Univision’s ‘Special Correspondent’ Grills President Obama on the Chimney Issue

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Grammy-award winning singer and member of Univision’s Board of Directors, Gloria Estefan, this week sat down with President Obama to discuss some of the most pressing issues concerning U.S. Hispanics, including health-care reform, immigration, Latinos in the economy and -of course- Christmas at the White House and cookies for the reindeer.

In fact, while still walking the halls of the Casa Blanca, Estefan fired up her first -and in her own words, “very important”- question for the Commander in Chief:

GLORIA ESTEFAN:
It’s very beautiful. And by the way, I have a very important question to start off this interview, which chimney will Santa be coming down?

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA:
Well, we think that he’s going to be coming down into the Yellow Room, which is right at the middle of the Residence. So, that’s where we are going to set the cookies and the milk, because after working all night, giving the gifts….

GLORIA ESTEFAN:
And something for the reindeers…

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA:
And the reindeers, we’ll have a little reindeer snack out there…

GLORIA ESTEFAN:
That’s wonderful…..

Ah, yes that is wonderful indeed! Feliz Navidad, morons!

It’s NOT the Network. It’s la Fiesta Total!

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I suppose my career counselor was right when he said advertising was not for me. Otherwise, how could I possibly explain my failure to conceive a creative piece like the one above? Showing mariachis and folkloric dancers to show your cellphone provider has coverage in Mexico??!

Shame on me.

Still, there are other creative pieces I like much better, at least in their use of the ubiquitous Mariachi, including French’s, Lucas and CNN Expansión. [Not to mention, of course, political campaigns like that of Miss Meg Whitman in California.]

Ajúa!

Adweek’s ‘Marketing Special’ Unveils Shocking Revelations About U.S. Hispanics

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Nielsen-owned Adweek, Brandweek and Mediaweek magazines, which -surprisingly- are still around, this week released a 5-page special advertising issue featuring some shocking revelations about U.S. Hispanic market, including:

-Hispanics are the fastest-growing demographic in the U.S.

-Famous Hispanics include Salma Hayek, Alex Rodriguez and Gloria Estefan

-Not all Hispanics are created equal; there are Mexicans, Dominicans, Cubans, Chileans, etc. etc. etc. z z z z z z z

-You can reach Hispanics in Spanish AND in English

-Hispanics don’t live in a vacuum [I suppose they live in apartments, houses or -as is increasingly the case- in mobile homes]

Turns out, the “special feature” is nothing but an advertising section, presumably (or shall I say, hopefully?) paid for Acento advertising and People en Español.

Phew!

Click on the following link if you are brave enough want to read the full report:

1130_HispanicMktg_lo_res

FULL DISCLOSURE (And before you think I’m just resented, here): I was the founding editor of Marketing y Medios, an English-language trade publication co-branded with Adweek, Mediaweek and Brandweek and I’m a regular blogger for AdAge.)

NALEO Wants you to Know Joseph and Mary Got Themselves Counted. And so Should You

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Behold this promotional ad for the 2010 Census, because if Evangelical leaders have their way, it might soon disappear from the face of the Earth.

The above poster is part of a broad campaign by the National Association of Latino Elected Officials (NALEO), urging Hispanics to make themselves counted in the upcoming Census. Because, really, what better way to get Latinos on your side than telling them Jesus was in fact born during a Census ordered by Caesar Augustus?

Alas, Christian leaders don’t find the thing amusing at all.

“The Bible establishes clearly that we are not supposed to use the name or God or Jesus in vain for any other purposes than worshiping,” Rev. Miguel Rivera, head of the National Coalition of Latino Clergy and Christian Leaders, told the Washington Post.

I don’t know you, but there’s something very puzzling to me about the whole thing: I mean, I do want to get myself counted but… where am I supposed to find a donkey?

Harlem Barber Shop Embraces Diversity

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I first bumped into this sign on November 25th, walking around West Harlem, happy to see “my people” were finally taking over a mostly Dominican neighborhood…

But then, I walked by that place again only to find this: What on Earth happened?

I have no idea, but as a fellow blogger and friend suggested: The first one is there to work on straight-hair customers, while the second one will take care of your curls.

Ah… isn’t diversity just wonderful?

Hot, Passionate, Illegal… and Fully Literate?

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Man, there was so much I didn’t know about Cristián de la Fuente, including the fact that he is prepping for the Dec. 29 release of Hot. Passionate. And Illegal (Penguin $24.99) a 304-page personal account of his experiences as a Latin person in the U.S.

According to Penguin:

“De la Fuente uses his personal and funny experiences as a Latino in Hollywood to dispel common myths and admit the sometimes embarrassing, yet endearing, truths about Latinos.”

Basically, what that means is: you will be paying $24.95 to learn about some “embarrassing, yet endearing, truths about Latinos,” something I’ve been doing for years (at absolutely no cost for you!)

