider joining Weight Watchers
We [Latinas] are clingy
We are like your probation officer but with sex -and frijoles
Or, you can watch… But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Earlier today, a couple of friends forwarded me a press release put out by Dallas-based Pizza Patrón pizza chain and urged me to do -or rather, write- something about it. The headline was attractive enough for me to pay attention:
At the heart of the matter was the refusal of “a number” of Spanish-language radio stations to air an upcoming radio spot for Pizza Patron’s new jalapeño-stuffed pizza. The reason? The name of such pizza, “La chingona” apparently does not sit well among executives at the radio stations and is considered un-apt for the good ol’ Latino family.
My immediate reaction was: Really?!?… Actually, that’s not accurate: My immediate reaction was: ¡No chinguen!
As a native of Mexico City, I grew up listening -and learning to master- all forms and variations of the noun chingada and the verb chingar. See? Growing up in Mexico, you don’t say “Damn it!” when things don’t go according to plan, you say Me lleva la chingada. Same when someone is getting on your case, you don’t ask him/her to bugger off, but instead say Chinga tu madre. When you are supremely awesome and superior (i.e. like yours truly) you simply say Soy muy chingona… etc. etc. The concept is so wonderfully rich, that even Octavio Paz wrote an entire essay about la chingada: Los hijos de la Malinche.
But I digress… According to the aforementioned press release, Pizza Patrón was informed that its new ad campaign “would not be permitted to air on a number of major radio networks,” because the word chingona is considered a profanity and presumably would offend the Great Catholic -and Well-Behaved- Latino Family in America.
Readers of my blog know I’m not fast-food’s best friend. In fact, I live a somehow happy life free of frito-stuffed sandwiches or jalapeño-stuffed pizzas. But to cry “profanity” for using a harmless, beautiful word like chingona in an ad campaign to tout a “chingona pizza” just makes me want to scream:
If you thought Subway’s Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt was as culturally relevant as the fast-food chain was going to get, think again.
In the latest example that Hispanic-targeted marketing knows no limits, Subway Restaurants this week announced a partnership with Univision to “seamlessly integrate Subway products and restaurants into Televisa’s hit telenovela Qué pobres tan ricos (Poor, But Rich).
The first integration, say the partners, will show one of the characters surprising another with a Subway $5 Footlong.
Per a joint Univision-Subway press release:
“This integration allows us to reach Hispanic audiences in an engaging and authentic way,” says Gabriela Mangieri Harper, multicultural marketing manager at Subway.
Because everybody knows that, to effectively reach Hispanic audiences, there is nothing more authentic than a Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt
It took me forever to admit this. But I am a sucker for Latinos speaking with an accent. So instead of going for some serious journalistic outlet or other kind of Pulitzer-prize-winning publication, I am going to be watching #SOTUS with the adorably accented Jorge Ramos and occasionally switching to an irreverent Talking Hot Dog (who is now sort of my Twitter buddy.)
Oh, and did I mention I am NOT a so-called #millennial?
I don’t know you, but every time I see the Fusion logo, I feel like running to my nearest bodega and grab a Fanta de tamarindo.
But I digress…
Fusion, the ABC News/Univision joint cable net, has confirmed it will launch on October 28 to champion a “smart, diverse and inclusive America.” And, I couldn’t be happier: As I said before: I can’t wait to watch English-language programming in an accent I can actually understand.
UPDATE: The millennials over at Fusion (the Hispennials) are challenging this post, telling me that what Weiner said was: “Entre YO y mi esposa” and not “Entre New York y mi esposa.” On the other hand, my friend thinks he actually said: “Entre mi schlong y mi esposa.” SO PLEASE TAKE THE POLL. Help miblogestublog make some sense out of this very important matter.
So Anthony Weiner went to Despierta América this morning to set the record straight (and in Spanish, mind you) about the Anthony Weiner Penis-Gate (or as Univision’s Satcha Pretto elegantly put it: Su comportamiento erótico en la Internet.
Weiner was clearly annoyed by Pretto’s insistence in talking about his private parts (i.e. his Tweeter-famous penis.) But very quickly -and skillfully, may I add- the Mayoral candidate managed to get himself out of the entire mess by assuring her (and millions of Univision viewers) that the whole Anthony Weiner Penisgate was nothing but “an error between New York and my wife.” (JUMP TO MINUTE 1:16)
Way to get out of one big mess, Carlos Danger!
Click on the photo to watch the entire interview or click here:
Take James Fulford, a writer over at anti-immigration, anti-multiculturalism, anti-coherence online community Vdare, who recently took to the web to denounce “upper-class, disloyal Hispanic journalists (specifically Univision’s Cristina Costantini) for “campaigning to import lower class illegals—who won’t live in their neighborhoods.”
According to Fulford, Costantini –whom he refers to as “Cosantini” for some reason– is totally biased in favor of immigrants, because (duh!) she works at Fusion, a company partly owned by Univision, which in turn is “owned” by none other than the “cute-as-a-button* blue-eyed, Mexican journalist Jorge Ramos.”
Way to go, Mr. Fulford! I’m adding your website to my list of favorites; it is not very often that racist, ignorant remarks make me laugh so hard that I almost choked on my gordita de chicharrón.
As I reported a few days ago on Portada Online, Univision soon will debut Flama, a “digital destination that promises culturally relevant content targeting Hispanic millennials.”
