If you thought you had seen it all in Hispanic marketing, wait ’till you hear about the latest from Weber-Stephen Products Co., which this week launched a Hispanic grilling contest, calling on participants to demonstrate their “patriotic spirit and passion for grilling” by entering the “Únete a la Onda Latina. ¡a Weber!” grilling contest.

According to a company a media advisory, Hispanic grillers will have until Aug. 18 to participate and win two round-trip airline tickets to a selected destination in Latin-American [SIC], among other goodies, including a professional grilling class.

And just so you know, the same company that is sending the lucky winners to Latin-American is asking participants to send original recipes and a short video demonstrating their grilling skills with “clarity of expression.”

I would love to share my grilling experience with Weber but, alas, I live in a 9th floor apartment in Manhattan (no balcony). But, I hope they will accept this picture of a “free grill” that a friend of a friend of a friend forwarded some time ago for no apparent reason and which I saved also for not apparent reason.

You know how we Latinos are. If it’s not tequila or beer (very cold by the way) we just don’t seem to like anything, much less water. But worry no more! Hispanic marketers -as always- come to the rescue, this time with “Aloa-enhanced bottled watter.”

In a recent effort to tap the “giant Hispanic consumer market”, a company in Corpus Christi, Texas, has launched Everest Extra With Aloe, a new bottled water enhanced with Aloe, that “misterious” plant we Hispanics insist on putting everywhere.

The beverage officially was launched at last week’s Hispanic Retail conference in Dallas, Texas and is being pitched for the abundant health properties of Aloe “particularly in the Hispanic culture,” said the company in a press release.

Pssst marketers: Want Latinos to drink more water? put a little rum in it. We’ll drink it!

“I definitely want my children to know Spanish. That’s important. It’s something that I want to start speaking early on in the house, so I’m brushing up on my Spanish and taking out my lesson tapes on tour.”

Christina Aguilera in her most recent interview with In-Style magazine. The singer, who just found out she is expecting a girl, is due sometime in December. How about taking some extra clothes along with her tapes?

Want to sell stuff in Mexico? Reach out to Jesus Christ.

That is exactly what computer retailer Compumac did to pitch its MacMerchandise in Queretaro, one of Mexico’s most pious cities: an image of Jesus wearing the ubiquitous white earphones begs: “Father forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing,” presumably referring to those buying non-authorized stuff. “Buy your iPod from an authorized retailer.”

Is there anything sacred? … Jesus!

(photo: Reforma.com)

Here’s a good one. Macy’s department this week said it will no longer sell a T-shirt that turned out to offend the same people it was intended to please: Latino shoppers.

Such offending T-shirt, which sold for $24.95, reads “Brown is the New White,” which was deemed just too much for Latinos to take. In a statement, the company did not mention such an item by its name but said “We apologize if customers have found some of the merchandise offensive and have removed the style that they found objectionable.”

Macy’s may have pulled the “objectionable” T-Shirt but the controversy goes on at a dedicated FoxNews blog with Latinos seriously divided over the issue: while some are calling on a general Macy’s boycott, others claim the T-Shirt is actually pretty cool (and don’t get them started on Black Power-labeled clothing.)

As for myself, I’m still stunned… $24.95 for a crummy Made-in-El Salvador T-Shirt? you gotta be kidding me!

You know how smelly children can get –especially if they are Hispanic. But thankfully there are marketers out there who never stop working to bring us the best of their market research translated into products we didn’t know we needed so bad.

So now, and after what seems to be yet another research breakthrough, Disney is launching Pirates of the Caribbean and Buzz Lightyear fragrances, targeting –who else?– Latino boys ages 4-11.

According to Brandweek, the new Disney fragrances will retail between $9.95 and $19.95 and will hit the shelves by September (mmm, just in time for Hispanic Heritage Month). And as it happens so often with these product launches, they are expected to fill an untapped market with “huge potential.” Or, as a Disney executive herself put it: “U.S. males are slower to get into the men’s fragrance arena than European, Latin [sic] and South American men.”

I don’t know about you, but I still remember the smell of my male companions in my Mexico City elementary school: a delicious blend of chalk, pencils, sweat and Pan Bimbo sandwiches. I am not sure my childhood memories would be as strong had they worn a Disney fragrance.