Peña Nieto to Meet Obama, Harper Today. This Blogger Will Secure Proper ‘Subtituleishon’

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Enrique Peña Nieto (aka as the Savior of Mexico) will meet today in Toluca with President Barack Obama and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

But despite all the good vibes and buena onda around this meeting, I’m genuinely worried about Mr. Peña Nieto’s poor command of the English language. So, even though I didn’t vote for the chap, nor I think he is saving Mexico, I’d like to take this opportunity to offer him my services as a professional simultaneous translator; or if he so prefers, to facilitate proper subtituleishon for his speech  -which I’m sure will be historic.

Said subtituleishon will look a little bit like this:

I Got Exclusive Access to the Obama-Peña Nieto Agenda

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EPN_Obama_Mex

Unless you’ve been living under a rock –or have lost your body and soul to Flappy Bird— President Barack Obama is to visit Enrique Peña Nieto (aka as the Savior of Mexico) this week in Toluca, Mexico, and –as it has now become a tradition– this blogger got exclusive access to the one-day agenda.

For the uninitiated, Peña Nieto is married to Angélica Rivera, a hot blond Latina, who once starred in one of Univision’s highest-rated novelas: Destilando Amor, which by the way was so awesome and successful, it even earned me a byline in none other than The New York Post.

Oh, and in case you were wondering: This is not the first time these two get together. Mr. Peña Nieto first visited Obama in November 2012 at the White House, giving this blogger an opportunity to offer simultaneous subtituleishon.

50 Shades of Gray… Hispanic Marketing Edition

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The folks over at GrandeLASH products were so eager to peddle its “outrageous” GrandeLASH mascara to Spanish-speaking Latinas, they picked up the first dictionary they came across and looked for the Spanish translation of the word “lash.”

Per WordReference:

Screen Shot 2014-02-17 at 12.18.34 PM

And so this happened:

Latigazos

I don’t know you, but I don’t like latigazos –neither before nor after– I go to “accost.” And don’t get me started on restalleos…

Hat tip: Mi blog Senior Correspondent @LParavano

‘Time’ Puts Mexico’s President on Cover. Hilarity Ensues.

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sellingMexico

Time Magazine had the super terrific idea to put Mexico’s President Enrique Peña Nieto on the cover of its Feb. 24 cover (most likely knowing that it would stir controversy, especially among my people.)

While I’m not going to get all political or bitchy here as I would like too (who has the time?) I just wanted to take the opportunity to highlight -once again- how wonderfully witty Mexicans can be.

The following are only very few of the many ‘memes’ already making the rounds on the Internet. Enjoy!

I don’t know you but

Univision Telenovela Will Now Feature Footlong Sandwiches

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QuepobrestanricosIf you thought Subway’s Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt was as culturally relevant as the fast-food chain was going to get, think again.

In the latest example that Hispanic-targeted marketing knows no limits, Subway Restaurants this week announced a partnership with Univision to “seamlessly integrate Subway products and restaurants into Televisa’s hit telenovela Qué pobres tan ricos (Poor, But Rich).

The first integration, say the partners, will show one of the characters surprising another with a Subway $5 Footlong.

Per a joint Univision-Subway press release:

“This integration allows us to reach Hispanic audiences in an engaging and authentic way,” says Gabriela Mangieri Harper, multicultural marketing manager at Subway.

Because everybody knows that, to effectively reach Hispanic audiences, there is nothing more authentic than a Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt

Some Dude in Chicago Raised Money to Graph the Deliciousness of a Burrito

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burritograph

Have you ever felt compelled to rate the deliciousness of a burrito? I’m sure you have, so I have good news for you: Some basket case guy in Chicago set up a Kickststarter page to fund The Burrito Graph Project, whose ultimate goal is to rate the deliciousness of a Chipotle burrito and create a graph to express said deliciousness.

The genius behind this very important endeavor is Noboru Bitoy, who assures us he did not receive any support from the Chipotle chain (where the Burrito Graph Project was conducted). Instead, he successfully raised $171, which made possible the completion of the project.

All we have to do now is sit tight and wait until March, which is when the Deliciousness Burrito Graphic is expected to be posted in all its glory.

Via: CNET

Mexican Beatles Recreate ‘Abby Road’ for a Good Cause

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MexicanBeatlesMiBlog

For the uninitiated, Los Supercívicos is a group of concerned residents, who use comedy to watch the streets of Mexico City and, for the most part, scold apathetic cops and reckless drivers.

In a recent clip, Los Supercívicos decided to incarnate The Beatles (Mexican-English accent included) and recreate Abbey Road’s album cover to help pedestrians cross the maddening streets of my birth city.