So far so good. As most Spanish-speakers know, “flama” is Spanish for “flame,” which I think is a great name for a Hispanic media outlet. However, a simple Wikipedia search, informs us that FLAMA is also the acronym of:
The Frente de Libertação do Arquipélago da Madeira (English: Madeira Archipelago Liberation Front), a right-wingterroristparamilitary organisation from Madeira, whose main goal was to achieve Madeira’s independence from mainlandPortugal.
Wait. What?!
I’m sure Univision’s Flama has absolutely nothing to do with a paramilitary organization in Madeira, but just in case, it might be safer to be really “millennial” about it and just call it “Flame?”
Miblogestublog CEO and a bunch of blurry people who insisted on taking a picture with her.
This is exhausting! In addition to covering this week’s Hispanic TV Upfronts for these guys and these guys, I had to save some juicy details for the not-so-serious side of the 3-day-marathon of parties, parties and parties, programming presentations, interviews and business meetings.
* Hispanic TV Upfront week started May 13 with two networks, Azteca America and Estrella TV, holding “intimate dinners” at the exact same time in two very distant places, presumably to keep me from attending either. But, as you all know by now, I’m a sneaky Mexican and managed to attend both.
* Estrella TV brought to dinner at Tao Restaurant its most recent acquisition, Myrka Dellanos, who looked amazing and who is now going to be news anchoring instead of selling toothpaste.
* As it has been the case before, I crashed the People en Español party at Marquee, which was OK, but not nearly as as glamorous and/or fun as previous years. However, beggars can’t be chosers, so I shut up now. Besides, I must continue to be nice to them, especially to Elvis Lizardo, who famously calls me “The Mexican glue that keep us all together.”
Marlon Moreno and Hernán Lopez, uno más guapo que el otro
* After surveilling the venue for some famous bellos, I realized celebrities are not the only beautiful bunch, so I proceded to propose People en Español Editor ArmandoCorrea a co-production of “Los 50 ejecutivos más bellos del mercado latino,” a list that would be curated by @miblogestublog -of course, and published and promoted by Time Inc. or someone with that kind of money. I’m thinking MundoFox’ Hernán López should go on the cover, while Telemundo’s Peter Blacker will take the back cover, though I’m still not sure. Other execs being considered: Mundo Fox’ Oswald Mendez, Telemundo’s Emilio Romano and Fusion’s Miguel Ferrer. [This blog is accepting submissions now.]
* Tuesday events kicked off at 11:00 am at The New Amsterdam Theatre, where Univision held a lavish presentation for over 1,600 guests.
* Pretty much all those 1,600 guests then walked or took buses to Univision’s after party, which took place at ESPACE, where there was not a lot of “espace” nor food to feed all those hungry mouths. At some point, many attendees grew restless and angry as waiter after waiter kept passing in front of us with trays full of food, but destined to “VIP’s only.” That didn’t stop me, however, so I quickly managed to get a hold of a VERY VIP name tag (above) in order to secure some mini-burgers.
* The stunt didn’t work and I had to settle for a peanut butter cookie that surely contained about 5,325 calories.
* Since it secured me no food whatsoever, my Randy Falco name tag made a second appearance later that night at the Telemundo upfront in Lincoln Center, where it was not as well received as I had imagined. I still wore it to go say ‘hi’ to NBCU’s Chairman of Hispanic Ventures Joe Uva, who requested my immediate removal from the premises. [I stayed.]
* The marathon continued Wednesday with a noon presentation by Fox Hispanic Media at Alice Tully Hall in Lincoln Center. The presentation included FHM’s four networks: Fox Deportes, Fox Life, Nat Geo Mundo and Mundo Fox. It attracted some big talent, including Bárbara Mori, Marlon Moreno, Mario Lopez and Oscar de la Hoya, who came onstage not wearing fishnet stockings but a pair of cowboy boots.
* After a presentation that seemed to last hours, most of us headed East towards Vme’s upfront at the Instituto Cervantes. Under new management, Vme hosted a small, intimate, sit-down presentation in a dark basement with no cellular signal whatsoever, making it the perfect setting for a much needed afternoon nap. (I caught several executives and members of the media happily snoring away, but I decided not to publish their names, mostly because it wouldn’t be fair and because I was also fast asleep.)
The Elevator’s Daniel Salcedo and me, before my Vme nap
* The marathon ended Wednesday night with a much-needed, circus-themed party hosted by Viacom’s Tr3s and headlined by Daddy Yankee, who made even the most stiff media executive shake his/her hips. EXTRA BONUS POINT for Tr3s, which spared us the power points and the data on Hispanic TV audience growth, etc. etc. etc.
This is Daddy Yankee in a very bad photo taken by @bathtubmedia
Yet, my favorite moment this week came at the Tr3s party when I was able to capture the following shot, featuring the great Eduardo Caballero, the father, grandfather, godfather of Hispanic media, and Ari Madrid, probably the craziest -and smartest- millennial I’ve ever met and one of the youngest entrants to this business.
Caballero changed the media world once. Ari will change it forever.
Media revolucionarios. Eduardo Caballero & Ariadna Madrid
Univision’s upfront presentation Tuesday in New York City included some surprises and lots of more-of-the-same programming announcements.
There were some humorous moments, though, including a collective seizure (i.e. Harlem Shake) performed by Steve Mandala and his top sales team. However, this blogger’s favorite moment has got to be this AT&T spoof spot in which Univision CEO Randy Falco asks four adorable, non-Hispanic children what’s better, more or less?.
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