So, if your financial situation is not looking very peachy, just stick to this blog, and uncover some embarrassing things about Latinos , including recent literate incursions here, here and here.

[See? I might not be very caliente or apasionada, but hey, at least I’m generous… And don’t get me started on the legal, illegal thing.]

Mexicans Rejoice! You Too Can Own The Diet Ring

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Adiós Dr. Manny!

Mexico’s chubby taco-crazed populace is abuzz with the recent introduction of The Diet Ring, an “intriguing magnetic spiral ring” that will help you lose up to 38 pounds in one week (even while you cook or lie down doing absolutely nothing!)

The contraption, developed by prominent “Oriental scientists” retails for “only” $399 pesos, which is approximately eight times Mexico’s minimum wage. But, what the heck! As happy customer Marcela Carrasco tells us in the following video, it is very well worth the expense.

[I just wonder if you lose weight because by buying the ring you can no longer afford buying any food]

Latinos and Republicans Share Same Values… And an Unbridled Passion for Mariachi Music and Hats

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In her ongoing campaign efforts to bring “a brighter future” to California, Meg Whitman wants Latinos to pick her as the state’s next governor. Why?

Simply because, as Whitman says herself: “Many Latinos share the values of the Republican Party: lower taxes, accountable government and a system that value systems that rewards innovation and entrepreneurial thinking,” and –from what I could gather in the following video– an unbridled enthusiasm for Mariachi music and gear.

Watch as she addresses a crowd at Cielito Lindo Restaurant, while being serenaded in the background by -what else?- a Mariachi band playing El Son de la Negra [or… shall we say El Son de la Afro-Americana?]

Hat tip: Blogadera

In a Coup Against the McSkillet, a Hispanic Chef Latinizes the Burger

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If you thought Latinos were going to stay on the sidelines after McDonald’s made the bold step to put its Big Mac on a tortilla, you were plain wrong.

In an unprecedented, culinary vindictive coup, Hispanics (in Miami, where else?) are striking back by launching the Latin Burger Truck, a kitchen on wheels featuring the $5.75 Latin Burger, a “blend of ground chuck, chorizo and sirloin, topped with melted Oaxaca cheese, caramelized onions and red-pepper mayo,” so that you, too, will be able to boost your cholesterol levels á la Latin style.

The Latin Burger on wheels is the brainchild of Ingrid Hoffman, the Colombia-born host of Simply Delicioso, a Food Network cooking show that (I hope) teaches us a little more than adding chorizo on American junk food.

Watch Out! Gringos Send UFO’s to Mexico Border

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And by UFO’s I mean to say Unmanned Flying Objects.

Just in time for this upcoming Season to be Jolly, the U.S. government has unveiled a “super” idea: It will begin using military predator drones to catch illegal immigrants along the U.S.-Mexico border. These babies, which are currently used by the military in Iraq and Afghanistan, cost only $13.5 million each, but can fire two AGM-114 Hellfire missiles… which must be like shit scary stuff.

[Chances are your Transborder Immigrant Tool will not be of much assistance in helping you make it across unscratched.]

Ah… Isn’t it satisfying to see your taxes being put to good use?

Hispanic New Yorkers Find Novel Way to Mess Up their Offspring

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If you thought U.S.-born Hispanics didn’t have enough tribulations, consider this: Their parents have found a novel way to screw them up from a very tender age, by giving them names their abuela (and probably themselves) will not be able to pronounce.

According to the New York City Department of Health, the most popular name among Hispanic males is now Jayden, surpassing the always popular Daniel and Michael, while Ashley is now a favorite among the little Latinas.

Other names in the top ten among Hispanics: Brandon, Genesis, Joshua and Brianna.

[And you want us to grow up like normal people?]

What ever happened to José and Lupita?

Pancho Villa is About to Look This Sexy

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Because I’m sure you’re wondering what Johnny Depp and Emir Kusturica are up to….

The most beautiful man in the world (according to this blogger, of course) has been tapped by the Serbian director to play Pancho Villa in the upcoming film Seven Friends of Pancho Villa and the Woman With Six Fingers, a movie I know nothing about, but I’m sure will make Depp look a bit sexier than Willy Wonka.

Oh, and in case you were wondering: Salma Hayek -who else- will be playing the woman with six fingers (which makes me want to stick one up to her out of pure envy.)

No Green Card?????… No Toys for You!

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Well, it looks like Santa will not be showing his gentle, white face to thousands of children in the Houston area.

The reason? Some local charities are asking whether children are in the country legally before giving them toys.

According to the Houston Chronicle:

The Salvation Army and a charity affiliated with the Houston Fire Department are among those that consider immigration status, asking for birth certificates or Social Security cards for the children.

So now you know.

Want to give your child some true joy this Christmas? Just get him or her a freakin’ Social Security Number!