Hat tip: Romina González

OMG, you Guys! The ‘Hispanic Wal-Mart’ is Shutting Down

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mas-club-logoOn the heels of the unshocking announcement that CNN Latino is to shut down later this month, more bad news about Hispanic things are coming to the Hispanic world of Hispanics in the U.S.

According to The Packer, a trade publication you’ve probably never heard of, Wal-Mart plans to pull the plug on its lone Más Club pilot store.

In case you don’t know, Más Club was an 87,000-square-foot warehouse store (similar to a Sam’s Club) but carried more Hispanic-focused products, presumably Hispanic cheese, Mexican Coke, Cuban sandwiches, Pringles Tortillas, Hispanic lettuce and the like. A Hispanic Sam’s Club if you will.

This is a bummer, because I guess my people will have to settle for shopping at a regular, non-Latino Wal-Mart. But hey! Not everything is sad news: Very soon, we will be able to get our entertainment from Variety Latino, and not from the regular Variety. And if this doesn’t cheer us up enough, we should always remember that 2014 has been coined as the Year of the Latino by Fox News Latino.

¡Sí, señor!

[In the meantime, I will backtrack on a previous plan to change the name of this blog to Latino Mi blog es tu blog. I’m sure it will not last one week under that moniker.

Are You Ready for Pringles Tortillas?

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pringles-tortilla-chips

Only one day after I discovered -in horror- the existence of the Frito-stuffed Chicken Enchilada Melt, I learned that Pringles is quietly introducing a a new line of chips called Pringles Tortillas.

In case you’re wondering, (I’m sure you are) the Pringles tortilla chips come in three flavors: Truly Original, Nacho Cheese, and Southwestern Ranch. You might also want to know (I do) that Walmart also carries “Zesty Salsa” as an exclusive flavor.

To promote the Pringles Tortillas, the company is using the tagline Pop, Crunch, Olé! because as everybody knows, “Olé” is a typical Spanish expression that Spanish-speaking people in Spanish-speaking Spain use while enjoying a really good tortilla…

Oh, no… Wait.

Never mind.

Move Over, Dori Taco; Here Comes the Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt

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The Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt arrives in Harlem
The Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt arrives in Harlem

And just when I thought American “food” couldn’t get any more delicious and/or culturally-relevant, Subway has launched yet another disgusting awesome Hispanic-themed, culturally-relevant crunchy concoction.

According to the company, the Fritos Chicken Enchilada Melt, which debuted this weekend in my neighborhood, consists of “a pile of Fritos placed right on top of tender pulled chicken and authentic enchilada sauce.” Hell, yeah!

I’m not even sure what “authentic enchilada sauce” is (we don’t have that in Mexico, see?) but this sandwich is apparently so promising, that Subway had to squeeze a last-minute :30-spot (estimated US$4 million) to place a spot aptly dubbed Crunch Time to air during tonight’s Super Bowl.

I hope you enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday, even if you have to do so with non-Mexican, greasy, crunchy “food.”

Hat tip: Mi Blog es Tu Blog Tropical Correspondent @tropicarlitos

Forget about Mattel’s. This is the Real Barbie Mexicana

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MexicanBarbieReal

Mexican native Omar Ariel Cortés has created a Facebook page showcasing a world in which Mattel’s famous Barbie doll leaves her magical world to join a more sinister one: the world of drug dealing, breast cancer, single motherhood, prostitution and migration, mostly from a Mexican perspective.

I do not know this guy, but I think some of these images are quite powerful. Besides, they are much more real than Mattel’s now infamous Mexican Barbie.

BarbieAlcohol

All images taken from Omar’s Facebook page.

 

I Don’t Know You, but I’ll be Watching #SOTUS with an Accent

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sotusJorgeramos

It took me forever to admit this. But I am a sucker for Latinos speaking with an accent. So instead of going for some serious journalistic outlet or other kind of Pulitzer-prize-winning publication, I am going to be watching #SOTUS with the adorably accented Jorge Ramos and occasionally switching to an irreverent Talking Hot Dog (who is now sort of my Twitter buddy.)

HotDog

Oh, and did I mention I am NOT a so-called #millennial?

Frito Lay Thinks Pico de Gallo Flavored Chips are a Good Idea

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lays-pico-de-gallo

I kind of like it when gringos go out of their way and tweak their menus and snacks to cater to “a more diverse America.”

Thanks to their relentless search for multicultural tasty perfection, we now have the Dunkin Donuts’ culturally-relevant Cuban sandwich, 7-Eleven’s Latin-inspired food and the millennial-targeted Doritos Dinamita to name only a few.

And now a new contender has arrived: Frito Lay’s Pico de Gallo flavored chips, which I’m sure will help the m lure the taste buds of my people (i.e. The Mexicans).

But if you are in the restaurant business, don’t think these papitas will help you lure more Hispanics to your establishment… This will, though. Enjoy the windfall.

Thank you @minsd for the tip.